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Mon Mar 1, 2021, 11:37 PM

I am a SWM, 63, and have never understood many older men.

Why do so many older men get the hots for some pretty young woman, and then think their feelings would reciprocated by said woman young enough to be their daughter, niece or granddaughter?

You get aroused, fine. You need to take your arousal into the closest bathroom, and masturbate it away. I guess many men never get and accept the message that because they get an erection, some woman is NOT obligated to relieve them.

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Reply I am a SWM, 63, and have never understood many older men. (Original post)
MicaelS Mar 2021 OP
no_hypocrisy Mar 2021 #1
MicaelS Mar 2021 #2
dawg day Mar 2021 #12
Claustrum Mar 2021 #3
MicaelS Mar 2021 #4
spooky3 Mar 2021 #6
moonscape Mar 2021 #16
spooky3 Mar 2021 #26
moonscape Mar 2021 #58
lagomorph777 Mar 2021 #98
pnwmom Mar 2021 #45
moonscape Mar 2021 #59
haele Mar 2021 #95
moonscape Mar 2021 #111
Tracer Mar 2021 #100
Mr.Bill Mar 2021 #110
aeromanKC Mar 2021 #5
dem4decades Mar 2021 #9
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #25
pnwmom Mar 2021 #50
Baked Potato Mar 2021 #7
ChubbyStar Mar 2021 #18
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #24
obamanut2012 Mar 2021 #66
kcr Mar 2021 #78
RobinA Mar 2021 #104
Karma13612 Mar 2021 #79
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #97
Baked Potato Mar 2021 #103
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #106
Baked Potato Mar 2021 #107
GulfCoast66 Mar 2021 #8
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #23
GulfCoast66 Mar 2021 #36
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #39
GulfCoast66 Mar 2021 #55
obamanut2012 Mar 2021 #68
canetoad Mar 2021 #10
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #22
canetoad Mar 2021 #31
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #32
canetoad Mar 2021 #34
obamanut2012 Mar 2021 #69
scuciti Mar 2021 #11
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #21
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #13
treestar Mar 2021 #86
MotorCityBeard Mar 2021 #112
lpbk2713 Mar 2021 #14
Beringia Mar 2021 #88
TexasBushwhacker Mar 2021 #15
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #19
pnwmom Mar 2021 #35
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #37
pnwmom Mar 2021 #38
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #41
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #42
pnwmom Mar 2021 #53
obamanut2012 Mar 2021 #72
obamanut2012 Mar 2021 #71
treestar Mar 2021 #83
Aristus Mar 2021 #17
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #20
Celerity Mar 2021 #28
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #29
canetoad Mar 2021 #43
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #46
Celerity Mar 2021 #54
obamanut2012 Mar 2021 #73
treestar Mar 2021 #87
Aristus Mar 2021 #90
Mendocino Mar 2021 #27
FakeNoose Mar 2021 #102
SunSeeker Mar 2021 #30
pnwmom Mar 2021 #33
C Moon Mar 2021 #40
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #44
C Moon Mar 2021 #48
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #51
kcr Mar 2021 #64
obamanut2012 Mar 2021 #74
kcr Mar 2021 #80
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #76
kcr Mar 2021 #77
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #96
kcr Mar 2021 #99
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #105
LanternWaste Mar 2021 #108
Gore1FL Mar 2021 #109
pnwmom Mar 2021 #52
Cetacea Mar 2021 #61
pnwmom Mar 2021 #62
Arazi Mar 2021 #65
Talitha Mar 2021 #47
pnwmom Mar 2021 #63
obamanut2012 Mar 2021 #75
TlalocW Mar 2021 #49
Jerryatric Mar 2021 #56
TexasBushwhacker Mar 2021 #57
Jerryatric Mar 2021 #60
leftyladyfrommo Mar 2021 #89
Baitball Blogger Mar 2021 #67
GoneOffShore Mar 2021 #70
treestar Mar 2021 #81
Oneironaut Mar 2021 #82
kcr Mar 2021 #85
taxi Mar 2021 #84
Johnny2X2X Mar 2021 #91
mvd Mar 2021 #92
Aristus Mar 2021 #93
Politicalgolfer Mar 2021 #94
BannonsLiver Mar 2021 #101

Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Mon Mar 1, 2021, 11:40 PM

1. I'm a SWF age 64 and here are a couple of my theories.

In their minds, they're still 24 and smoking hot. Their appearance has changed, but not their libido.

