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Mon Apr 19, 2021, 07:56 PM

Had a nice encounter with a young transgender worker at the local make-your-own pizza place ...

It was really busy and there was only 3 people working apparently ... and this young lady was flustered and apologizing to me about the wait and just being generally sheepish. She was taking my money, cutting my pizza and putting the final after-cooking toppings on my pie.

Since we're all in masks, it took me a second to ascertain a preferred pronoun ... they're all just in jeans and a loose t-shirt ... but hers looked like women's cut jeans, she had earrings in both ears, and a wristband in rainbow colors ... so I was pretty sure I had right.

After one of the last apologies I was like 'You're all good girl!' ... hoping I wasn't mistaken.

She said "Thank you!" in a normal way, and then stopped and like looked straight at me, and quietly added "and thank you so much". I knew what that 2nd one was for.

This is a VERY red area, I can only imagine what it's like for her on a daily basis.

I walked out happy, hoping I'd made her day a little better

26 replies, 2870 views

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Reply Had a nice encounter with a young transgender worker at the local make-your-own pizza place ... (Original post)
Hugh_Lebowski Apr 2021 OP
ZZenith Apr 2021 #1
Hugh_Lebowski Apr 2021 #2
MLAA Apr 2021 #3
ShazamIam Apr 2021 #4
MustLoveBeagles Apr 2021 #5
KatK Apr 2021 #6
Maru Kitteh Apr 2021 #7
smirkymonkey Apr 2021 #8
I_UndergroundPanther Apr 2021 #9
PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2021 #10
Hugh_Lebowski Apr 2021 #12
PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2021 #17
Hugh_Lebowski Apr 2021 #19
PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2021 #20
ShazzieB Apr 2021 #11
LuckyCharms Apr 2021 #13
niyad Apr 2021 #14
bluecollar2 Apr 2021 #15
PurgedVoter Apr 2021 #16
obamanut2012 Apr 2021 #23
PurgedVoter Apr 2021 #26
James48 Apr 2021 #18
Hugh_Lebowski Apr 2021 #21
Aristus Apr 2021 #22
vercetti2021 Apr 2021 #24
Roisin Ni Fiachra Apr 2021 #25

Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:06 PM

1. And that's why we love you, H.L.

Always trying to make other peopleís days better.

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Response to ZZenith (Reply #1)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:08 PM

2. Back atcha ZZ my man ...

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:13 PM

3. Well done, kindness, especially to those unlikely to get enough, is a wonderful gift.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:23 PM

4. It is especially nice you noticed and gave support in a way that did not draw attention.

e

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:25 PM

5. You did good

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:30 PM

6. Well done! Moments like these really help trans folk who indeed are under siege daily. n/t

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:30 PM

7. That's a very positive, really sweet story. The kind we need more of,

here and in the world. Thank you for bringing a that moment to the young lady and then sharing it with us.


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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:54 PM

8. +1000

 

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:55 PM

9. I always get a warm feeling inside

 

When people call me sir,dude,mister..

It's so affirming..

Good on you for using the right pronouns.
You are so cool.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 08:57 PM

10. What a lovely story.

I know gender identity for a lot of young people is very different from what it was "back in the day".

About ten years ago I was buying some shoes at a shoe store, and fell into conversation with a young person who looked male in terms of hair and clothing. Somehow we fell into a conversation about high heels, which this person apparently wore reasonably often. I didn't ask questions, but I always wondered if he was simply a guy who liked to occasionally wear women's clothing, or if something else was going on. Either way, I hope I came across as I intended: just an adult who was having a conversation about shoes.

I do live a rather sheltered life, but I know a couple of transgendered women. Recently I was reading a novel, and half way through took a look at the dedication, and it was to one of the transgendered women I know. How cool is that!

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Response to PoindexterOglethorpe (Reply #10)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 09:39 PM

12. That's very cool!

And speaking of cool ... I do generally go thru life trying to make the random people I come into contact with feel better than before they ran into me.

You know, if the occasion arises ... which it often does, cause I chat up random people fairly often

I mean, why WOULDN'T you. Esp. as a male, who has less to worry about re: a policy of this nature?

I totally inherited and/or learned this trait from my old man, he loved just starting up random, friendly convos with people he doesn't know ... wherever he was. He was an old hippie, and perhaps on a related note, I'm 99% sure was bisexual, even though he never copped to it to me directly, there were enough hints lol.

Anyways in 2015 ... my 'male' officemate (like, literally my officemate ... it was 2-person office) for the previous 7 years one day up and told everyone else at the office ... "I am a woman".

I had NO idea until that day.

Over the next 2 years I spent 8 hours a day with Krista as she slowly transformed away from being Todd.

I had been familiar with men dressing in women's clothing since I was little kid, and always just thought it was like cute and funny. Real awareness (and semblance of real understanding, or so I hope) of actual trans folks (as opposed to trans-dressers) and their various struggles didn't really come until I watched Krista go through it, more or less before my very eyes.

It is NO friggin' joke, trying to change your whole identity and body (as much as you can) to the opposite gender. It's actually pretty scary-sounding in many ways.

I have much more respect now, now that I've witnessed it. Nobody would just do it if they didn't deeply believe they needed to do it ... and that's just the most obvious observation.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Reply #12)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 10:04 PM

17. Despite my screen name, I do happen to be female.

I am likewise someone who chats up people at random. I often say that it's not that hard to be nice to people.

I'm a science fiction person, meaning I go to various cons, write a little, and count any number of well-known (within the field) authors as friends. The s-f community is overall extremely liberal and progressive, and things like trans-gender people are just barely to be remarked upon.

You are very lucky to have been with Krista as she went through her transformation. I've never had that privilege.

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Response to PoindexterOglethorpe (Reply #17)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 10:12 PM

19. Of course I know you're a lady PO :)

I was just meaning I could certainly understand females being naturally a little more reticent re: beginning convo's with strangers ... than a man typically has any reason to be.

I think it's nicer if nobody is ever afraid to do so, to be clear

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Reply #19)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 10:46 PM

20. Ahhh. Glad you already knew.

I am somewhat unlike a lot of women in that I'm often quite willing to start talking with an man I don't already know.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 09:37 PM

11. What a wonderful story!

I'm going to remember this and emulate this approach whenever I get an opportunity!

P.S. I just realized that we need a smilie with a pink and blue trans flag!

(Sorry for all the edits. Sometimes I get really fussy about how I word things.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 09:45 PM

13. You're all good too, Lebowski

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 09:48 PM

14. That was very kind, and very lovely.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 09:50 PM

15. Nicely done!

I hope that I'll have the opportunity to do the same one day.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 09:51 PM

16. A few year back I made a big social mistake that was not embarassing.

In a very conservative area, I was working in a High School library fixing computers when I made the mistake of using a female pronoun on a young student. I apologized when a few clues warned me that I had made a mistake. She smiled quite happily and told me, no problem. I think I made her day.

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Response to PurgedVoter (Reply #16)

Tue Apr 20, 2021, 07:25 AM

23. If she was a he, why are you calling her a she?

I am not attacking, I am just legit confused.

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Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #23)

Tue Apr 20, 2021, 05:55 PM

26. If someone prefers to be called she, I will call her she.

I am happy to explain and thank you for asking since I think asking is the kind thing.
I save the arguing for people who want to cause others grief.

My only experience with having an identity that causes me distress is the fact that when I look in the mirror and see a large white, retired male, I realize that most of the folk that look like me voted for Trump and are blatantly racists. I don't loose sleep over it, so if you want me to call you, he or she, I will apologize for not picking the right one instantly and try do better in the future. I don't have a card in the game, so I don't see any reason to upset the table.

Some folk have an issue because of bathrooms or sports. Truth is sports are unfair, no matter what anyone says. Even as a male with males only in bathrooms, I have felt rather uncomfortable so there is no excuse for being rude over a persons gender preference. I like private or large well moderated bathrooms with privacy stalls. Bathrooms can be creepy. Gross people, bullies and folks with boundary issues are where I start to get angry.

Trans is no problem.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 10:12 PM

18. So what did you get

On your pizza? You didnít say.

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Response to James48 (Reply #18)

Mon Apr 19, 2021, 10:48 PM

21. Chicken sausage, peppers, onions, mushrooms, basil ... and jalapenos

With their standard spicy red sauce and mozzarella.

Felt like something traditional that day

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Tue Apr 20, 2021, 01:24 AM

22. Well done.

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Response to Hugh_Lebowski (Original post)

Tue Apr 20, 2021, 07:27 AM

24. Thank you!

You have no idea how much that helps us in the long run when we are not misgendered

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