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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI am not posting this for the purpose of getting either sympathy or suggestions. I just think
that maybe it will comfort someone just to know they are not alone in their feelings of helplessness, irrelevancy and despair.
I think I remember at least thinking that I mattered; that by words and actions I could have some positive impact on the way the world works. That not only no longer seems true, it seems embarrassingly naive---even stupid.
People I respect and admire---the folks who do their best to live honorably and generously---so often seem to be losing to "the bad guys". Lies seem more profitable than truth and kindness is considered weakness. Tolerance and civility are ridiculed and punished while bigotry and vulgarity are praised and rewarded. After three score and a dozen years of trying to "do the right thing", I feel like a fool.
Apparently, those who laugh at my ignorance and ridicule my values have been right all along.
I will turn in now and try not to think of anything. If tomorrow comes, I'll find some way to deal with it.
dweller
(23,661 posts)choie
(4,111 posts)I'm feeling similarly - I'm angry, deeply depressed and helpless about the injustice, lack of empathy and unfairness that we are dealing with in this country. The lack of accountability after the impeachment trial and now Trump's upcoming performance at CPAC just put a cap on it.
meadowlander
(4,402 posts)She spent twenty years building up the infrastructure and social capital to do it, but she did it.
Like the old saying goes, "If you think things are bad now, trying giving up and see just how badly they can actually suck."
Every tiny action you do, everything you say ripples out and affects the people around you. Every time you treat someone with respect who has been disrespected or get someone to stop and think about what they actually just said or set a good example in front of a kid.
You might not see the results for 20 years, but they are out there accumulating.
If nothing else, you can be the change. And in the long run that actually does matter even if it doesn't make gripping television viewing. We just live in an age where the media amplifies the voices of the stupidest and cruelest. But we have made real progress on things like LGBTQ rights and climate change awareness and support for universal health care and gun control and diverse representation in the media and government. While the news stays focused on the most extreme whack-jobs on the right, the bulk of the country has been moving slowly but steadily to the left on a number of issues.
GreenEyedLefty
(2,073 posts)I agree with all you have written. I feel less and less visible or relevant the older I get.
And yet, I continue on.
Sympthsical
(9,111 posts)It's all any of us can do. It's easy to forget that for human beings, one life is an entire world. For that person.
I think, as part of a culture with mass media entirely geared toward attracting eyeballs, it becomes incredibly easy to focus on what is wrong. When something is wrong, our brains are trained to recognize and respond to it. However, that makes it increasingly difficult to see what is right. "Person Did Awesome Thing" doesn't exactly make cable news at the top of the hour. "You And All You Love Is Dying (Again) and Here are the Reasons My Staffers Came Up With Today" is pretty much how it all goes.
It's all designed to get a response. The only way to stifle it is to not respond to it. The only way to heal it (and yourself) is to focus on the things you can change.
I stopped worrying too much about how the rest of the world is going when it comes to my actions. My actions as a private citizen will only ripple so far. Friends, family, co-workers. Even a neighbor or stranger on the street. Even just asking someone if they're ok. Small things. But a lot of small things lead to a big thing - a life honorably lived.
We'll get through all of this. We've been through far worse. Remember, this is the most peaceful and prosperous time in human history. Wouldn't think so to look at the news, would it? And yet it is. If we all work on our little corners of the world instead of constantly looking at the big picture, quite a bit can and will change over time.
Arazi
(6,829 posts)"We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice."
We don't know our part in this grand play called life. We must just be our true selves with painful honesty and give ourselves over to the cause of justice, every day. With small acts of kindness and truth there is an honorable life.
Hang in there. We're in the middle of historic change for America. Keep on being your best self, it's enough in these dark days
Do not give up or lose heart. We are in a much better place then we were a year ago, snd it will continue to improve the longer we stand firm. This is the fight for the soul of this democracy, and as long as we stay in the fight, it aint over. We have to crush these traitors and keep this republic alive.
Dang good post. 🙏
cry baby
(6,682 posts)giving humans the benefit of the doubt. Ive been feeling lately that Ive been so wrong. Like you say, I feel foolish too.
Now I worry about the naïveté I have passed on to my kids.
