Remembering a Dear Abby or Ann Landers column.

[Baitball Blogger]

A DU post this morning stirred my memory of terrible advice I once read on one of their columns. This was back in the nineties. It set the short hairs on the back of my neck aflame. The inquiry was written by a black mother, or someone in her family, who was asking about the color of her child. Note that this was a child born in a family of two black parents. But the child was darker than either parent. So the poor mom received a lot of flak. Abby or her sister gave the worst advice I have ever heard. She said that children's skin color would fall within the range of both parents, but could not inherit a darker gene.

I remember empathizing with that mom, because similar questions were asked about my son when his pediatrician predicted he would be six feet tall. Well, his father wasn't six feet tall, and my son had my coloring and didn't look much like his father. And it would be that way until he became an adult. And, it turns out the pediatrician was wrong. My son and husband are exactly the same height. And of course, there are the Ancestry DNA tests. My daughter took one and had a good laugh when it turns out her genes are stronger to her father's ancestry, than it is to mine. She had appendicitis one year, which is definitely a family trait on my side, and after all the worrying was over I told her that she found the one genetic trait she inherited from me, and promptly had it removed. Oh, how we laughed.

Anyway, point is, there is so much ignorance out there, and the only way to break through it is to talk about it. It's not alright for ignorance to have a public venue, while the rest of us are required to suffer in silence.

[FM123]

1. Yes.

"It's not alright for ignorance to have a public venue, while the rest of us are required to suffer in silence."

[Ron Obvious]

2. Do you remember what year that column was?

That was indeed pretty ignorant of basic genetics.

I daresay the average person thinks kids average their parents' traits but if that were the case, we'd have all started looking exactly alike a long time ago.

ETA: Sorry, you said the nineties. That's very ignorant indeed.

[Baitball Blogger]

3. It would have been around 92-94.

And the paper probably was the St. Pete Times.

[Hortensis]

9. Wow. I'm a little shocked that anyone in that position would throw

that kind of bomb into a family regardless of whether the science was correct or incorrect, no matter how advanced the level of knowledge at the time. The kind of dust that could stir up is contrary to what social/family advice columns are supposed to be about.

I'm also wondering that this columnist felt herself qualified to give any but the most sensible and benign advice on this topic. Someone did write in for advice, though.

[AndyS]

4. Recent events highlighted by Megan and Harry's experience with

'how dark will he be' brings to light the depth, breadth and height of our ignorance expressed as racism.

It's not just skin color but how dark is the skin color. This is just sick on so many levels.

It makes me so ashamed.

[Baitball Blogger]

5. They know. Just by asking, they're confirming what we already know.

They know that racism exists, and doors are held wide open for people who can pass the Albus test.

[Cracklin Charlie]

6. It's just so dumb.

Were the royals gonna hold a color chart up to the baby? What actual difference would his skin color have made to their royal lives?

As if everyone’s genetics weren’t all mixed up. Wastes my time.

[Beringia]

7. I saw Ann Landers and Mike Royko when I was a bicycle messenger in Chicago

Royko got into big trouble with the Hispanic community for using stereotypes. But he used stereotypes for whites too. He used Slats Grobnik, a comically stereotyped working class Polish-Chicagoan.

[AwakeAtLast]

8. Discussions like this always remind me of this book:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/327904/life-on-the-color-line-by-gregory-howard-williams/

Life on the Color Line
THE TRUE STORY OF A WHITE BOY WHO DISCOVERED HE WAS BLACK
By Gregory Howard Williams

I lived in Muncie, IN, for awhile and know exactly which part of town he lived in. It is still separated by a train bridge. It is very clear which side is which.

I remember watching him on Oprah when his book came out. Everyone should read it!

[crickets]

10. Wow, what an amazing story. Thanks for the link. nt

[AwakeAtLast]

11. You're welcome!

[Baitball Blogger]

12. Many of us go through that stage, thinking we're white.

Thanks for the link. I'll definitely read it.

[AwakeAtLast]

13. I need to read it again

With 2021-BLM-George Floyd eyes