Column: My wife is vaccinated. I'm not. Welcome to the new world of haves and have-nots

[brooklynite]

Los Angeles Times

In my house, we have a problem. My wife has been vaccinated; I haven’t.

Am I envious? Of course I am. Resentful? Yeah, some of that too. When she came home all cheerful after her second COVID-19 vaccine shot last week, I couldn’t help feel that she had crossed safely to the other side of a giant chasm, while I remained at the edge of the cliff.

Later, when she complained of a headache and some chills from the second shot, I was, perhaps, a tad less sympathetic than I could have been.

For a year we’ve been housebound together. But suddenly she was eligible for her shots and I was not. And now (or presumably very soon), she’ll be able to traipse off to a restaurant or a rave or an orgy or a national insurrection, while I’ll still be cowering at home hiding from the virus.

[jrthin]

1. I know exactly how you feel. My husband has been vaccinated, I have not.

Every word in your post reflects my feeling and thoughts.

[IA8IT]

2. I tell myself I'm staying home alone so I don't become part of the problem and spreading a virus.

Doesn't make me feel any better.

[In_The_Wind]

3. My shot is scheduled, my husband's shot has not been thus far.

We've stayed home for a year. We'll wait to celebrate until we can go out together.

[Hortensis]

4. God, I hate resentful, victimhood mentalities. I'd have "divided"

that husband on his negative, "half full means empty" way decades ago.

[LizBeth]

16. And if I was the wife I would easily recognize and with the shot probably just hunker down with him.

I do not think I would rub it in his face with an orgy, anyway. But, I would expect a little more of husband mean, on any level regardless intended or suggested humor or exaggeration.

[Hortensis]

23. :) It's being abused by society that people like him complain about tho,

Lizbeth. I bet he's perpetually angry about getting (in his mind) the short end of the stick.

We signed my husband up ahead of me, while I held off because a course of medication I'm on lessens the efficacy of the vaccines. I'll be just plain glad when he gets his.

As I am for all those vaccinated so far because this isn't a zero-sum game. We're all in this together, even the disease spreaders. Vaccinations proceeding not only do not make me a victim, they all make me and mine that much safer.

He assumes large numbers feel as he does, though. And we know some do.

[LizBeth]

25. Right. Yes. Good post.

[GoCubsGo]

5. I know how that author feels, as I see all the "I got vaccinated" posts here.

Meanwhile, it will be months before I am eligible. As always, thanks to the admins for "trash this thread." Been using it a lot lately.

[csziggy]

27. I'm sorry you are not eligible yetand I understand how frustrated you must be

Hopefully, with the way the Biden administration is working so hard, there will be enough for every single person in the US to get vaccinated before the summer.

It's already gotten better - a month ago my husband and I had no hope of getting vaccinated before April. Then my doctor's office suddenly got a much larger and reliable supply and they are giving shots as fast as possible.

Hang in there, your turn will come.

[Lochloosa]

6. My wife got hers. I have the exact opposite reaction.

I will get mine soon, UT am relived and grateful she has hers.

[LizBeth]

17. Right. I would think this. I don't even like my X but good he got the shot before me. He had cancer.

[DenaliDemocrat]

7. What a selfish and myopic view.

Every vaccinated person is one less to spread the virus (we hope). All benefit collectively. My inoculated physician means it’s safer for me to go to the doctor. A vaccinated truck driver means my food arrives.

Jesus what a prick

[jimfields33]

11. I think he's just jealous that she gets to shop, go out to eat, go to parks,

Visit friends, go on vacation while he waits at home for the phone call. I kinda feel the same. My neighbors started to renew their game nights, weekly dinners, sports, etc while I watch from the window. Ha. Seriously, vaccinated people are seriously the winners of life’s lottery.

[xmas74]

29. I paid for that vaccine

By watching people die from covid and feeling worthless,knowing I could do nothing. Since our individuals are developmentally disabled some couldn't understand why they were so sick or that they were dying.

I dream about them.

