General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsDo you personally know someone who was killed by a gun?
Not just mass shootings, but robberies, assaults, domestic violence, accidents, and suicides too.
Guns of all stripes and sizes kill so many Americans a year it is truly mind boggling that we just shrug and ignore it like its normal.
IT IS NOT NORMAL.
There are hundreds of other countries on this planet that dont have this scourge.
I feel like I am a statistical Anomaly and do not know anyone killed by a firearm.
So if you have known someone killed by a gun in any form please share your story.
dameatball
(7,380 posts)tulipsandroses
(5,094 posts)Its been 29 years since my son's dad was murdered, every now and then it hits me, and I still tear up.
Demsrule86
(68,352 posts)SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)I am so sorry.
Thank you for sharing this here.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Thank you for sharing this.
SoCalDavidS
(9,998 posts)A friend from High School who stayed a friend into my 40's.
She killed her boyfriend, then turned the gun on herself.
I read about it in the paper shortly after it happened.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Thank you for sharing this.
Bluethroughu
(5,096 posts)Went off and blinded one of them.
Was not there, but know this for fact.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)They are clearly unsafe and make homes less safe.
fescuerescue
(4,448 posts)Insurers know EXACTLY how much it cost them. They have this down to a science. literally. Actuary Science.
Ultimately, they have determined that it's more profitable to just pass the cost along in the price of the insurance.
Arkansas Granny
(31,483 posts)SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Thank you for sharing this with us.
DenaliDemocrat
(1,472 posts)Eom
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Thank you for sharing this with the forum.
LizBeth
(9,946 posts)FalloutShelter
(11,750 posts)My SIL was the victim of a murder suicide.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Thank you for sharing.
FalloutShelter
(11,750 posts)For your caring reply.
Siwsan
(26,177 posts)My dad's cousin and my uncle's (by marriage) niece and her husband. Lewis was quite a bit older than me but I did know him, and my knew my uncle's niece because I come from one of those very 'extended family' situations.
Dad's cousin was on his porch when he was shot. They never knew who did it, or why. Probably a foiled robbery. My uncle's niece and her husband were dealing with a tenant who was far in arrears in rent, and they were serving him with eviction papers. He left the room, came back with a gun and shot the husband. She jumped up and ran, but there was no way out (he was blocking the front door, and there was no back door.) She ran down into the basement and he followed her, cornered her, and killed her. She had two young sons from her first marriage.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Thank you for sharing such a heart wrenching story.
Klaralven
(7,510 posts)So unless you know thousands of people, you likely don't know anyone who died in a given year.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)This is just a small sample.
Look at all the replies.
Almost no one is unscathed by this.
Klaralven
(7,510 posts)Plus, a lot of DU readers, seeing your subject and not knowing anyone, would not have viewed your OP.
kcr
(15,300 posts)You would have a point. And posts on DU almost always have more views than replies.
enough
(13,237 posts)SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Aristus
(66,096 posts)She was shot and killed by her abusive boyfriend a year or so after I had left the clinic.
livetohike
(22,084 posts)of his neighbors back in 1981. He died while incarcerated.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Thank you for sharing this story.
ZonkerHarris
(24,156 posts)Caroline was 5 years old.
I'm okay with taking everyone's guns away.
AwakeAtLast
(14,112 posts)happybird
(4,516 posts)Suicides
kimbutgar
(20,882 posts)With it and one of the boys shot and accidentally killed his 5 year old brother. He was 7 years. My aunt was A very bitter woman after that and resented the one surviving son. I remember he always looked sad and my Mother used to say he was such a charming child until that accident. My aunt got sucked into the Jehovah witnesses and was terrible to be around. I stayed a weekend with her and couldnt wait for my parents to pick me up. I remember standing at the door for three hours looking for my parents car to pick me up. My Mother told me my aunt was such a fun loving woman before the accident.
I also lived in this apartment and one morning I was getting ready for work and the guy who lived above me killed himself. I heard the shot and him falling to the floor. At the time I didnt know what the noise was as I left for work. I was waiting for the bus to go to work and saw the police and ambulance flying down the street and found out later that day he killed himself.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)I can see how much the accident totally altered and in all likelihood destroyed the lives of those who it didnt kill.
The collateral damage was just heartbreaking.
Thank you for sharing your stories.
Budi
(15,325 posts)The impact never ever goes away.