Ego. Going around with a hot young girl gets people talking about what a stud you must be for her to choose you.

Some don't care why the young girl partners up, even if it's for status and/or money. They like the ego rush.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #1)

Mon Mar 1, 2021, 11:42 PM

2. All excellent ideas. n/t

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #1)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:46 AM

12. I think they're also really immature-

and now they have power, and they want to get what they couldn't get when they were 17.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Mon Mar 1, 2021, 11:43 PM

3. It's bad to generalize a situation. There are times when the young girl is interested.

The problem is who is initialing such action. Most of the time, when the old men is initiating, that puts the young girl in a very bad situation as it's hard to put that guy down without hurting his feelings in public. The best course of action is to let the girl be the driving force.

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Response to Claustrum (Reply #3)

Mon Mar 1, 2021, 11:45 PM

4. I guess you are right. n/t

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Response to Claustrum (Reply #3)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:10 AM

6. There are very few times when an attractive 24 year old is interested in someone 40 years older,

unless the younger person is seeking money. To see how ridiculous it sounds, just switch the genders - how many attractive 24 year old men are genuinely interested in a 64 year old woman?

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Response to spooky3 (Reply #6)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:18 AM

16. My cousin in his 70's has fallen

in love with a Ukranian woman in her 30ís, barely older than his daughter, and they spent time together before the pandemic. They talk every day, have a romance going and talking marriage. He travelled to Switz several times during the pandemic (heís dual citizen) on nearly empty planes to see her.

She is a PhD in economics, has 2 contracts which yield her a 250k annual income, and is so drop-dead gorgeous she could model if she wanted. Heís an amazing guy, extremely charismatic and bright, with a business which yields almost no income. He lives with a former girlfriend because he canít afford his own place.

When he pressed her on the age issue and why the attraction, she said ĎI never met anyone like you.í Go figure. I chose not to probe about her relationship with her father ...

Sorry for the aside. It has been on my mind a lot. When the pandemic is over enough for her to come back to the US, Iím dreading a visit from them because it creeps me out thinking of seeing them together as a couple. I need to get over it and just be happy that heís so happy, but ...

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Response to moonscape (Reply #16)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:16 AM

26. I think you feel creeped out because you sense

something is wrong and the situation is not as the couple wants you to believe.

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Response to spooky3 (Reply #26)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 03:48 AM

58. I've not even met her, just seen

photos of her when he visited right before the pandemic. We live on opposite coasts. His daughter met her when she came to the US for the holidays 2019. My cousin reported his daughter asked not to spend time with them during her visit. I can imagine itíd be hard since the 2 are the same age.

My creep out really is strictly based on age. When I was in my mid 30ís I saw anyone 40 years older like a father if not grandfather, and I keep thinking there has to be an angle.

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Response to moonscape (Reply #58)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 11:40 AM

98. She's not for real. I've seen this script on my wife's toxic TV shows.

She has seven or eight other old fools on strings too.

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Response to moonscape (Reply #16)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:42 AM

45. Maybe she's angling for US citizenship. She could get it through marrying him,

and hope she'll be a US widow before long.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #45)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 03:55 AM

59. He is here on a Green Card. He's a

dual NZ and Swiss citizen, though was planning to get a US one in the next couple of years, though if 45 had become 46 he was leaving the country.

I thought of that, but she is currently living and working in Switzerland so has a work permit there. Not sure why she would need him vs having a relationship with someone younger. Itís still a leading theory, except the widow part. Iíve not put anything nefarious on it at this point.

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Response to moonscape (Reply #16)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 11:21 AM

95. It's odd. If your cousin is in good health and the two have similar interests,

It may be more of a companionship that she wants, and to her -and to him - the sex or "romance" is not a big deal. He gets an ego-boo and a good intellectual friendship, she gets a security and good intellectual friendship.
She might not want kids or what she sees as a younger man's aggressive activity.

Relationships are about many things, not just sexual attraction.

While squicky to those who think of marriage or living together as a partnership with benefits, some people and cultures don't see it that way.

For instance - my Father-in-law's last wife is only 5 years older than me, 20 years younger than her husband. However, they were both active in the same running and golf clubs, had similar hobbies and friends, and she was independently wealthy enough that it wouldn't seem she was being a gold-digger when they got together after his previous wife died. Laz, his sister, and she are actually still friends after FiL passed 8 years ago from a freak mosquito bite that gave him West Nile Virus.

All that being said, if there is a power imbalance involved, that is not a relationship, that's a attempt at a forced transaction, not a older person "being attracted to" a younger person.