I also paid for that vaccination with the weeks spent quarantined throughout the past year from my family and even my pets-in my own house- due to exposure. Do you know how hard it is to quarantine yourself from everyone in a small house with one bathroom? This quarantine still meant I worked 16 hour days- it just meant that when I had an awful day I couldn't get a hug from my family,snuggle w my cat and that every time I used my own bathroom I had to scrub and sanitize it out of fear that I might have something and spread it.

I had it easy compared to some but that vaccine didn't make me feel like I won the lottery.

[jimfields33]

32. Yowza! You sure did.

Thank you for all you’ve done during this whole time.

[xmas74]

33. Hundreds of thousands have done the same.

I just hate hearing people think this was a golden ticket and our lives are back to normal,with a minimum of inconvenience. For some their lives will never be normal.

Treating this like a golden ticket diminishes all pain. It erases all the losses. Even with our 2 doses many of us are not living normal lives. We're still working excessive amounts of overtime, some of which is due to burnout. We still aren't going out, not having people over, not skipping and laughing.We're just thankful that we can go to work and be less concerned about contracting something that could kill us.

[RandiFan1290]

39. The right wants us fighting over the vaccine now

best to ignore their bait.

[Kaleva]

8. I'd be thrilled if my wife had gotten her vaccine even if it was long before I got mine.

[TheBlackAdder]

9. Yeah, just because she can go places, she'll still carry COVID on her clothes, on shoes, in the car.

.

While the vaccine prevents carrier spread, the body can still spread it via breath * skin shortly after exposure.

I'd still be happy as family members slowly get it. It diminishes the risk to the rest of the family.

Folks who get the shots can't let their guard down.

.

[NNadir]

10. My wife was happy for me when I got vaccinated, and drove me in case I had a reaction.

She didn't know when she'd get hers. (I'm older than her, and I have health issues she doesn't have.)

As it happened, she got a text at midnight this week offering an appointment, which she took.

I'm happy for her, but I'm my heart is thumping with love to understand that she happy for me irrespective of her own situation.

If the situation had been reversed, I would have been as thrilled for her as she was for me.

[Vinca]

12. We intentionally scheduled it so one would get it one week, the other the next -

in case either of us felt lousy afterward. My husband got it last week (first because he's at greater risk for exposure) and I'll get it Tuesday. So far so good with him. I happened to be at a Walgreens this morning and noticed they're now giving it, too, so that's a positive sign.

[Mariana]

13. I'm happy that my spouse is being vaccinated. He's had his first dose.

He's at much higher risk of a bad Covid-19 outcome than I am. He also won't be so stupid and thoughtless as to run out and take the chance that he'll bring it home to me, once his vaccination is complete. He'll continue to take the same precautions as before.

[RockRaven]

14. My household is mixed vaccinated/not because of differences in eligibility...

The whole household is continuing isolation behaviors as if we were all unvaccinated until we've all been allowed to get vaccinated.

It's not very safe for vaccinated people to go back to normal lifestyle when they've got unvaccinated people in the house. The vaccines vastly reduce hospitalizations and deaths, but they only reduce infection by 90-some percent. You can still bring the virus into your home and infect your unprotected family members.

[srobertss]

15. I felt like I had won the lottery

when I successfully grabbed an appt for my husband who is 5 years older than me. He wanted to wait until I was eligible, but I started haunting the various sites telling him he got to be the designated shopper. I figured when I became eligible, appts would be even harder to find as the eligibility pool grew. Now I have one for Monday and feel like I’ve won the lottery again. But I do stay mindful of the younger people, especially with underlying conditions, who are not yet eligible and only have vague promises as to when it will happen. If the eligibility protocols had been based more on someone’s ability to control their exposure, I think I would have been fine with that. And I know some people who have decided to hold back because they want to give others quicker access. I’m not so generous and I’m not sure my holding back would speed things up anyway.

My point: it’s complicated and there’s no perfect scenario.

[questionseverything]

18. You mentioned people holding back to be polite and

I have heard similar things from a friend, drives me nuts, even though they are well intentioned it’s a big mistake.

