Texans Nostalgic for Wisdom of Rick Perry

[speak easy]

TEXAS (The Borowitz Report)—Texans are “desperately nostalgic” for the wisdom of their former governor Rick Perry, a new poll shows.

From Houston to Lubbock, Texans said that Perry’s excellent judgment, sound decision-making, and sheer brainpower were sorely missed in the Lone Star State.

“I can’t tell you how many times over the past few days I’ve said to myself, ‘This wouldn’t be happening if Rick Perry were governor,’ ” Tracy Klugian, who lives in Houston, said. “That man had a mind like a steel trap.”

“To be honest, I didn’t appreciate Rick Perry’s mental sharpness and exacting attention to detail when he was governor,” Harland Dorrinson, a resident of Waco, said. “I guess sometimes you don’t really appreciate special people until they’re gone.”

Carol Foyler, of Galveston, said that nostalgia for the former governor is at an all-time high. “Everyone I know is thinking the same thing right now,” she said. “What would Rick Perry do?”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/texans-nostalgic-for-wisdom-of-rick-perry

[northoftheborder]

1. Ann Richards was the last intelligent governor.

[efhmc]

3. Funny, especially the steel trap comment.

[speak easy]

4. "Everyone I know is thinking ...What would Rick Perry do?"

[oasis]

7. More like "steal" trap.

[Stallion]

5. Adios MoFo

why couldn't Ted Cruz come up with a witty comeback after getting caught in embarrassing Cancun trip-because he's no Rick Perry either-a real hombre de pueblo

[lastlib]

6. Good Lord---might Dubya be next??

Goodhair DID have a mind like a steel trap--with the spring rusted.....

Gotta love Borowitz!