Haele

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Response to haele (Reply #95)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 07:23 PM

111. Thanks for this. You're right. My cousin is

physically in amazing shape since he was an athlete (Olympic swimmer) and has always been active. Heís vital and younger than his years now. She is getting out of a marriage and has one son, doesnít want another. Heís extremely bright, hilarious, never met a stranger and has lived all over the world. They both bring a lot to the table, so itís just the age difference. They do have a strong, physical relationship so itís beyond companionship, though maybe thatís where the relationship will settle in time.

Thanks again for your input. Itís helpful.

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Response to spooky3 (Reply #6)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 11:47 AM

100. Not quite the age difference, but

look at Emmanuel Macron and his older wife.

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Response to Claustrum (Reply #3)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 07:22 PM

110. At my age (67) it doesn't happen much anymore,

but when a woman tries to get a little too friendly with me, I just look her in the eye and say "My wife makes $150,000 a year." End of conversation. Every time.

My wife is retired now but at one time she did make that much.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:03 AM

5. In a public setting, He asked, was rebuffed and moved on.

This is a non story. (not so much with the office kiss however)

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Response to aeromanKC (Reply #5)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:24 AM

9. And the Titantic hit a small chunk of ice, a non story.

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Response to dem4decades (Reply #9)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:01 AM

25. So when there is an age difference in a relationship, its like thousands of people dying?

Wow. You sound open-minded.

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Response to aeromanKC (Reply #5)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:45 AM

50. No, he touched her bare back, and he put his hands on her face.

And according to her girlfriend, who was watching, he managed to kiss her on the cheek before she got away.

If you think this is okay, and non-sexual, and a non-story, then imagine him doing all this to a cute young guy he had just met, uninvited -- cupping his hands on his face and asking for a kiss. That wouldn't happen because Cuomo wasn't being just friendly -- he was being sexual. And he's straight.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:15 AM

7. Made men have yachts. That works for many older men I've heard.

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Response to Baked Potato (Reply #7)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:23 AM

18. That is the fucking post of the night

Tip of the hat

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Response to Baked Potato (Reply #7)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:59 AM

24. So your think that younger women are sluts when they date older men?

or did you mean something else?

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #24)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:38 AM

66. The insulting language around age gap relationships is always so gross

The younger woman must be a "slut" or "golddiger," and the older man (or woman) is a creepy predator. There are many, many loving and long-term marriages/relationships between folks with 20-40 years age difference. 'Good lord, just look at what folks day about Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson (32 years difference).

Hell, many folks even thing inter-generational FRIENDSHIPS are weird. I am an Old GenXer, and I have friends from 25 to 85.

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Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #66)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:13 AM

78. I'm sorry

But it's even grosser when proponents of May/December romances show up around discussions of harassment when it's unwanted. That really does nothing for your cause and I can't for the life of me understand how you and the Florida DUer can't see it. It has quite the opposite effect. Older people prey on younger people. It's a fact of life. It has nothing to do with any consensual relationships, and your defensiveness is not a good look for you.

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Response to kcr (Reply #78)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:56 PM

104. You Don't Believe

younger people prey on older people? How naÔve. This is the same mindset that had Monica Lewinsky being a victim of Bill Clinton. Yah right.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #24)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:14 AM

79. So you are saying

That a woman is a slut if she likes a guy with a yacht?

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Response to Karma13612 (Reply #79)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 11:37 AM

97. If that's the only reason, that would be the implication. nt

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #24)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:36 PM

103. No, I made light of a ridiculous OP.

The OP went straight to the sexual nature of ďolder men-younger women.Ē

I thought that was extremely sexist and immature. Why canít an older man desire a younger women for other than sex? What if it is just for companionship?

My yacht comment was just being real. Many wealthy older men get what they want, when they want. They donít need to go to the bathroom to jack off.

To deny that an older man with money canít attract a younger woman is not being real. It doesnít always have to involve sex. There is arm-candy involved in these relationships.

Also, older women like younger men too. An older woman with bucks could certainly attract a younger man. Especially for social functions, and again companionship.

And, of course, a relationship doesnít even have to involve money.

So, no Iím not implying younger women are sluts for dating older men. Or, vis versa.