Plus, Im almost 65. Feeling like my time to make a difference in the world is coming to an end and that those of us that value kindness and compassion have failed to make enough of a difference. Its a helpless feeling.
Thanks for expressing your thoughts. Youre not alone.
Skittles
(153,193 posts)heck, there NEVER is a time when you cannot make a difference! DON'T LET THOSE FASCIST BASTARDS TAKE YOU DOWN!
cry baby
(6,682 posts)I will admit that since covid, my attitude is different, not in a good way.
I wont stop trying. I wrote a couple of hundred postcards for GOTV in Georgia. In my imagination, it helped.
But Im really feeling exactly like Atticus although his talent in written communication is much better than mine.
I promise, dear Skittles, to keep trying.
Skittles
(153,193 posts)we just...cannot let them win
wnylib
(21,606 posts)You might never reach such high leadership as the White House, but don't think that age is a barrier.
Remember that centenarian British officer who raised millions for covid relief by walking miles in his garden and recently died of covid? He not only raised huge sums of money at an age that most people never reach, but he was an inspiration. Another Brit, even older (103) is doing the same thing now in his place.
Next to them, you're still quite a young man.
cry baby
(6,682 posts)Just speaking for myself, it is dispiriting and energy-draining to see so much criminal/deplorable behavior benefit so damn many criminals/deplorables. Bad behavior is as old as the human race and Im aware that bad behavior has benefited some throughout history.
At the risk of sounding like a crotchety, grumpy, judgmental old person in a creaky rocking chair on the front porch...I dont remember a time in my life that so many people publicly delight in being deplorable. I feel naive in my past optimism, seeing people through my own personally made rose colored glasses. Atticus wrote much better than I.
It remains to be seen if, in the long run, this popularity of criminals/deplorables will continue. For whatever good it may do, Ill keep speaking up for to keep decency in our country.
wnylib
(21,606 posts)To me, it's scary that they are so open and flamboyant about their hatred, criminnality, greed, etc. Scary because it means they have enough clout and followers to feel safe about flaunting what they are.
Imagine what people like us felt in 1930s Germany. But things do change. Look at Germany today.
We might not live long enough to see the complete turnaround for the US (I'm no spring chicken, either), but it will happen. Just look at today's young people, with their courage and resilience. They see throughthe BS and say so.
The fact that the hatred, criminality, and violence are so open and scary makes me more angry than discouraged. To paraphrade Greta Thunberg, "How dare they?"
When I get angry like that, it deepens my resolve to fight back with political and social activism. Even if it just means doing little things locally, every bit really does count toward making life better and the world a better place.
cry baby
(6,682 posts)The effects of isolation are getting to me, I think. Although my state is getting to be a hotbed of nastiness more and more, when I get a vaccination, I can get back to work in my blue dot. Perhaps the very fact that I havent been active in the effort locally is one source of frustration.
Im with you in the encouraging behavior in our young generation. We may not see justice happen but I know my two kids, with many others of their generation, will continue to work toward justice for criminals/deplorables.
We fight on, my friend.
wnylib
(21,606 posts)We can donate online to political causes and candidates. We can phone bank for candididates. We can get involved online in local political organizations. We can keep up with what is going on through online articles, book purchases and library checkouts, and of course, DU. We can discuss shared views and ideas with liberal/progressive people in our lives on local goals and how to organize for changes and improvements. We can support the arts - music, theatre, books - that promote a better vision for society.
And we can get enough R & R for ouselves in things we love, with people we love, to keep us grounded and to avoid burning out. Pursue whatever refreshes you emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.
Imagine how prepared and raring to go then we will be then when isolation is no longer necessary.
MustLoveBeagles
(11,634 posts)abqtommy
(14,118 posts)a history of depression I've never given up. If I can be a part of making this positive change in
our politics and and society then I'm content to be a cheerleader for the many reforms that are
needed worldwide. If we can maintain our momentum by making sure that we have fair and
secure elections then I/we can accomplish a lot of good. So be proud. Be loud. We're innit
to winnit and our only serious enemy is ourselves.
You're not alone but you are part of a strong, vital group so act like it!
fierywoman
(7,694 posts)has gotten me through the dreck we are all slogging through:
"The world is broken,
but you are not broken.
Things may not be o.k.,
but you are o.k.
