"Not all men"

[demmiblue]

Link to tweet

[PatSeg]

1. Kind of like "Its not all cops"

when no one said it is, but it sure would help if all cops acknowledged that some are abusive and violent.

[Dr. Strange]

2. Or "not all priests" when it comes to the church abuse scandal.

Or "not all Muslims" when it comes to terrorism.

Etc etc ad infinitum...

[PatSeg]

13. Yes, the list can go on and on

[treestar]

3. Some men just want to say they are not guilty

Just put some men instead of just saying "men" and expecting that to be understood.

[demmiblue]

5. Lol!

[LizBeth]

7. They want to say they are not guilty they can equally say... I agree and it is an issue men have to

address amongst ourselves and about all know that man supports women, not part of the problem but the solution. Minimizing "some" men allows outs, and we do not need to minimize the issue.

[brer cat]

8. !!!

[treestar]

9. I doubt one man feels responsible for another

and what they do. Would you be willing to be judged like that? It just adds to bigotry to create a new class of people who are all alike.

[LizBeth]

10. That is too bad they feel they do not have a role. I do with whites. I do with Christians and feel

an obligation and responsibility to address it with fellow whites and Christians to the extent that even if I just stay silence I feel I failed, in simple humanity.

So, I disagree with you.

[ariadne0614]

11. +1 n/t

[treestar]

14. But then not every white or Christian

agrees with you - that's the point, you don't have a monolith either way.

[LizBeth]

16. When a white is being racist to a black, I do not really care if that white agrees with me, I

am going to call it out loud. Then other whites may feel more embolden. But, I am not arguing this with you because we see so very very differently. Though, I bet this will allow some to be more emboldened to call it out. Hence, my need to reply to your post at all.

[qwlauren35]

4. Hmmm...

I personally believe that there are more men who think about it than anyone cares to admit. That they stop themselves is noble. But we have not taught men that there needs to be a paradigm shift such that they wouldn't think about it at all, that it wouldn't occur to them, that they wouldn't want to, not out of "respect", but out of equality. If you wouldn't consider doing it to a man, you wouldn't consider doing it to a woman, because you wouldn't consider doing it to any human being.

"It"...

Expecting random women to make themselves attractive to men.
Considering whether a random woman would be fun/nice in bed.
Considering whether a woman in attractive clothing would be fun/nice in bed.
Asking a woman you don't know to consider sleeping with you.
Touching a woman who has not invited you to either verbally, or by taking your hand and moving it to a specific place.
Kissing a woman who has not puckered first or verbally invited you to.
Having sex with a woman who has not invited you to verbally with "yes" or "I want you to". (Not just "no" )

Now - this then requires that women make the first move, and we have to teach women that it is perfectly okay to say yes, if this is what they want, that there is no shame, no concern, no repercussions.

So, in addition - men should not brag about having sex with specific women. Men should not suggest that someone else should have sex with a woman that they have had sex with. Men should not "pass around" a woman. Men should never run a train on a woman, unless she offers first. Men should not judge a woman because she has sex. And men should never, ever decide that a woman who has had sex before them is someone they would not want to marry.

I'm sure I could come up with more.

[Silent3]

6. When it comes to merely thinking about some things...

...I suspect that part of the stuff on your list isn't cultural baggage, but biology, such as "Considering whether a random woman would be fun/nice in bed".

Except for the detail of a physical bed, which certainly isn't an element of instinctual behavior, considering the sexual possibilities of members of the opposite sex, or for some people, of the same sex, is going to happen automatically sometimes.

Maybe you could train people out of that, perhaps by some sort of nasty aversion therapy, but that wouldn't be a good thing to do to anyone even if you could.

[ariadne0614]

12. +1 n/t

[treestar]

15. Women are very conditioned that they are not to make the first move

"throwing herself at him" is a negative statement often made.

Being called a "slut" for initiating or even doing anything at all.

I do think women are just as capable of thinking men should be attractive. Or considering whether they'd be "fun in bed."

That women have to be "pretty" is countered with women prefer men with money. Those restricted roles are lessening, one would hope. The older of us though are conditioned. To prefer a stable man, just as they prefer a pretty woman.