Georgia Governor Declares Water a Gateway Drug That Leads to Voting

[Rhiannon12866]

ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—Raising the ante in his ongoing battle with the aqueous substance, Georgia’s governor, Brian Kemp, has declared water “a gateway drug that leads to voting.”

“We’ve consulted a lot of studies on this,” he said. “People are much more likely to vote if they are under the influence of water.”

The governor said that he was considering a number of measures to address water addiction, including stiffer penalties for voting while quenching.

In his starkest warning, Kemp told those who traffic in the banned liquid, “We’re coming after you,” and promised prison time for anyone combining hydrogen and oxygen in illegal water labs.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/georgia-governor-declares-water-a-gateway-drug-that-leads-to-voting

[SheltieLover]

1. No kidding!

When Atlanta hosted Olympics i n 1996, Red Cross gave away water in Olympic Park & had massive water spritzing stations - to keep people from dying from the heat!

So....

[SheltieLover]

2. BTW

That weed is a gateway drug "study" was a flawed design with a very biased sample population. Researchers weng to a heroin house & asked what was 1st drug used! 🤬

[Rhiannon12866]

3. I first ran across marijuana when I was at boarding school in the '70s

Drugs were popular there because they were easily concealed, I knew of no one who drank. But it was rare when I went to college, alcohol was the big problem, especially since the drinking age was 18 back then and there were fraternities. So I thought that marijuana must have been a '70s thing and I was quite shocked when my coworker found someone's lost keys in the lunchroom and there was a roach clip on the chain! I honestly had no idea that it was still a thing!

[SheltieLover]

5. Lol

[AllaN01Bear]

7. i live in a federaly owned apartment building , so that makes it a federal building

there are a number of residents who smoke pot .
i can smell when they are doing it and it trips the fire alarm.
its also illeagel to posses pot in a federal building . in this case hud.

[Lovie777]

4. Who knew that H20 . . .

is a induce psycho drug that can alter your mind into voting for the other person.

[usaf-vet]

11. Who could have guess this guy was talking about denying water?

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[Rhiannon12866]

12. If enough people feel ill and give up, then fewer people will vote

And this guy is all for that, as is the current governor of Georgia - who supervised his own election.

[AllaN01Bear]

6. ga gov living in the twilight zone?

[multigraincracker]

8. Water is safe to drink if you add

Red Kool-Aid.

[Buns_of_Fire]

9. I've found that water can be rendered safe for consumption

by introducing an equal amount (by volume) of either scotch or tequila.

[BSdetect]

10. Sweating in line still exempt?

[WarGamer]

13. Just to play Devil's advocate...

If it's legal and A-OK to give out water bottles, is it ok to give out Nintendo Console raffle tickets?

Think about it.

Nothing of value can be given out AT the polls.

Set up a truck of water bottles in the parking lot.

[Rhiannon12866]

14. That's a good point, how close to the actual polls does this new "law" cover??

Here in New York, electioneering is not allowed within 100 feet of a polling place and there are signs at every polling place to that effect. Looked up the rule for Georgia and it's "150 ft. of the outer edge of the building where a polling place is established, or within 25 feet of any voter standing in line." So does the new water "law" cover anyone in line who says they intend to vote? What about chaperons or companions? When I was a very little kid, I can remember accompanying my Dad...