And you will be. I promise."
wackadoo wabbit
(1,167 posts)... moves towards enlightenment.
And I do believe he was right. Think back to what it was like to be gay or a woman or a person of color back in the '50s (which is within the lifetime of many on DU). Now think what it's like to be a member of any of these groups today. Things aren't perfect, but at least they've improved. For some, circumstances have improved a lot; and for others, at least the problems are having a light shown on them so that, hopefully, in the future, things can also improve.
Sometimes (always?) progress can seem too slow, but today gays can marry, a woman is Vice President, and racism is now no longer hidden but is obvious to anyone with any consciousness whatsoever. So things are improving. We just need to keep striving towards the light.
Keep the faith.
Pepsidog
(6,254 posts)really are in big trouble. I say it all the time but until
we somehow deal with the scourge that is Fox we are stuck with a really shitty country. And with the structural imbalance caused by the electoral college we are stuck being ruled by the minority party. It really is deflating to think that anything that Biden does pass that helps has a good shot of being knocked out by a SCOTUS that is right there trying to own the libs.
Turin_C3PO
(14,047 posts)at any one time, only four million out of 328 million are watching Fox News. Theyre not as powerful as one would think.
PatrickforB
(14,587 posts)a decade older than me.
Still, I must say these things:
No human being is irrelevant. All are precious.
You HAVE had a positive impact. I often look for your posts and read them.
You know, the two biggest illusions are lust for power and lust for wealth - but we are all mortal. All that will ever matter is the good you have spread in your life, like ripples on a pond.
Not to be too gushy here, but tomorrow will come. Lies are NOT more profitable than truth. Hate is NOT more profitable than love. And finally, those who have laughed at your ignorance and ridiculed your values have NOT been right all along.
You have.
thenelm1
(854 posts)corporate "person" can do the same, and literally drowned out millions of us to their own benefit...what could possibly go wrong?
That "one person, one vote" thing? Just a minor annoyance to moneyed classes.
The whole system has been totally perverted to favor those with the bucks. (Without which the R's would be but a minor blip on the radar.)
You're completely on point. And I suspect much of the nutso angst from the street level folk on the right comes from the same conditions though maybe most don't realize it. Their, and our concerns are completely subsumed to big money.
The whole system has been perverted such that those that represent the money (while pretending to be for the little guy) have essentially shut out regular citizens, both of left and right, from actually having any sway in the political process beyond making sure "the right people" vote. How else do you explain a minority party (the Rs) continuing to have or maintain near equal, or until just recently, majority standing? Or that, from polling, majorities of citizens from both parties want essentially the same things (Covid relief funding, higher minimum wage, etc.) while the politicos from the right are fighting against the wishes of their constituents tooth and nail? They just have to present some nonsensical argument against and their base follows because - stick it to the libs seems to be the only consistent reason. These guys spend so much energy trying to find reasons to divide us versus trying to find common ground - which benefits who? Only their political careers and their moneyed benefactors. Certainly not their constituents (Texas being just the most recent example, though in this case it's state politics vs national. But, the end result is the same.) Screed over...
ancianita
(36,133 posts)subservient to corporate interests.
It's never foolish to refuse to put up with corporations having standing before the Constitution that's equal to the humans it was written for.
Corporations spread the hype that they are 'persons' and their money is 'speech.'
Neither is true under law yet.
No ruling by SCOTUS has ever explicitly stated that they are, though their collective rulings in their favor have come from those pro-corporate arguments. (that they are 'persons' and their money is 'speech.' )
Only a fool will entertain that fictional personhood entities deserve equal standing to determine the governance of humans.
This issue of standing before the law must get explicitly settled once and for all. You can have a constitutional democracy that holds humans above corporate entities, or you can have fascism.