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Response to Baked Potato (Reply #103)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 06:38 PM

106. Thank you for clarifying.

I apologize for my strong misinterpretation.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #106)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 06:49 PM

107. No problem, it's cool. I know it's a serious issue.

I have a daughter.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:16 AM

8. I'm 54 and been with the same woman for 33 years. She is now 60. And still hot!

Iím still a guy and find young girls attractive, but would never think to make an advance on one. I mean, like any girl in their 20ís is going to be attracted to a slightly overweight guy who could be her dad? Yeah, Iím good enough looking, educated and good socially, but it just feels sleazy to me.

I know people my age who have dumped their wife for much younger woman. All had money.

It took 3 decades for the wife to train me! Why would I want to go thru that again!

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Response to GulfCoast66 (Reply #8)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:56 AM

23. I am glad your outcome was better than mine

The one I lost is 61, now.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #23)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:36 AM

36. Sorry about that. I admit I hit the jackpot with my wife.

I was real young when when we stated dating and she was 6 years older. I knew to never get married before 25. Youíre really not an adult till that age. No one expected us to stick.

Got married after 6 years together and it has stuck. I love her dearly and she is my best friend.

It helps she is the best looking 60 year old ever. Better than many 35 year olds. But even if not I made a vow and am happy to honor it.

But even if single I just canít respect a man my age chasing young women. Seems unseemly to me. But Iíve seen plenty of it in my life. Trying to relive their youth maybe?

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Response to GulfCoast66 (Reply #36)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:39 AM

39. A great friend of mine was in his 60s. He was chased (and caught) by a woman in her 20s.

They have several children and are happy.


The heart wants what the heart wants.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #39)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:53 AM

55. Jesus! I can't imagine being around a 20 something all the time!

Not criticizing your friend, just speaking for myself.

Even though the wife is 6 years older than me, she will outlive me. Be Heaven forbid she does not, no way in hell Iím marrying a 20 something. They seem like kids to me. Even the smart, educated and most mature.

Weíve been successful, I still look pretty good and I donít doubt I could find a taker. But to me itís just to freaky. But that me. To each his own.

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Response to GulfCoast66 (Reply #55)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:42 AM

68. I'm similar to GoreFL's friend

It has nothing to so with anyone's looks or ages. The heart does want what it wants. People fall in love, people are best friends, with people many years older or younger than themselves. Society is very, very judgemental about intergenerational friendships and relationships. The judgey ones are who are gross.

A 28-year-old professional woman is not a kid.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:26 AM

10. My best explanation

Is they are unevolved human beings.

My experience in general is that humans aspire to holding elevated values and ethics but are all too quick to blame animal impulses when their sexual behavious is unacceptable and unwanted.

This is the dichotomy with which the Catholic church has wrestled for 1500 years. The same dichotomy that classifies women as virgin mothers or harlots.

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Response to canetoad (Reply #10)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:55 AM

22. Loving someone of a different age is unevolved.

Good to know...

I guess losing the love of my life because she was 6 years older and that was weird to her family is an awesome outcome by your account.

Thanks for your open-mindedness.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #22)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:29 AM

31. How did you come up with that conclusion

From what I wrote?

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Response to canetoad (Reply #31)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:29 AM

32. I stand corrected.

I re-read.

This OP enrages me. My apologies.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #32)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:34 AM

34. No worries buddy

Sometimes people express a good idea in bad words.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #32)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:43 AM

69. It does me, too

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:42 AM

11. Maybe I am weird , but-

I am 55 and I actually see 25 year old women as kids. Maybe that makes me weird. I feel bad for being attracted to women in their mid 40's. But I think 45 years old is a pretty hot age.

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Response to scuciti (Reply #11)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:53 AM

21. If someone in their 50s finds love with someone their 20s, is it wrong?

Consenting adults is a thing. My last two SO's were older, one significantly. The last woman I asked out was significantly younger, but we had a great rapport. She said no, and I accepted it. We are friends to this day, and she is in a relationship that I applaud.

This OP is shit.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:47 AM

13. Maybe because some say yes?

Last edited Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:45 AM - Edit history (1)

Attraction/love whatever isn't defined by age. I wanted to marry a woman six years my senior. She wanted to marry me. Her family convinced her she was wrong. I lost the love of my life.

Marriage, relationships, etc. are not always defined by age.

Was Pete Davidson wrong for dating a Kate Beckinsale? Is Leonardo DiCaprio wrong for dating Camila Morrone?

Why does this concern you? Why do you need to interject yourself into other people's love life?

On edit: Many minutes later, I cannot tell you how pissed off this makes me. I am glad you can judge my choices in loving someone older than me. I am glad you would be happy to judge me for loving someone younger than me. I can't tell you to fuck off enough.
God, this infuriates me. Seriously, who the fuck are you to arbitrate love?

And thank you so the fuck much for having me relive the biggest disappointment of my life.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #13)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:38 AM

86. 6 years is not that much

not like 20 or 30.

The OP only wondered why old men think girls are interested. I was once a young girl, and I agree, I could never have been interested while in my 20s in some man 40 or 50. Not in that way.

And while some cases could be real, most likely are like the Dump/Malaria relationship. Merely because she could not really have a real physical attraction.

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Response to treestar (Reply #86)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 07:53 PM

112. 25 years wasn't too much for me - A Gay Perspective

I met my first partner when I was 34 and he was 59. We fell in love. Age was never an issue to us. We both knew how our families would react (Mike was the same age as my mother; I found that funny, Mike, not so much...) and we didn't care. We were in love, and it showed. Both our families were fine with that.

We had 5 wonderful years together until cancer took him. I have absolutely no regrets and feel I am lucky for our time together.

I've always liked older men, even when I was 18. It was just a personal preference. I'm 56 now, and grew into the age group I preferred.

I met my second partner a couple of years after I lost Mike, and we fell for each other. Steve is only a year older than me. To me. it just goes to show that it's the person, not the age, that is the attraction.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:50 AM

14. Paul Newman said it.



I'm too lazy to look up the exact quote but he said something like ...
"Why go out for hamburger when you have Porterhouse at home?"

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Response to lpbk2713 (Reply #14)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 10:16 AM

88. That statement kind of grossed me out anyway


Like women were cows or something. I saw an interview with him and Joanne Woodward together and she was talking about their meeting or something and he didn't like it and Shushed her up. She was put in her place, like "be quiet woman". It looked like she had to get his permission to talk about something he found embarrassing but she found amusing.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:05 AM

15. Most younger women are not in interested in much older men

unless they are looking for financial security. Someone asked Melania if she married Trump for his money. She asked if they thought he would have married her if she didn't look the way she did. That's the trade off. He gets arm candy, she gets designer clothes.

But plenty, if not most, younger women have no interest in such a transactional relationship.

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Response to TexasBushwhacker (Reply #15)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:48 AM

19. Or, you know, maybe they actually love each other.

Don't try to add credence to this OP.

I "didn't experience it so it doesn't matter" is not a liberal thought pattern.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #19)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:35 AM

35. I think the OP is right. Why would some young woman he's just met

appreciate his hands on her bare back, and then his hands cupping her face and asking for a kiss?

What an ego he must have. YUK!!!!

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #35)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:37 AM

37. That wasn't the OP topic.

It was condemning age difference.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #37)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:38 AM

38. I bet if you ask the OP, it was Cuomo's egotistical behavior that he had in mind.

It's been all over the news for a couple days, as three different women have come forward to complain about him.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #38)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:40 AM

41. They didn't mention Cuomo.

They mentioned age difference.

Those are vastly different topics.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #38)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:41 AM

42. Maybe mention Cuomo then?

This OP is about age difference not about Cuomo.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #42)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:50 AM

53. Each of the women Cuomo thought might like his sexual flirtation was three or four decades younger.

So it's logical to wonder what gave him the idea that much younger women appreciate overtures like that from older men, instead of being repulsed by them.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #35)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:52 AM

72. The OP is snarking about age gap relationships

Not unwanted advances. You, like others in this thread, are conflating the two.

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Response to TexasBushwhacker (Reply #15)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:51 AM

71. So, all the younger women who marry older men or women are sugarbaby golddiggers?

Good lord. Epic fail.

You may think all age gap relationships are "transactional," but that is simply not true, and has been proven to not be true.

Good lord, this board sometimes.

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Response to TexasBushwhacker (Reply #15)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:33 AM

83. +1 in spite of their protestations

(I had a 50 something boss tell 20 something me how men have a longer shelf life) they age just as much, or worse, since they don't have the pressure women do.

No, they are not more attractive as they age, though they continually try to tell us this when we are younger, hoping they can attract someone with less experience and control her.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:22 AM

17. This will likely never be an issue for me.

I've been attracted to older women ever since I learned at around age six that boys were different from girls; and I liked the differences!

My first celebrity crush at that age was Karen Valentine.

Now that I'm in my fifties, my celebrity crush is Helen Mirren.

Any woman under the age of forty is a child, in my opinion.

