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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsJosh Hawley Seeks to Overturn Results of CPAC Straw Poll
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)A furious Josh Hawley announced on Monday that he would attempt to overturn the results of last weekends cpac straw poll, which showed him to be the choice of only three per cent of attendees.
Claiming that there was widespread fraud in the way that the straw poll was conducted, he demanded urgent action to stop the steal.
If cpac does not immediately halt the certification of its straw-poll results, people will lose faith in cpac as one of our nations sacred institutions, the Missouri senator said.
Asked to provide evidence of straw-poll fraud, Hawley said, There was a really cool photo of me pumping my fist in the air that everybody saw. That should be worth way more than three per cent.
Responding to the senators demands, cpac conducted a thorough recount of its straw poll, and found that Hawley had actually received two per cent.
Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/josh-hawley-seeks-to-overturn-results-of-cpac-straw-poll
Photograph by Francis Chung / E&E News / Politico / AP
LetMyPeopleVote
(145,225 posts)Sur Zobra
(3,428 posts)This guy deserves all the ridicule that the world has to offer
brer cat
(24,565 posts)I'm glad they have Hawley in their sight.