Don't believe the hype. They want you to feel foolish in the face of moneyed powers. They've stealth made their way into Goliath status in the courts, but us Davids can still beat them.
spooky3
(34,476 posts)Fostering or any other role in the process will really show you what a difference one can make. Poor, helpless, desperate animals improve in your care and go on to make their new humans so happy. There are some heartbreaks but so many more happy moments with grateful, loving creatures.
chillfactor
(7,584 posts)I am not a foster parent but yesterday I adopted a beautiful little girl.....a 6# Chihuahua. She was hard to adopt because she had been abused and had problems. Dogs seem to gravitate to me because they know I love them. I was told it would take some time before she trusted me. Right after the foster parent left, Sassy (her name) was on my lap and giving me kisses. Last night she cuddled up next to me in my warm water bed and slept the entire night. Yes, she has problems but she and I will work through them. I believe the thing she needs most is LOVE. I am 79 years old, live alone, and was bored to death, lonely, and depressed. A friend suggested I get a dog. I now have someone to love, a reason to get up in the morning because I know she needs me. Now she is sitting in my lap with her blanket and sound asleep.
spooky3
(34,476 posts)And your new baby!
Im currently trying to get my newest (abused) cat to settle down and stop biting his brother to play all night. It will be a long process. but usually its much less challenging.
Sugar Smack
(18,748 posts)You are exactly what Sassy needed and wanted!
Ponietz
(3,004 posts)The hungry ghosts have the upper hand and are insatiable.
moonscape
(4,673 posts)my father wrote me a moving letter that sadly got lost along the way. I won't forget its contents though.
He was a business executive and one of the most ethical people I ever knew or met. Okay, the most ethical.
He wrote about what I would experience and witness as I embarked on my business career, the shortcuts in ethics and morality that would appear to get people ahead. But he wanted to assure me that those gains would be on shaky ground and inevitably fail, and if that sticking to one's principles gets one ahead in the long run both professionally and most importantly personally.
I wish I had his eloquent words and was not left with only their message conveyed with more inadequate ones.
Have thought about that letter a lot the last years, last 4 in particular, and while it often seems they were wrong, the only option for personal preservation is to operate on the long view that they're accurate.
Bradshaw3
(7,529 posts)I think a lot of people of a certain age are feeling the way you describe. We've gone from the goals of peace and love to this miasma of fascism, might makes right, and intentional ignorance we're in today. I've always been interested in politics and seen ups (post Watergate when the bad guys went to jail and the Church committee tried to reign in our foreign adventures, and electing our first Black President) and downs (Reagan, the Bush wars and then the POS). And now the sicknesses of greed, racism and hate have been emboldened to bring their pathology to the rest of us. We have to deal with their destruction of the Golden Rule in our everyday lives, as well as the destruction of the Social Contract that is a pillar of our democracy. It is discouraging.
Like you I feel like I have often been a fool for believing in the basic goodness of people and that our country was headed in the right direction. Now I wonder if it will survive another 20 years as the imperfect beacon it was. I've had several friends my age express the same feeling that we are glad we lived when we did. That's a sad way to feel and I kind of feel guilty for thinking that way. But there it is.
As others have pointed out here, there are many great things to celebrate and that are moving in the right direction. We just have to keep moving them that way and hope the younger people continue to get more and more involved. Plus, we just can't let these assholes win. Bullies want us to quit and fascism depends on it. We have to keep fighting.
Turin_C3PO
(14,047 posts)minorities, women, and LGBT are in a better place now than they were in the past. The world has less war than ever. Our country is in a fragile state right now but all is not lost.
Bradshaw3
(7,529 posts)I just pointed out the current state of affairs and admitted it was discouraging but that we have to keep fighting.
I'm well aware that things are better for those groups, but the gains will be lost if the fascists win. Look at what's happened to abortion rights. Gains won can be lost. There may be less wide scale war but fascism is growing around the world and regional conflicts will definitely worsen if the world doesn't start making real strides towards addressing climate change. Kerry said we have nine years and I don't see a great momentum toward turning it around. We have to keep fighting but you can't do that by wearing rose colored glasses.
Turin_C3PO
(14,047 posts)I was just throwing out my own thoughts. I definitely agree that things are headed in a bad direction, especially in regards to climate change. Thats what keeps me up at night.
Bradshaw3
(7,529 posts)Which some may disagree with even posting. But these are feelings that many of us - as I wrote of a certain age - are having. Atticus may have a little different perspective today and I may as well. Of course the bad guys want that feeling of despair, so we can't give in. Sorry if my tone was harsh. Between the relentless trampling of decency and democracy by the fascists and the isolation of the pandemic I think many are having a hard time now. But we can hope the vaccines will help to quell the pandemic and if we can win more seats in the midterms (and if a certain person could finally succumb to a diet of KFC and rage) the outlook will brighten.