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Response to Aristus (Reply #17)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 01:49 AM

20. Careful, apparently loving people of different ages is a terrible thing.

Because age is apparently very important in relationships on DU...

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Response to Aristus (Reply #17)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:20 AM

28. 'Any woman under the age of forty is a child, in my opinion.'

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Response to Celerity (Reply #28)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:22 AM

29. It's awesome to pass judgement, apparently.

Age difference is akin to rape, murder, genocide, etc. if you believe the posts on this thread.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #29)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:41 AM

43. I was going to track your responses

Back to the beginning, but it's too confusing. So I will jump in right here and now with my own story.

At age nineteen, I married a man who was 46. I'm not going to share the details here, but you are welcome to PM me and I will be truthful in my answers. I'm 66 now.The marriage lasted 8 years. Have at it.

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Response to canetoad (Reply #43)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:43 AM

46. I wish I had the chance to try out my relationship.

Sadly her family had the same ideas as the OP.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #29)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:51 AM

54. I was referring to the outrageously condescending and misogynistic labelling of us women in

our 20's and 30's as 'children'.

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Response to Aristus (Reply #17)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:54 AM

73. "Any woman under the age of forty is a child"

WTAF

You actually believe and wrote that.

WOW.

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Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #73)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:39 AM

87. I think he only meant he does not

find them attractive sexually.

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Response to treestar (Reply #87)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 10:41 AM

90. Yeah, but it was a bad choice of words.

I regret it.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:20 AM

27. HS girls

[link:|

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Response to Mendocino (Reply #27)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:49 PM

102. Hah, that's Matthew McConaughey talking, who's now 51

I wonder if he still feels the same way about high school girls?
Probably not.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:24 AM

30. K & R

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:34 AM

33. I was wondering the same thing. The EGO for men that age to think they're so appealing

that some beautiful woman 30 or 40 years younger won't be completely repulsed if they get "flirtatious" or handsy.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:39 AM

40. If this about Cuomo, why aren't things like this posted every time a Republican does it?

Cuomo is not even guilty of anything.
Why are Democrats always guilty before proven innocent?

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Response to C Moon (Reply #40)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:42 AM

44. Is it about Cuomo? The OP makes no mention.

They are simply condemning May/Dec relationships.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #44)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:43 AM

48. :/

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Response to C Moon (Reply #48)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:46 AM

51. Really?

:/ is the best you have? If the OP wanted to talk about Cuomo maybe they would have mentioned his name rather than condemning age difference in relationships.

Specificity matters. Frankly this one hits the fuck home for me. So be understanding, or fuck off.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #51)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 07:10 AM

64. I second the :/

You're coming off badly in this thread. It's not all about you.

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Response to kcr (Reply #64)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:55 AM

74. No, he isn't

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Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #74)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:24 AM

80. Yes, he is

This is a thread about older men harassing younger women. You know, because of Cuomo?

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Response to kcr (Reply #64)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:59 AM

76. Substitute race or gender for age in this OP.

And then tell me why it is OK.

And yo are right. It isn't all about me. The ageism is a blanket smear that covers a lot of people.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #76)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:07 AM

77. You seem to be the only one who doesn't get what this thread is about

Unless you're saying anti-sexual harassment is ageist and sexist.

I have an idea. Why don't you go and enjoy your young one. Be a chill ambassador for that lifestyle instead of defending a sexual harasser.

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Response to kcr (Reply #77)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 11:36 AM

96. Where did I defend sexual harrasssment?

Don't be an idiot.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #96)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 11:40 AM

99. This is a thread about sexual harassment

What does your consensual relationship have to do with it? Why do we have to pretend that sexual harassment doesn't exist in order for you to be happy and secure in yours? If that's the case, then maybe it isn't what you think it is?

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Response to kcr (Reply #99)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 06:36 PM

105. No it's not.

It's a thread about age difference. Did you read the op ed, or did you just come here to snipe?

Please back up your accusation or apologize.

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Response to Gore1FL (Reply #105)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 06:53 PM

108. Context is difficult to see when it's inconvenient.

Even when it's blindingly obvious, we often feel the need to ignore it in order to better advertise how righteous we ourselves are.

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Response to LanternWaste (Reply #108)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 07:14 PM

109. Let me block quote the OP.

The OP:
Why do so many older men get the hots for some pretty young woman, and then think their feelings would reciprocated by said woman young enough to be their daughter, niece or granddaughter?

