BROKEN: Trump Scuttles Social Media Site Plans - Makes Deal for Existing Site

[MineralMan]

Former POTUS Acquires Conservative Cave for New Social Media Venue

by
franksolich

Somewhere, NE, March 22, 2021

After an abortive effort to create a massive new social media site, Donald J. Trump has fired the founder of FreeRepublic, who was hired in a massive 4-figure deal to design his new venture into the world of social media forums. Apparently a conflict developed over the design format that was proposed, which Trump thought was too "modern-looking."

Now, Trump has turned to a new concept, and will buy a site that is already up and running much of the time. He is purchasing the existing website, ConservativeCave.com, which is already in operation, and will rename it to become Twitler.com. The price for the purchase of the website, based on its existing base of conservative members, is rumored to be approximately $6387.56.

According to social media experts familiar with the matter, the site will retain its existing forums and sections, but will expand miraculously to accommodate the millions upon millions of supporters expected to flood the venue immediately. The current owner of the hard-to-find website said, anonymously, "Well, that happened. I'm looking forward to paying some bills and retiring."

The launch date has not been set for the new Twitler.com social media venue.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

1. LOL

[TheBlackAdder]

30. ConservativeCave, a place where all MAGAts cram their heads up their asses.

[hlthe2b]

2. I knew it had to be satire when I read "hired the founder of Free REPUBLIC"---lol

But, he may as well.

[leftieNanner]

12. "massive 4 figure deal"

was another tell.

Since #45 is always the best at everything, why can't he just write the code himself and create the website from scratch?

[BobTheSubgenius]

18. That got me, too! Hilarious touch.

That was also what cemented the fact that it was satire. I just wonder what Drumpf is going to say to his masses to drum up the needed capital. Nudging a heady $7000!!!

[marble falls]

3. Almost looked for a link.

[Pantagruel]

4. "a massive 4-figure deal"

somehow sounded oddly like Borowitz.

[lagomorph777]

7. I was totally believing it!

[MineralMan]

10. That hack?!

[hurple]

5. How sad it it

That I got about halfway through this before I realized it's a joke article.

[madinmaryland]

6. That will be an upgrade for RimJob...

He will now have a coked up Don Jr running the hamster wheel.

[SergeStorms]

26. If it was too modern for Trump...

RimJob didn't create it. "That Site" is the most archaic, backward, and just plain shitty site on the web. How freepers can keep contributing money to those grifters, and not expect any upgrades over the years, is beyond me.

[genxlib]

8. You joke

But I am on record as predicting that he will take over OAN or Newsmax as rebrand as Trump TV.

It is a win-win for them. Trump gets the outlet he wants without investing a bit of money or sweat equity. And the little known network gets a huge boost in name recognition.

You heard it here first.

[MineralMan]

9. He. Has. No. Money.

He can't even fix his TrumpJet 757.

He. Is. Broke.

[leftieNanner]

13. He has LESS than no money

That half-a-billion dollar debt is still out there.

[genxlib]

16. I am not suggesting he will buy either one

I think he will loan them (or even rent him) his name for the attention that having a network will give him. That is primarily the reason I think it will happen. He doesn't have the money or the smarts to start his own.

All he needs is a sucker that already owns one.

[SergeStorms]

27. "Trump brand" social media.

He'll just franchise his name, again, to a shitty platform that will crash constantly and will do nothing but piss off his remaining cult members. One more grift in the neverending series of shitty grifts from TrumpCo.

[jaxexpat]

22. And in addition to the capital thingy, NO ONE with assets will allow him any control over them.

There will never exist a conservative political hub of which he is the center. He is a dark hole where everything that goes in with actual value gets miraculously and eternally degraded to worthless.

Fortunately for us the last entity that invested in his brand was the QOP. I can hardly wait until the next election.

[Grasswire2]

11. oh god

LOLOLOLOL

Hilarious.

Morans.

[HipChick]

14. Well done..

[MineralMan]

17. Thanks!

[Karma13612]

15. Good one!

Ya had me goin’ there for a bit!!!

The “four figure deal ” did get me curious but I figured, nah...keep going. Get the whole scoop!

[grantcart]

19. Well done sir. Too bad you had to attach the sarcasm tag.

"Massive 4 figure deal"

Probably promised to pay with a future imaginary bit coin

[MineralMan]

20. Between the BROKEN: heading

and the :sarcasm" tag, I still get people now and then who miss that it's satire. I try to leave plenty of clues, anyhow.

[niyad]

21. I salute you, MM. Took me two whole seconds to realize it was satire. Well done, indeed!

[erronis]

23. Dovetails nicely with this piece from WaPo: Trump considers adding a social media network

Trump considers adding a social media network to his list of failures
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/03/22/trump-considers-adding-social-media-network-his-list-failures/

Donald Trump is a man adrift — out of power, without his Twitter account, and watching as his influence over the Republican Party begins a slow and steady decline. So what’s a former president to do? This, apparently:

A top Trump adviser confirmed the former president is building his own social network after major tech companies suspended his accounts in the fallout of the Jan. 6 Capitol attacks.
“I do think that we’re going to see President Trump returning to social media in probably about two or three months here, with his own platform,” Trump senior adviser Jason Miller told Fox News on Sunday. “And this is something that I think will be the hottest ticket in social media, it’s going to completely redefine the game, and everybody is going to be waiting and watching to see what exactly President Trump does.”

It’s of course possible that Trumpbook, or Trmpr, or whatever it might be called, will turn out to be as much a figment of the imagination as the spectacular health-care plan Trump kept promising as president. But let’s assume for the moment that this actually comes to pass.

I for one look forward to watching it fail miserably.

...

So maybe his ambitions are modest. Rather than starting a platform that will succeed so spectacularly it will drive Twitter out of business and restore Trump to gold-plated glory, he may just want to grab whatever he can get while he can. A bottom-feeding operation meant to squeeze as much money as possible from his most gullible supporters would be completely in character.

He can put it alongside Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, the Tour de Trump, and all the other genius ideas that he milked for a few bucks before they crashed and burned. It’s no consolation for the real damage he did in lives, suffering and the debasement of our nation’s politics, but at least we’ll have another reason to laugh at him a little.

[japple]

33. tRumperRoom! It's for 4-yr olds and tRUMPERs.

[TxGuitar]

24. Well crap.

I used to own a URL called ConservativeFringe.com thinking I could get people to buy a subscription to post on forums (this was 20 years ago). Wish I still had it, maybe somebody would buy it!

[IA8IT]

25. I started laughing when I saw "by franksolich"

[monkeyman1]

28. wait till it's reported or comes across as " spam "

[ailsagirl]

29. LOL x 1,000,000,000,000

[lunatica]

31. Can't he revive the chat room thing?

[MineralMan]

32. Great idea!