AverageOldGuy
(1,542 posts)I'm 75, born and reared in Jim Crow Mississippi. As a college student in Alabama in the 1960's I marched in Selma, Montgomery and Birmingham. I, too, find myself after a bit too much good whiskey sitting on my deck late at night and watching the ghosts and monsters coming out of the woods.
I live in a deep-red rural VA county. I work out at a local gym 4-5 mornings a week. I wear one of my two favorite T-shirts:
-- One reads "Let justice roll down like a mighty river and righteousness like a never-ending stream." (Amos 5:24)
-- One reads "Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8)
At least once a week another gym rat -- young, old, middle-age, men, women -- stops me and thanks me for the T-shirt. Just today, a 20-something young woman stopped me, thanked me for the shirt, and said "What really pisses me off is -- My grandmother marched, my mother marched, and now I'm still marching to stop this shit."
You are not alone -- remember MLK "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice
Tree Lady
(11,491 posts)That was a very thoughtful post.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)You are one of a light on DU...
Your echange with patients tells us how your day is going..has went.
We then get to feed off your interactions. We feel good if you had a good day. or maybe a bit grumpy if you had a bad patient that day.
WE NEED YOU!
CaptainTruth
(6,601 posts)CaptainTruth
(6,601 posts)Jesus, I can't tell you how much I have felt what you're feeling, that feeling that if you don't matter to someone, you don't matter at all.
YOU MATTER TO ALL OF US! TO ME! TO YOUR ENTIRE DU FAMILY!
Sending love...
CaptainTruth
(6,601 posts)I have been there. God have I been there! I've gone through times in my life when I couldn't count on the next day coming.
I'm happy to talk IRL... just let me know. I'm on WhatsApp, & others, & of course I have a cell number.
Bless you, my friend!
Jeebo
(2,026 posts)... and 999 steps backward. Your post consists of a description of the 999 steps backward, while longing wistfully for the 1000 steps forward. But that's just in the short term. Hang in there, in the long term the 1000 steps forward will come.
-- Ron
electric_blue68
(14,933 posts)sometimes with the Internet you can cast a light further,
as well.
You never know that an act of kindness, encouragement, sharing good laughter, sharing good information, sharing beauty, creativity etc will ripple from the one(s) who receive it.
I get the hopeless feelings off & on. We have a lot to fight for but thank the powers Biden & Kamala are in office now. We have the House , AND Senate. People are out there making a difference.
While I don't always feel that optimistic about my life, and often feel more optimistic about others. Still there's lot of pain all around the world - yet many people still strive for kindness, improvement, creativity, and inventiveness.
You never know for sure where wonderful ideas for an area, for most, all of us might emerge from.
I don't always feel this way. I'm glad I do feel it when I do.
And even with covid Spring 🌳🌷🌳 is coming soon!
(at least in the Northern Hemi, and colder climes. If u live in San Diego you've got nothing to complain about!
Joking, you might have a good reason)
OnDoutside
(19,970 posts)One of the things you learn as president is, as powerful as this office is, you have limited bandwidth. And the time goes by really quickly and youre constantly making choices, and there are pressures on you from all different directionspressures on your attention, not just pressures from different constituencies. And so you have to be pretty focused about where can you have the biggest, quickest impact. And I always tell my staff, Better is good. Ill take better every time, because better is hard. Better may not be as good as the best, but better is surprisingly hard to obtain. And better is actually harder than worse. [Laughter]
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/12/ta-nehisi-coates-obama-transcript-ii/511133/
nuxvomica
(12,441 posts)I believe we are fundamentally wired to be heroes, as every ordinary life follows the classic hero cycle found throughout myth and literature since the dawn of humankind: we are born into a state of innocence, we learn and grow, meeting challenges that awaken us to our own powers as we become more aware of the sorry state of the world around us. Adulthood is itself a quest to transform the world, even if only our tiny part of it, into a place that is safe for the innocent, so that the cycle can begin anew.