Every person that is vaccinated helps break the chain of disease, while no protection is 100percent certain the vaccine greatly diminishes the chance of the spread

[drray23]

19. I do not feel that way at all.

I am glad my wife got the vaccine. I am younger and do not qualify. However, I am fit and I am less worried about myself that I was about my wife getting it. Its a big worry off my mind. I will just continue to be careful and follow safety measures until I get it. Until then, at least I know that if worst came to worst my wife would still be there for the rest of the family.
The reaction this guy is having to his wife getting vaccinated before him makes me question whether or not he really cares for her. Who gets jealous of their spouse when they get a potentially life saving procedure ?

[muriel_volestrangler]

20. Well, yeah, you can't magic up enough vaccines for everyone all on the same day

At least the existence of a household that is part-vaccinated, part not shows that it's not simply wealth that is the determinant of who gets vaccinated first. Though that is responsible for most of the differences between countries.

But manufacturing safe vaccines for a disease within a year of its discovery was never going to be easy. The columnist seems to think there was a way to do the whole world at once.

[helpisontheway]

21. Almost all of my family is vaccinated...

I’m thrilled that they will be safe now. However, I’m a little envious too. I have family members in another state that are in their 30’s without health conditions yet they were able to be vaccinated. I’m in my late 40’s with several comorbidities in Virginia but can’t get vaccinated. Even though the governor claims that Virginia is in 1B (which is supposed to include 16+ with health conditions). None of the places that have vaccine will vaccinate people under 65 with 1B. So it is frustrating. If he said we were 1C then I would be fine with it. I live in a city with low population and a ton of senior citizens so it will likely be forever before I’m vaccinated. I will just continue what I have been doing for a year and hope to be okay. Some have said they were able to get it by traveling to North Carolina. If it takes much longer we might be willing to do that..

[russiamommy]

30. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...

NC is not doing high risk adults under 65 yet. I have a friend in VA - 56 with Athena. She was able to get her vaccine in VA. Got a call and and an appointment two hours later. This was two weeks ago. She has a friend that was able to go into NC to get it a month or so ago, but those days are over I’m afraid. All the states are tightening up on “state hopping”. Either way, NC is not doing high risk adults under 65. I’m in NC and in that category - Group 4. Were only on the beginning of Group 2. If you’re in VA you have a better chance of getting the vaccine in BA than in NC.

[helpisontheway]

37. Okay. Thank you for the information. Nt

[Klaralven]

22. While she was on the pill, I didn't wear a condom.

After I got a vasectomy, she didn't take the pill.

We all do our part.

[Pobeka]

24. My SO got vaccinated, I didn't. So guess what?

I have a designated shopper

How could I be dissapointed by that? At least one of us can shop at much, much, much lower risk.

[luv2fly]

26. My wife got hers, I have not yet

No resentment, she's in health care and I'm not. My turn will come and if she gets to do something fun before me with other vaccinated friends, good for her.

[hunter]

28. I didn't write that.

My wife is a front line health care worker. She's been vaccinated.

Seems fair, considering the all-covid-all-the-time hell she's been living through. Some of her coworkers got sick with covid, were out for weeks, which made the work all the more difficult for everyone else.

I'm a hermit who can work at home. It's not my turn for the vaccine yet.

My wife says the second vaccine was worse than the first. If she hadn't gotten the vaccine the day before her day off she says she might have stayed home sick.

Some of her coworkers did stay home sick the day after their second vaccine.

[SouthernIrish]

31. I have had my 1st shot. My boyfriend hasn't had his yet.

I work in healthcare so I got mine before he will. He has MS and can't work. I look at it this way, he can stay away from others, where I have to work around patients every day.

I have empathy for him, so I decided that I will not go out to eat or anywhere else until he gets his 2nd shot and we can go together.

[Mister Ed]

34. Given the choice, I'd want my wife vaccinated first.

It's just a hypothetical, because the distribution doesn't work like that and people in a household don't get to choose who goes first. But yeah, given the choice, I'd want her protected right away while I waited it out. I don't know what the writer of that Op-Ed piece is on about.

[JI7]

35. I didn't click on the link so not sure if it's worth reading.

but I found what was posted annoying.

[Renew Deal]

36. Random Thoughts by the LA Times

Soon they will be posting about beer and travel money.

[USALiberal]

38. What an asshole! Nt