You make your way thru life only to find that memory always re-surfaces with the same degree of heartbreak as the moment you were aware of it happening.
The people left standing to wonder wtf, from a school shooting, to yesterday's murders in Boulder, those who are left to accept & somehow move on from a violent loss that can never be made sense of, have my heart.
Life is never ever the same for the ones who loved them, & all I can say os they will miss their deceased loved ones every day forever.
There is nothing else but that sentiment.
These murders are just so unbearably sad for so many people for a really long time.
Laelth
(32,017 posts)-Laelth
mahina
(17,506 posts)Girl I knew growing up, a lovely brilliant sweet girl, was shot by her mother along with her sister and dad. All three gone.
Another girl I knew growing up in high school, later
Another boy I knew growing up in high school, but that happened in Spain
💧
malaise
(267,823 posts)1985
Yonnie3
(17,376 posts)I lost count of the suicides at three. I am sure there are more.
One in a hunting accident by his own weapon.
One was a store owner in an armed robbery
One trying to breakup a fist fight in a parking lot.
One was killed in his home and his cars stolen.
One a girl I worked with by her abusive husband.
I'm sure I'm not recalling all of them.
I'm going to pass on telling the stories.
sanatanadharma
(3,639 posts)Decades back, I was detained one evening by police on suspicion of being a killer. It is a separate story.
I have never had or wanted a gun; except once for ten minutes wherein I learned that guns cause a madness of power-desire even when only a thought in mind. That is another story.
I am now remembering a bus driver coworker, a friend who gave me shelter and of whom I have not thought for years. Greg shot himself; with a gun, alcohol and perhaps being egged on (I was not there), he lost a stupid bet with a gun and one irreversible action.
Another coworker elsewhere in time and space wherein I was not, died of bullet in her home. Actions have consequences.
I don't want to think about any more.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)I know it is painful and a terrible burden for everyone who has had fun violence impact their lives, even tangentially.
I appreciate you sharing your unpleasant memories.
bottomofthehill
(8,261 posts)Suicide
Bayard
(21,806 posts)Suicides, all in the family. Genetics for bipolar and depression suck in my family.
Skittles
(152,965 posts)shot himself in the head, lived for six days, the third day was my birthday
Tree Lady
(11,370 posts)I am so sorry you had to live through that. Life deals us crap sometimes. 😡
Skittles
(152,965 posts)it did not surprise me one bit
mnhtnbb
(31,319 posts)at killing himself was on my birthday 3 years ago. He ended up with injuries from a fall and then spent two weeks on the geriatric psych unit. Police confiscated his guns.
Nine months later, having obtained another gun, he blew his brains out on the day after his 76th birthday.
I had left him about 4 months prior to his first attempt and filed for divorce.
I'm sorry about your dad.
yardwork
(61,418 posts)SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)I really do appreciate you sharing your story.
susanr516
(1,425 posts)I cannot imagine how difficult that was for you.
hardluck
(634 posts)Two friends of the family were kidnapped at their house and driven to the high desert where they were executed. Turns out the husband was laundering money for the russian mob and was skimming off the top. Found their bodies because a hiker came across their dog's collar (the kidnappers took and killed the dog too).
Couple old friends from HS committed suicide.
Father was shot by a police officer in the hip but lived. Sure there's more...
Johnny2X2X
(18,745 posts)Random case of road rage over a fender bender. Not even a fender bender, barely scratched paint. Friend turned to walk away after a verbal confrontation started to get physical and the guy who he was advising with sister pulled out a gun and shot him in the back.
blueinredohio
(6,797 posts)I'm sure drugs or alcohol were involved.
tavernier
(12,322 posts)My fathers brother was one. Broke dads heart. Dad didnt live much longer after that. But my uncle struggled with black lung (mining) and I suppose it was the easiest out.
Also a close friend, but to this day there was some question of it being his wife (who ran off with his best friend days later, who left his wife).
These things often turn out to be more complicated than what you think.
Hassin Bin Sober
(26,272 posts)Our families were really close. My dad said the sound of the neighbors dad wailing in the background on the phone when my dad got the call was a sound he would never want to hear again in his life. He was their oldest child and best friends with my oldest brother.
One friend in high school and another acquaintance in high school by suicide with family guns.
My sister-in-laws boyfriend. Suicide after a brief police chase for what was apparently going to be his third DUI. He was a disbarred attorney from a wealthy family. A loud mouthed repig.