Look at any great story, and the hero is always reluctant, has doubts, suffers sacrifice of some sort or another, but the impulse to protect innocence and transform the world into a safe place is always there. Rejecting that impulse leads to corruption, a state of arrested development, addiction to comfort, and ever growing fearfulness. I call it the eternal twilight of childhood, in which people with the powers of adulthood nonetheless behave like spoiled children; they become the anti-hero, the villain, but see themselves as victims.
So this feeling of despondency comes with the territory of the hero -- the villain is blissfully free of it. It is the dark night of the soul that calls on the hero to recalculate, reconsider, restore, acquire perspective, to "gird up your loins" and become ready for the next challenge. Myth, literature and history teaches us that this time is necessary for the journey to continue, that many have been though this before and if they hold to the heroic path, they can prevail.
hamsterjill
(15,224 posts)I have been down. Been out of work for a year now, and saw an opportunity yesterday morning that excited me. I immediately made the required application online, as well as emailed the principle of the company who Ive known for years expressing an interest and listing my qualifications...only to get a response that the position had been filled hours before. It was just a gut punch. Another in a long list of disappointments. I barely made it through the day.
Last night, I was blindly watching YouTube videos. You know, just scrolling and watching whatever came up. I watched a Max Lucado short video and it seemed to be relevant to me. Long and short of it, look up the word peripeteia.
We all are in need of a moment where the story changes, where we get a rebound, a second chance. We need some good.
I just went through the Texas ice storm. Without power for over 30 hours, and I was one of the lucky ones. But I was telling my sister yesterday, that although I am eternally grateful to have made it through that and other things of late, that Im really weary and tired of good only being the lack of bad. There was a time in my life when there was good. A nice surprise once in a while. A nice outcome.
I want that back.
Roisin Ni Fiachra
(2,574 posts)FM123
(10,054 posts)Vinca
(50,303 posts)LSD-induced words and actions on the right. You wonder how on earth anyone can believe what they seem to believe, be as ignorant as they seem to exhibit on a daily basis and be missing any sense of decency and morality. I wonder, too. As another "three score and a dozen" as of this month, it continues to keep me in awe that the things that have happened have really happened. We really did teeter close to having an orange Idi Amin and a large chunk of the populace seems fine with that idea. I'll never understand it. Despite our up days and down days, we'll keep on striving for what is right and just because that's who we are. And I'm grateful for that.
Pongo
(4,170 posts)I no longer feel that way with Biden and Harris at the helm.
Delphinus
(11,840 posts)Did you reach into my head and my heart to write this?
Demsrule86
(68,667 posts)McConnell's hand...held the House too. That is a good thing. We will soon enact a bill that will help Americans and we are moving ahead with Covid vaccinations.
Karma13612
(4,554 posts)Emotionally and philosophically, this is when we need to try even harder to get up the next morning, stand up again, and keep looking forward.
I feel every word you wrote Atticus. Every word. And you are right.
My plan for days when life is black is to just get thru them.
I am in a really sunny spot right now, but I can see back to my dark days thru your words.
You will find the sun again. I will face the dark clouds again. But we have each other, here at DU and other support structures in our life. Seek them out. Believe in yourself. Treat yourself if you can, no matter how small. Write in a journal. Walk.
Dont let the bastards grind you down
I step away from the news when it gets to be too much. I take pleasure that we are making small strides forward.
KPN
(15,650 posts)foolish or that they were right yet. May I ask what was the straw that finally pushed you there?
As I ebb and flow along the edge of that precipice, what usually brings me closest is disappointment in people whether they are leaders of stature, or people I am personally associated with who are either important to me or for whom I have admiration as no respect. I must say, in politics there are many of those.
TFRD
(205 posts)Righteousness is knowing what is right, saying what is right and (most importantly) doing what is right.
When I started following DU, my wife told me who I should keep an eye on and you (Atticus) was one of the few named she listed. I have since grown familiar with others that I trust and you still remain from the beginning. These may seem to be just words, but if you knew me personally then you would know that these types of comments are not freely given, nor are they meant as simple fodder.
Many of us know and your frustrations and can empathize with you, but know this: those who relent will be lost in the fray and the sands of time.
I for one shall never relent, for I know there will come a time when righteousness will prevail and it shall bear witness to the truth.
Thank you!
TFRD