Okay give me your most Trump-like solutions for the stuck ship.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

Hat tip, safari, at Joe.My.God.

Okay give me your most Trump-like solutions for the stuck ship.

Link to tweet

[EYESORE 9001]

1. Nuke it

Will clear the blockage and widen the canal at the same time,

[left-of-center2012]

7. Nuke it was the first thought that came to me

[chowder66]

52. me too!

[LW1977]

2. Build a wall around it

[Shermann]

6. And Mexico will pay for it nt

[Vinca]

3. That's easy. "It'll go away . . . like magic."

[SheilaAnn]

4. An overhead aircraft with a yuuuuuge magnet; just place the magnet on top of the ship and voila! nt

[keithsw]

5. Give the company owners

A tax cut! That will make them think more clearly and get this figured out!

[Lochloosa]

8. Nuke it. Problem solved

[left-of-center2012]

9. Put Jared Kushner in charge of solving it

[2naSalit]

11. Beat me to it!

[rampartc]

10. his uncle was a professor at mit. the smartest professor ever

a) nuke
b) sharpie
c) it will go away

but the real answer is : put kushner in charge of a public relations offensive to blame this on everyone else.

[2naSalit]

12. Winner!

[Mike 03]

16. Hahaha. "Sharpie"

I love it!

[ornotna]

53. Add more containers

Full of helium. That's a smart sciencey answer.

If that doesn't work, nuke it.


Argh! Posted in the wrong spot. Oh well.

[Mike 03]

13. "Fire and fury the likes of which no one has ever seen before!"

[AnnaLee]

14. Storage Wars auction of container contents.

Will lighten the ship which will float away.

[Mike 03]

17. Tariffs.

[no_hypocrisy]

18. Let the air out of the tires

[elias7]

19. Pour more water into the canal to raise it up, OR

Failing that, cut the end off the bow, stern, or a little of both the make the ship smaller
OR
Get digging crews in the make the canal wider
OR
Drop a whole lot of alka seltzer in the water so the fizzy bubbles jostle the ship loose

[Tree Lady]

42. I was going to say add more water

Seems like the simple dumb answer he would give.

[ClusterFreak]

20. Inject some disinfectant or bleach inside the hull...

...and then maybe some UV light.

Problem solved.

[krispos42]

21. Deny there is a stuck ship, berate anybody that says otherwise,

Support primary challengers to any Republican that says there's a stuck ship, support these positions with a flurry of tweets, hold a rally during a golf vacation, and have Bill Barr drop the charges against the captain. Then give him a Presidential Medal of Freedom, and that photo up to send out a fundraising request.

[nuxvomica]

22. Refurbish it into a hotel

It would be the biggest, most beautiful hotel in history, right on the water! Great views!

[Amishman]

23. Empty the fuel and ballast tanks so it floats higher

Sounds good on the surface and like common sense. Someone will no analytical skills will love it and call all the experts stupid, praising their own common sense.

The rub is that fully loaded container ships have a very high center of gravity, and without fuel or ballast would roll immediately when floating again. Blocking the canal and turning a big problem into an international crisis. Now THAT sounds like Trump.

On a side note, they need to be really careful when removing the sand from under it, do it wrong and it could roll.

[SkylineChili]

24. Thoughts and Prayers. n/t

[superpatriotman]

25. Blame all the other countries

And remind everyone why we need a wall around America

[malaise]

26. It's a hoax that will go away by Easter Sunday when all churches and canals will

reopen

[Haggard Celine]

50. That's it, right there.

The whole thing is a hoax cooked up by the Democrats to make him look bad.

[Alpeduez21]

27. there isn't really a stuck ship it's fake news!

Even if there is a ship stuck it's not that bad.

Even if it is bad it's Obama's fault for having trade with China.

I would have built the biggest most beautiful canal the world has ever known. It would've been impossible for a ship to get stuck in such a wonderful canal.

Fore!!

[Music Man]

28. Grab it by the galley.

[Maxheader]

29. Their doing it all wrong...

....(crickets)....

[Klaralven]

30. It's China's fault

[CurtEastPoint]

32. You mean JY-na.

[CurtEastPoint]

31. Like he said about Notre Dame: helicopters fly over and dump water on it. That'll do it!

[MyOwnPeace]

33. People are amazed......

they say, with tears running down their faces, "Sir, how do you know so much about this?"

[JHB]

34. He has a solution. It's a fabulous solution...

...and he'll be releasing it in two weeks.

[Blue Owl]

35. Hit the vessel with a tremendous, beautiful light

Then wrap the vessel beautifully, and use steam powered aircraft carriers to remove the ship. Nobody knows more about this than Fat Donny.

[soothsayer]

36. Blame it on Hunter

[woodsprite]

37. Sharpie! Draw a new one or widen the canal. nt

[Lucinda]

40. ❤️ ✿❧🌿❧✿ ❤️

[Hugin]

38. Distraction.

CARAVANS! BENGAZI! CARAVANS FROM BENGAZI!

A trip to North Korea.
Blame Antifa.
Call a Democrat some nasty name.
Release porny pictures of the Third Lady.
Leave my kids alone!
Pull the troops out of some critical place.
Back out of NATO.
Kick a puppy.
Threaten a third party run.
Make a perfect call to Ukraine.
Talk incoherently in front of a helicopter.
Promise a vaccine.
Get Putin on the horn.

etc...

[Wounded Bear]

39. Sue it! nt

[Buns_of_Fire]

41. Don't do anything. It'll free itself by April, like a miracle. nt

[twodogsbarking]

43. It is China's fault

I'm going golfing.

[secondwind]

44. I wish I could find the video of the 3 yr olds solving a problem.........

[usaf-vet]

45. BIDEN and the Democrats did it so that Fox would have something to report other than....

... new voter suppressions laws. It's part of their plan to steal the next election.

[tanyev]

46. "So supposing we get all the crew to go to the same side of the ship

and jump up and down at the same time--and I'm sure that hasn't been tried yet so they should definitely test that. As you see, the ship is very, very heavy and it's tremendously stuck, so it would be interesting to check that."

[RicROC]

47. unload the content containers

and then blame the Muslims for stealing them, while selling them to the Republican Governors.

[YDogg]

48. Suez Canal Sea Shanty

Not a solution, but perhaps one is buried in here somewhere?

[WheelWalker]

49. Air drop black pepper over the ship until the canal sneezes it out.

[twodogsbarking]

51. Whose boat is this boat?

Good grief.

[jmowreader]

54. Blaming it on Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama usually works

[madinmaryland]

55. It's fake news!

[muriel_volestrangler]

56. Declare the ship bankrupt

That always makes problems go away.

[BeerBarrelPolka]

57. I Know

I know more about boats than the captains.

[BradAllison]

58. "we've got amazing things to fix it"

"I told them so many ways to fix this the experts couldn't believe how much I knew!!!"