You get aroused, fine. You need to take your arousal into the closest bathroom, and masturbate it away. I guess many men never get and accept the message that because they get an erection, some woman is NOT obligated to relieve them.


Not about harassment. It's about making a judgement concerning age, and apparently masturbating.

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Response to C Moon (Reply #40)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:47 AM

52. Did you see the picture of the woman today with his hands holding her face?

She was the 3rd woman to say he was making her uncomfortable, but she didn't need to say it. Anyone could see it.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #52)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 04:12 AM

61. The photo has issues.

I can see four alterations already. And as I expected, the source is choosing to remain anonymous.

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Response to Cetacea (Reply #61)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 05:24 AM

62. Anna Ruch isn't anonymous, and she's a Democrat and a former Biden campaign staffer.

And the reporter also saw texts sent right after this happened, and other photos.

I see no reason to believe him at this point. He's even admitted, with regard to the other women, that he might have said inappropriate things.

Just because the R's let men get away with anything doesn't give a Democrat a free pass.

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Response to C Moon (Reply #40)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:26 AM

65. Madison Cawthorn has 4 women accusing him of sexual assault

150 women from his college signed a letter denouncing his Congressional run.

Those facts, plus his resume lies, came out in the news this weekend and.... crickets

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:43 AM

47. Women lose their hormones - men don't.

IMO that's why men often feel the need to turn to a younger woman. Basically, his woman/wife has become menopausal and no longer thinks of him the way he would like her to. So, he goes out and gets someone 'young and stupid'. Make sense?

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Response to Talitha (Reply #47)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 05:27 AM

63. Young women aren't there for older men to use because their wives aren't interested.

And this young woman had ZERO interest in him, which he'd have realized if he had the tiniest bit of sensitivity.

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Response to Talitha (Reply #47)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:56 AM

75. lol that is a MYTH

Women have the same interest in sex at 75 as they do at 35. MEN lose sex drive.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:45 AM

49. Many years ago... in the 90s

I Infoseeked (pre-Google) "Hispanic Latin Women" because my grad school's Hispanic Student Association was going to focus on them for the upcoming Hispanic Heritage Month events. First I learned the importance of making my searches more specific, but I also ran across a webpage for a Latin Women Listserv (for those who have forgotten or are too young - a listserv was basically an email list centered around a topic you could sign up for where all the emails from members were put together into a nice digest once a day). I joined for kicks because most of the members were conservative, older men (40s and up) who legitimately believed they were owed hot, submissive wives, felt American women were ruined by society (and weren't keen on Mexicans since they were so close to America), and were focusing mainly on Colombia, which had a lot of dating services for American men. It was quite an eye-opener into entitlement. None of them could speak Spanish, knew anything about the culture, and a lot were also on the Russian Women listserv for the same reasons with the same handicaps (couldn't speak Russian, etc). I admit I trolled* them a bit in my spare time. The listserv owner actually thanked me because he thought I was a positive influence - so much for trolling - because I would say things like you need to be interested in the culture to actually show potential partners that you value them as people and not just status symbols. I was actually jeered by some members for that.

*The best troll was when I had a bi friend of mine join as a woman looking for a Latin bride. I would send her details about a part of Mexico I used to know very well (Oaxaca), and she would fashion a story about going there and meeting a woman (Guadalupe). Oh, the howls of indignation that there was THAT kind of person on the listserv, and even worse, she was having SUCCESS! It ended up with Lupe moving to Seattle and their having a commitment ceremony... which just made the howls louder from half the list.

TlalocW

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 02:53 AM

56. It isn't really about having the hots for them, I don't think.

I had enough horrible bosses to think that it's really all about power and ego. The more powerful they get, the more they expect people to do whatever they want and the more people that do, the more they expect it. Until they wind up being old, hideous men who are still hitting on girls in their 20's who have no idea what to do when the boss is acting like that. Or at least we didn't when I was young; there were no laws, there was no HR department, there was nothing but quit, try to avoid him, or play along and hope like hell he's just flirting and he won't go any further. Meanwhile, he's so used to getting his way every single minute in every aspect of his life that he never considers that his feelings aren't all that matter.

They're shocked when someone says no to them, the same way a guy in a bar once said to me in the early 80's - "but I'm Englebert's road manager" as if that was some kind of way to make me go upstairs. He was shocked that being sent by some rich old man to get my friend and me to come upstairs to "meet" Englebert wasn't some magic phrase that always worked and he seemed actually surprised that I was laughing at him. They're so used to people saying yes that it never enters their mind that someone might not.