TreasonousBastard
(43,049 posts)Several friends' suicides.
Not a gun, but a friend killed with a crossbow while at home.
And, I was once almost killed in a hunting "accident". Felt the breeze from the bullet flying past my head.
Of course I knew guys killed in Nam. But that's war, so it doesn't count, right.?
Speaking of war, the military has guns and ammo locked up in the arms room until needed. If the military won't let trained soldiers and sailors get their hands on them, why would untrained civilians have them?
luvs2sing
(2,220 posts)When I was in second grade, the mother of three of my friends committed suicide in the basement of their home.
When I was nineteen, the brother of one of my high school friends was murdered by serial killer brothers (22 caliber killers).
The sister-in-law of an old drinking buddy was murdered at her job. I think she was the only victim.
There are a couple more like this, where a relative of someone I know was killed by a gun, but Mrs. Wells and Larry are the only two I knew personally.
Bettie
(15,998 posts)Three suicides over the course of my life.
One was my 14 year old cousin.
Tree Lady
(11,370 posts)Gun was locked up belonged to father but he knew where key was drove car few miles from house and shot himself. He was in mid 20's had just moved back in with parents from loss of job, had depression problems, they were trying to help him.
Wife hated guns and they ended up in divorce a few years after.
CTyankee
(63,771 posts)drunk and went for the gun. My niece was there helping her grandmother who was dying of cancer. When he started shooting she called 911 and said "there's going to be a shooting." Then his wild shot to her head killed her instantly. He shot the grandmother and my niece's mother but they recovered. My brother never did get over it. HIs other daughter decided to go into the ministry. Everyone was changed by that act of violence.
BoomaofBandM
(1,765 posts)ananda
(28,783 posts)A former friend had a boyfriend who shot himself;
I had met him once or twice at her house. This
happened after she broke up with him and he
had another girlfriend.
He was a very heavy drug user also.
yewberry
(6,530 posts)One rigged up a shotgun and shot himself in the chest. Other one was a former coworker shot in the head during a traffic stop.
turbinetree
(24,632 posts)and the student that did it also shot a fellow student back in the 60's, I can still remember the gun shots sounds.............
Dave says
(4,608 posts)I was a candidate for a jury and during qualifications the question was asked, 'do you know anyone personally who was killed by a gun?' I was shocked by how many raised their hand. Easily 1 in 5 and maybe 1 in 4. (I live in a dangerous city, high murder rate.)
superpatriotman
(6,232 posts)Nt
This should have been a poll
Bluesaph
(694 posts)Two more suicides of high school students.
Shrek
(3,970 posts)Committed suicide by cop. Pulled an unloaded gun and several officers shot him.
Mr.Bill
(24,104 posts)I lived with him for four years, and slowly watched him turn into a radical violent gun nut. I moved out because he was getting out of control. He wasn't even 40 when he killed himself, and had a five year old daughter. His family said all things considered, they are glad he turned his violence against himself rather than others.
phylny
(8,353 posts)(19) killed themselves back in 2005 in a probable double suicide, based on the notes that they left. The girls parents didnt want them to date so instead of waiting it out until she was an adult, they killed themselves with the boyfriends fathers gun.
Mariana
(14,849 posts)Two of the suicides were high school students in my classes, first a young man who walked out from a party into the woods with a gun and shot himself, then about 6 weeks later his girlfriend shot herself at his grave. The third was a former co-worker who was pretty scary - when he was fired we all wondered if he would come back and shoot the place up, but he shot himself instead.
My dad gave me my grandmother's old pictures, and among them were some pictures of a friend who was shot and killed in 1931.
I know some people who've been shot and survived.
grantcart
(53,061 posts)Widow married Cathy McMorris Rodgers FIL
My wife's first husband was a policeman killed in the line of duty - but I did not know him
Hassler
(3,326 posts)JustAnotherGen
(31,683 posts)13th murder in Rochester NY in 1991.
ProfessorGAC
(64,425 posts)Back in '74.
Friend of mine, a junior college wrestling champion, was stalked by the ex-boyfriend of a young woman he was now dating.
Guy confronted him, violently & in front of witnesses and got the crap beaten out of him.
Guy was arrested, spend a few days in the slam. Got his dad's gun, came to a party we were at and shot my friend in the head.
Also, the year before a guy in my home from shot & killed a 12 year old for throwing snowballs at his car.
I didn't really know the kid, but I knew the dad because he worked with my dad.
