"I did X/was Xed when I was a kid and it didn't do me any harm."

[meadowlander]

Here's the thing. If you were spanked as a kid, it did do you harm. How do I know that? Because you're taking time out of your day to defend hitting kids.

Just because you didn't turn into a serial killer or end up institutionalized in one way or another, doesn't mean that what you experienced had no impact on you. It normalized that behaviour in your mind to the extent that you are now willing to defend it notwithstanding decades of research that shows pretty definitively that it's bad for kids.

So you watched rapey cartoons and read racist books when you were a kid? Did it harm you? Yes... if you're sitting there saying "that rapey behaviour isn't really rapey" or "come on, it's fine because the rest of the cartoon is funny" or "this book is a classic so I'm just going to ignore the terrible bits" you were harmed. If you can't understand why depicting black people like monkeys or Chinese people with squinty eyes and long pigtails is racist, you were harmed.

I know nobody likes to think that they are a victim or that their parents and teachers and favorite authors made mistakes but that doesn't change the fact that some of the things you were exposed to as a kid didn't prepare you well to live in the 21st century.

You can't change the past. But you can choose how you respond to it now. You can plug your eyes and ears and scream "I'm fine, I'm fine, it's fine because it didn't turn me into a child-beater/rapist/hate-crime perpetrator, etc." or you can say "you know, objectively, that cultural relic isn't great for reasons I can understand and acknowledge and I'm going to do better by my kids/future generations".

You can do that by either not exposing them to it or by providing suitable context and discussion to help them really understand the problematic parts.

It's not like there's a worldwide shortage of suitable content for kids. If anything, the challenge is narrowing it down to the best of the best. Let's do that instead of tearing our hair out about kids potentially not watching eighty year old cartoons that we happen to be nostalgic for.

[Rustyeye77]

1. Wow... just wow

nt

[Elessar Zappa]

2. Excellent post.

You put into words my thoughts on the issue.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

3. K & R!

[Skittles]

4. I hear you

I tried to explain it to an acquaintance of mine who is whining about Dr. Seuss.......as a child in England I had a golliwog, and I LOVED that doll. Now do I think I was racist as a six year old? NO. But do I understand why those dolls are no longer popular? Why they were / are seen as demeaning? YES. It's like, GROW THE FUCK UP ALREADY if you cannot understand this stuff. TRY TO THINK OUTSIDE OF YOUR BUBBLE.

[obamanut2012]

5. If it's illegal to do to an adult, it should be illegal to do to a kid

MOst EU countries make it illegal to assault your child.

[mcar]

6. I bow to no one in my love of Looney Tunes cartoons

Everything I know about classical music, I learned from Bugs Bunny.

That said, these cartoons were made in a different time. Some of the Bugs episodes are inappropriate now.

Pepe LePew always made me laugh, but even as a girl in the 60s, it was an uncomfortable laugh.

[Nictuku]

7. I thought this post was about ecstasy (X)

And while I would never support giving any kind of drugs to kids... I did it to myself when I was 18, and I think it actually really really helped my view on Life and People and Relationships. It opened my heart up to Love.

Those were the days....... (70s-80s)

And after reading your post, I agree with you 100%. Even just harsh words can effect a young person their whole life.

My mom said something once to me, in anger (probably because I took X)... just kidding, but those words stung, I will never forget them. She didn't mean it, we talked about it years later. But still, today, 40 years later I still can hear them.

She told me I was a mistake.

When she learned that I harbored this all these years, she cried with me about it. She said it in anger, didn't mean it, she felt terrible about it (even it probably is true), it is just something that should never be said to a child.

As for hitting me, my mom was a peace-loving sky-diving hippy. She didn't hit me. Except once, when I was around 15. She slapped my face when I was mouthing of to her. (I deserved it. I was an unruly teenager). I could tell she regretted it right away, and I regretted my words as well.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

8. K&R

[abqtommy]

9. After much thought and reflection I've decided that enduring the birthing process causes

PTSD in all of us. And it's all downhill from there. That kinda puts things in perspective
for me.

[Tink41]

10. Totally agree!

I'm coming to terms with how Ive been shaped by what was thought of "normal" accepted behavior, language, actions.
It was my adult daughter who pointed out in High School how creepy "Baby it's Cold Outside" is. I never really listened to the words until she pointed it out. It is insanity that these things were perfectly fine and acceptable.

[Tree-Hugger]

11. K & R