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Response to Jerryatric (Reply #56)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 03:38 AM

57. It is absolutely about power

He doesn't get handsy with a woman that's 50 because she might slap his face. He doesn't suggest playing strip poker with a woman 5 years younger than him because there's a good chance she'll laugh in his face.

He does these things to much younger women because he knows being groped or flirted with by a man old enough to be their father catches them off guard and they don't know how to respond. He gets his jollies at their expense. When it's a young woman at a wedding, it's inappropriate. When it's an employee, it's sexual harassment and that's against the law.

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Response to TexasBushwhacker (Reply #57)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 04:08 AM

60. Exactly. When I think back now on some of the bosses I had

and some of the things they did, I'm shocked at my own self for putting up with them. When I was young and had no clue and there was nowhere to go for help, I put up with a lot that I wouldn't now. I'm so glad that young women, at least some of them, are having it a little easier than I did, but there is still a long way to go.

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Response to Jerryatric (Reply #60)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 10:37 AM

89. And you need the job.

That makes young women vulnerable.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:40 AM

67. I see it in Florida. There are a lot of older women who need financial support. I saw someone

I once respected sidle up to my recently widowed father. Gross. But, these were older women. It might be a generational thing that older men do not realize, will not resonate with a younger generation.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 08:48 AM

70. To paraphrase Chauncey Gardener: I like to look.

I don't want to work any harder than that. It takes way too much energy to deal with someone who is that young.

I want the cultural references I make to resonate with the person I'm talking to. Hell, Mrs GoS is 12 years younger than I am, and after 40 years together, she still doesn't get some stuff. That being said, I don't get some of her references either as I didn't watch the same shows or listen to the same music.

But I do like to look.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:29 AM

81. It symbolizes power

It's just old fashioned sexism. Men are attractive when they have power, and women only because of beauty that is greatest in their 20s. Shallow-ish people who are impressed by these things only.

You'll see incels complain that the women only want the men with money. They don't have it. Their real complaint is their lack of power.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:33 AM

82. This is a separate concept, imo.

Expressing interest in another adult? Ok... Let people live.

Being inappropriate with your subordinate in a professional environment when there is a massive power difference, and itís obvious that the one with all the power doesnít give a shit about their targetís feelings? Absolutely not okay!

To answer the OP in this context, itís about control. Cuomo isnít just an older man interested in younger women. Heís an asshole who abused his power, and tried to bully his subordinate into meeting his selfish needs. Older men are attracted to younger women, but consider their feelings. Cuomo is an entitled asshole who canít be told no.

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Response to Oneironaut (Reply #82)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:38 AM

85. I think the OP WAS talking about the same concept

They may not have been entirely clear, but the part about the men feeling women were obligated to reciprocate? That part maybe should have been in the beginning to make it more clear they're talking about predators like Cuomo.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 09:37 AM

84. It is a thin line between old man and dirty old man

There isnt much difference between being an old man and the point when one becomes a dirty old man. Some like to walk that thin and dangerous line, not realizing that it is those watching us who have the power to make the call, not ourselves.
That being said, where is the temptation? Remember- no act of philanthropy goes unpunished, someone will always fault your decisions. Are you doing it for her? Are you really trying to help? Or is it maybe just for oneself, all for oneself? A little for oneself?
For those who can take an objective look, go somewhere and watch for someone like yourself doing the same thing. What are your first thoughts?

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 10:43 AM

91. Grow up!

It's called growing up. By the time you're in your 60s you should be mature enough to control yourself.

Heck, in my late 40s and there is zero temptation for me because you know what? I'm an adult. I have control over myself and would never consider being a creep or exerting pressure over those I have authority over.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 10:49 AM

92. Well, attraction is attraction

It is healthy as long as the person someone is attracted to is of legal age. Even in my 40s however I would be wary of actually initiating something with a woman in her 20s if I did not know her enough.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 10:54 AM

93. Please allow me to apologize.

When I said above that I thought of women under forty as 'children', it was not meant in a paternalistic way. Only that I don't find them old enough to be sexually attractive.

It was a bad choice of words, and I apologize for the offense I caused.

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 11:05 AM

94. My hubby is 9 MONTHS younger than me. I call him my boy toy😊😊😊

It makes me feel like a 75 year old goddess. The 3 months we are the same age, I just feel like two old farts.....😎

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Response to MicaelS (Original post)

Tue Mar 2, 2021, 12:36 PM

101. Money and power.

Itís not really that complicated.

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