Wonkette: Matt Gaetz And Dr. Handjob Went To The Bahamas For WHAT? Allegedly?

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

https://www.wonkette.com/matt-gaetz-and-dr-handjob-allegedly-did-what-in-the-bahamas

Close your eyes and count to "balls," it's time for the Matt Gaetz peenerweener update!

The word of the day is "Bahamas." Investigators are reportedly looking into whether Gaetz might have transported someone/s across international lines to BAMAHAS for sex, while on a trip with HAND SURGEON and MARIJUANA ENTREPRENEUR. (Same guy, who is both surgeon of hands and entrepreneur of marijuanas.)

Dr. Handjob McWeedPot, that is what we'll call him — helllooooo, if you are a hand surgeon you by definition perform hand jobs — is actually named Jason Pirozzolo, and according to CBS News, he "allegedly paid for the travel expenses, accommodations, and female escorts" for the trip with Gaetz, which allegedly happened in "late 2018 or early 2019." Were escorts taken to the Bahamas specifically for purposes related to Matt Gaetz's unseemly dong? That is what CBS says investigators want to know.

"Traveling across state lines is what creates a federal hook for a prosecution," Arlo Devlin-Brown, a former prosecutor and partner at Covington & Burling, said in a report that aired on the "CBS Evening News with Norah O'Donnell." "It doesn't matter that [Gaetz] personally paid them as long as he knows someone is doing that."

So it doesn't matter if Matt Gaetz personally CashApped everything. If he knew Dr. Handjob was footing the bill, if he was aware of that, and if escorts were literally being transported to conduct intercourse with the congressman, that is the issue. DID DR. HANDJOB BUY THE SEXCORTS FOR MATT GAETZ?

*snip*

[TheBlackAdder]

1. Well, we know it wasn't to enjoy locally made Bahama Mamas.

[2naSalit]

2. Matt Gaetz peenerweener update!

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

3. I know that there really isn't anything funny about Gaetz

I just can't help thinking that at some point the prosecution in his coming case is going to be producing a half-colored place mat into evidence along with the testimony of a waiter to the effect that "....well, Mr. Gaetz ordered the New York Strip, medium rare, a baked potato, asparagus and a glass of the house Merlot. His date had the chicken fingers, fries and a large coke."

[Nevilledog]

5. *snort*

[gldstwmn]

6. Oh my. Epstein may still have

been alive and free during that time period.
Welcome back by the way.

[Wounded Bear]

7. "Research." Yeah, go with that. It was "research" into child trafficking...

:facpalm: