'At Least They Don't Know About My Leaking, Prolapsed Anus,' Thinks Devin Nunes Filing Lawsuit...

[Nevilledog]

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Mystery Solvent
@MysterySolvent
·
Mar 18, 2021
What do you think Devin Nunes is doing tonight?
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Just a Shiba Inu Dog🇺🇸now with extra Patriotism
@EnglishJulinDog
He's probably hoping people aren't re-tweeeting The Onion story about his leaking, prolapsed anus, while betraying the nation and also harassing @DevinCow & @NunesAlt.
#DevinNunesHasALeakingAnus

‘At Least They Don’t Know About My Leaking, Prolapsed Anus,’ Thinks Devin Nunes Filing Lawsuit...
WASHINGTON—Privately expressing his relief that the situation was better than it could have been, Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) reportedly took a moment Wednesday to reflect that at least the Twitter users...
politics.theonion.com
9:32 PM · Mar 18, 2021

https://politics.theonion.com/at-least-they-don-t-know-about-my-leaking-prolapsed-a-1838921227

WASHINGTON—Privately expressing his relief that the situation was better than it could have been, Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) reportedly took a moment Wednesday to reflect that at least the Twitter users he was suing for mocking him didn’t know about his leaking, prolapsed anus. “These people were really mean to me when they were just critiquing my public statements and voting record, so I can just imagine the sort of field day they’d be having if they found out that my rectum is telescoped out past my anus, resulting in a constant flow of fecal matter dribbling down my leg at all times,” thought the congressman, acknowledging that if social media users discovered that he had previously worn a diaper but had stopped because it only ended up overflowing in a matter of hours, he’d likely never hear the end of it. “To be honest, I’m also pretty fortunate that no one has sussed out the fact that the only way for me to achieve sexual satisfaction is to ejaculate into a bowl of clam chowder and feed it to an unwitting victim while filming the whole thing. That would be mighty embarrassing, to say nothing of me owning the country’s largest collection of frozen condoms full of shit. And the worst part is, I’d have no legal standing to sue if any of this came out since all of this is 100% the God’s honest truth.” At press time, Nunes had decided to cheer himself up about his tapeworm-infested scrotum by buying himself a new child bride.

*the end*

It's The Onion!

[Hugh_Lebowski]

1. Reminds me of Jerry Falwell Talks about His First Time ...

Only grosser

[NurseJackie]

6. Classic.

[Marcuse]

2. "At least they don't know about my..."

[Duppers]

5. Love it!

😂

[Judi Lynn]

3. This is such an inspiring article. Everyone should read it! Thanks. 🐂 ❤️️

[Duppers]

4. LOL! 😂

Catch my breath, laugh some more. Love this thread.