Whore of the Cultural Wars! . . . Please come CAPTION Tucker Carlson!!!!

[skip fox]

Tucker ("I'm worried I left my flame-thrower on at home" ) Carlson is saying: "And now these leftest so-called child protectors say they are worried about negative representations of minority groups in a series of children's books instead of really worrying about child molesters who can't think of anything but children to molest, and harm, and keep down in the basement, and things to do with them. . . . It's so disgusting I can barely think about it, and I don't think about it when I can help it, when it's not keeping me up nights, or polluting my dreams, or slapping me in the face midday when I least expect it, or playing inb the background almost all the time, and getting louder and louder and louder. . . . I'm telling you here and now: these people are twisted!"


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(All CAPTIONs at DU are satire in the spirit of SNL and Jonathan Swift.)

[Drum]

1. Tucker's coiffure...

[skip fox]

2. T.C continues:

"Having created some of favorite texts of our time, Dr. Seuss, or Theodor Seuss Geisel, can be considered as a great American figure, like Abraham Lincoln, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and (need I say it?) like me!"

[Shermann]

3. "Maybe if we can spare the kids today from reading this trash, they won't turn out like me!"

[skip fox]

4. T.C. continues:

"These left wing nut jobs want to cancel our country's Shakespeare!"