So, essentially 2 victims of senseless gun violence.
jcmaine72
(1,773 posts)We were friends from grades 4-8. We played a ton of baseball and Atari together. When we reached high school, we started hanging out with different crowds and drifted apart. The dudes he starting hangin' with were always in trouble of one kind or another. All had police records for things like petty theft, auto theft, and, of course, drugs.
My (now former) friend starting dealing pot in 10th grade, and by the time I reached my senior year, he had dropped out of school altogether and was rumored to be selling hard drugs like coke and heroin. I left the town we grew up in for college but we still had common friends, and from time to time I'd get updates. I heard he spent some time behind bars for assault and a some more on a weapon's charge.
A few days after his 24th birthday someone shot my childhood friend in the head an killed him in what was described as a "drug deal gone wrong". As far as I know, they never caught the person who killed him. He had a baby daughter who grew up not knowing him. She would be almost 30 today. Sad stuff.
tenderfoot
(8,424 posts)He strangled and stabbed his girlfriend to death because she was sick of his abuse. During his getaway, he shot a teenaged gas station cashier to death. Then he drove a few states over and offed himself with a shotgun in a motel room.
This happened two days before Christmas.
A few years later, a college classmate was shot in the head during a botched robbery. Thankfully, he survived and fully recovered.
Demsrule86
(68,352 posts)ellie
(6,928 posts)I worked with Teri who was killed yesterday. My classmate and neighbor Tom was killed in Afghanistan.
Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)She was 15 years old. She was funny, kind, like most of us a little unsure of herself. She talked about going to one of the coasts to find work on a cruise ship after school. She wanted to see the world.
She didn't die right away. Most of her hair was shaved away in the attempt to save her life. What little remained framed a face that was not recognizable, purple and black with every type of invasive catheter and tube coming from it. We sat by her bedside for 2 days until her body finally gave up.
He found himself some JAYSUS in prison and walked free just shy of 3 years later. The life of a young poor female didn't count for much then and little has changed, I'm afraid.
Ligyron
(7,592 posts)One was an "accident", apparently while cleaning it somehow. 3 were in the military during combat.
chowder66
(9,011 posts)This is a side-note:
I had a gun pointed at my head from across the street from where I lived during the L.A. riots. It was a looter who was trying to sell stuff out of the trunk of his car. I was outside checking the fires as they were inching up towards Hollywood. Frederick's of Hollywood caught fire and this guy pulled up try to sell stuff to neighbors and they all took off running. I was unaware of what was happening and turned around to see the gun pointed directly at my face. I was alone.
I turned around and walked away. My heart was in my throat for 2 days.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)Thank you for sharing that story.
chowder66
(9,011 posts)I was pissed. No one said a thing to me. My back was to him so I didn't see what was going on. Everyone else was facing him and they split before I finished turning around. Anyone of them could have said run or grabbed me... but nope. They all ran for their lives and left me in the dark with that asshole. I was around 24 or 25.
I didn't know what to do and that is when I just calmly turned and walked back toward my apartment door which was on the ground floor. Once I was inside a flood of adrenaline just shot through my body and I was nearly in shock. At that point I found myself rethinking my relationships with these people. Some of them were close friends or so I thought. I never did look at them the same way again.
yardwork
(61,418 posts)mnhtnbb
(31,319 posts)My husband--see post #61--and a friend of our oldest son when he was in high school. The friend had come to the beach with us that summer. The friend got a gun before Christmas and shot himself in the head in his car in a park across from the high school.
eppur_se_muova
(36,227 posts)Dial H For Hero
(2,971 posts)demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)hubbys best friend in HS
susanr516
(1,425 posts)My uncle committed suicide. He had ALS and didn't want to be a burden to his family. One of my cousins committed suicide. Some of my relatives said it due to back problems he had, but I'm not sure that's the case. The vast majority of my family are conservative evangelical Christians, so that might just be a convenient excuse. I also had another cousin who was murdered.
Withywindle
(9,988 posts)A friend who was waiting for a bus in the middle of the day killed by a stray bullet. Two teenagers shooting at each other, and hit him.
The kids were on bicycles - couldn't do a drive by because they were too young to drive.
Also my mother's best friend when i was little. Suicide.
An old friend of mine had developed serious mental health issues. During an argument she shot herself right in front of her daughter.
Texasgal
(17,029 posts)My cousin was killed by her boyfriend back in 1987. He shot her as she was coming out of her house.
He was jealous and falsely assumed that she was cheating on him. He was convicted of murder and went to jail. He was released in 2011.
Niagara
(7,407 posts)A man gunned downed a friend and former classmate of mine, along with 4 others (1 out of this 4 was also a friend and classmate of mine) all because they didn't feel comfortable letting some intoxicated random stranger to join their bonfire gathering. When they told him had to leave, he threatened to come back with a gun.
After this man threatened them and had left, they abandoned their bonfire and went inside an apartment for safety. The guy came back with a gun, kicked open the door to the apartment and started shooting. One of my friends escaped through a window, the other died from her injuries. Three people in total were killed and another victim recovered from the injuries, but only 1 was able to escape completely. The shooter turned the gun on himself after firing and injuring a LEO.
It was a senseless tragedy that never should have taken place, but here we are and this insanity is allowed to continue to occur. It feels like this bullshit is never going to end and people will continue to lose loved ones from more senseless gun tragedies.
babydollhead
(2,231 posts)jobendorfer
(508 posts)Lemon Lyman
(1,346 posts)Yes
Buckeye_Democrat
(14,847 posts)A young female coworker was shot to death during a robbery.
We both worked at an alcohol drive-thru after high school. (To the people in parts of the country who don't have them, they often look like automated car washes except there's a bunch of alcohol and other products for sale inside of them. Sometimes the places used to be car washes, in fact.)
We both worked at a suburban location that had a low crime rate (although it still wasn't pleasant dealing with drunks), but we'd be asked periodically to fill-in for absent workers at other locations. She was shot to death at a different location closer to downtown Dayton (OH), a place where I had previously filled-in and then later always refused to return.
I was called to fill-in on the same day of the murder, at the more dangerous location, but I refused. She was obviously called to fill-in later, and she accepted.
I heard about her murder the next morning from my mother, who recognized her name as one of my coworkers.
The murderer was caught weeks later after committing another robbery. He was identified by one of the other drive-thru clerks who had survived being shot by him during the previous robbery/murder of my female coworker.
The suspect later confessed that he did it, but he never planned to shoot them. It's just that he recognized my female coworker from about a year earlier when he briefly worked as a grocery store bagger, and they had a long conversation with each other. Thus he assumed that she could identify him, so he decided to kill her and then everyone else there who witnessed it.
EDIT:
Sheesh! My former neighbor was shot to death just a few months ago! I never really knew him, though. To me, he was just a new neighbor who was often noisy as hell and with lots of visitors constantly coming and going. He was supposedly shot to death (miles away) during a drug deal that went bad.
Rhiannon12866
(203,024 posts)He was not a close friend, but someone I knew and liked. I belonged to a group and he had been treasurer. He had a housemate and I remember hearing that the housemate came home, think he'd been visiting his girlfriend, and the police were there and wouldn't let him enter the house. His friend had shot himself.
This guy's story, which we heard from him, was that his father had been fatally ill and had asked his wife, the mother, to shoot him and she did. And she ended up going to prison. This obviously affected the son quite profoundly, though he was middle aged when I knew him. I remember thinking at the time if only these people hadn't had guns.
Kaleva
(36,147 posts)I've heard of people getting killed in hunting accidents or they committed suicide by using a gun but I personally didn't know them.
scarytomcat
(1,706 posts)raccoon
(31,091 posts)Roommate also shot the guys wife and dog. They all three died.
displacedtexan
(15,695 posts)My niece had been openly stalked by a man she didn't want to date for several months. One night, she and her best friend ran into him at a restaurant, and he tried to get her to leave with him. She said no and begged him to leave her alone.
Both my niece and her friend were found in their car, both shot in the head at close range, when a restaurant worker was crossing the parking lot. Despite claiming he had left the restaurant long before the two young women did, nearby security cameras showed the stalker fleeing the scene, and he was later convicted of capital murder. He's spending the rest of his life in a Texas prison.
Tommy Carcetti
(43,085 posts)Murder-suicide.
Husband heard his wife was leaving him, stormed into the office, shut the door and shot her and then himself.
SoonerPride
(12,286 posts)It is truly horrific.
I am so sorry for everyone's loss and pain.
AwakeAtLast
(14,112 posts)My Grandfather's Stepson and my Mother's Cousin's husband. Both shot themselves in the head. The latter was a Veteran.