Sun Oct 14, 2012, 10:41 AM

porphyrian (18,530 posts)

You may be a republican if...

...you hate liberals, communists and socialists, but can't really define any of the terms or describe how each is different from the other.

...you have $2.47 to your name, thousands of dollars in debt, don't yet own your house and think Romney's economic "plan" is best for America.

...you are "pro life," as well as pro-war, pro-death penalty and against using tax dollars to take care of unwanted children.

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155 replies	Author	Time	Post
You may be a republican if... (Original post)	porphyrian	Oct 2012	OP
You post you maybe threads!	whistler162	Oct 2012	#1
-1	L0oniX	Oct 2012	#114
Ha!	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#117
...you judge patriotism by the number of American flags and ribbon magnets someone has. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#2
...you insist the media is liberal until it says something you like. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#3
And completely miss the ludicrous paradox of doing so.	Indpndnt	Oct 2012	#78
Thanks.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#81
...you believe you engender Christianity in your hatred of homosexuals, Muslims, compassion... n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#4
...you go out of your way to destroy an Obama sign, then complain that Biden was a "bully." n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#5
...you preach intolerance of homosexuality, then get caught with meth and a male prostitute. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#6
Or you hate children, old people, in between people, sick people, homeless people, animals, the	lonestarnot	Oct 2012	#7
. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#10
I have a few.	Tennessee Gal	Oct 2012	#8
Good. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#11
Good, but small correction. Romney hasn't even release two years' of full tax returns.	yardwork	Oct 2012	#109
You may be a republican if...	Flashmann	Oct 2012	#9
Heh. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#12
....if whatever Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh says...	RichGirl	Oct 2012	#13
Nice. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#18
...you cannot offer a definition of socialism, communism, Marxism or even capitalism	begin_within	Oct 2012	#14
...or be bothered to look any of them up. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#20
... protecting your values means making the values of others illegal.	tarheelsunc	Oct 2012	#15
! n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#21
the TRUTH!	2theleft	Oct 2012	#55
THIS!	liberalmuse	Oct 2012	#77
...there is a sawhorse with a piece of carpet over it in your driveway for 12 years	begin_within	Oct 2012	#16
Ha! I had that neighbor... n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#22
...you believe Fox News isn't "fair and balanced," it's too damn liberal! n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#17
You may be a republican if...	theKed	Oct 2012	#19
Right? n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#23
Now DAMMIT!!	Flashmann	Oct 2012	#24
...you think that going to church for 1 hour on Sunday makes up for what you did during the week	begin_within	Oct 2012	#25
Bible Belters go on Wednesday, too, just in case. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#26
Hey..I recognize that	Flashmann	Oct 2012	#28
You may be a republican if...	gr8dane_daddy	Oct 2012	#27
Surely none of these would run for office, though... n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#30
Surely none of these would run for office	Flashmann	Oct 2012	#34
And if they did, surely the voters	pscot	Oct 2012	#97
Oh.....Yes.....Of course....	Flashmann	Oct 2012	#98
...you are in favor of tax cuts for the rich because you are sure that someday you will be rich	begin_within	Oct 2012	#29
They think that right up until they retire and try to live on Social Security and Medicare. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#31
At first I thought I fit one criteria.	lalalu	Oct 2012	#32
Sorry about that. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#36
LOL, I am just kidding you.	lalalu	Oct 2012	#44
Thanks.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#46
...you are alive to call the French "cowards" because people in the Underground died saving your...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#33
you keep up the premise that tax cuts are a miracle cure for every ill ...	zbdent	Oct 2012	#35
If only they cured hypocrisy. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#38
...your forwarded e-mail messages display all the recipients, and include all previous forwardings	begin_within	Oct 2012	#37
Hey, now, that's an effective way to stop those e-mails, too. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#39
LMAO!	Flashmann	Oct 2012	#42
They get back the emails they forwarded themselves	treestar	Oct 2012	#56
...and can't figure out why or how to change it	begin_within	Oct 2012	#62
Awesome thread, thanx for posting x n/t	darkangel218	Oct 2012	#40
Thank you.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#41
...you believe all welfare should be cut, as long as you aren't getting it yourself. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#43
and the "nee-grows" and "mex-hi-cans" aren't. n/t	Risen Demon	Oct 2012	#102
Right, no brown people at all. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#140
...you think we should be drilling for fossil fuels in national parks to bring down gas prices...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#45
If you outsource jobs to China and make money off that and are a defendant in an anti-trust suit.	lonestarnot	Oct 2012	#50
Hmm...I wonder what his taxes show... n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#51
You mean the ones we will NEVER see?	lonestarnot	Oct 2012	#54
Surely he has nothing to hide... n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#58
No, he's paying someone to do that for him.	lonestarnot	Oct 2012	#72
...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#80
He's a "creator."	lonestarnot	Oct 2012	#85
He really is. He creates bullshit. He creates conspiracy. He creates comedy routines... n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#87
Bullshit Mountain and in a real way, it is not comedy, but reality.	lonestarnot	Oct 2012	#154
Sad, but true. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#155
...you believe you're a patriot, but actively try to disenfranchise American voters. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#47
...you practially worship the military, until the soldiers come home wounded or traumatized. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#48
...you would rather subsidize a multimillion dollar corporation than give a poor single mother...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#49
I especially love this one.	liberalmuse	Oct 2012	#82
The Reagan years were the first time I noticed homeless people on the streets.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#84
...your definition of "liberal media" is ABC, CNN, NBC and MSNBC	begin_within	Oct 2012	#52
...you believe anything that comes out of Paul Ryan's mouth. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#53
...you vote against tax increases yet complain that government services are inadequate	begin_within	Oct 2012	#57
Maybe they think the Santa Ana winds are part of the liberal global warming conspiracy to raise...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#61
wouldn't surprise me,	begin_within	Oct 2012	#67
...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#143
subversive to progress and human decency	JackN415	Oct 2012	#59
Republicans or this thread? n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#66
republican philosophy, modus operandi in one word = subversive	JackN415	Oct 2012	#73
Check. Thanks.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#75
you think corporations are people, too.	2theleft	Oct 2012	#60
! n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#63
yep, you might be a republican if you believe	newspeak	Oct 2012	#83
you push adoption instead of abortion, but you have never adotped or fostered one of thousands..	2theleft	Oct 2012	#64
...and don't want tax revenue to pay for them, either. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#69
You believe that YOU will still be able to take advantage of the "safety net"....	YoungDemCA	Oct 2012	#65
No office for them! n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#68
You own guns and hunt but also vote for people that will boot you out of your favorite	brewens	Oct 2012	#70
Right? Why would a corporation clear cut and pave over ten acres of forest?	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#71
...you spend hours each day ranting about society's parasites from your room at your mother's house.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#74
...you talk authoritatively about things Jesus hates. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#76
You worship Jesus, but loathe everything He practiced and preached.	Indpndnt	Oct 2012	#93
Right on. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#103
...you defend corporations' rights to fire employees, are anti-union, anti-Obamacare...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#79
...you have no problem with everything Romney says being corrected later by his spokespeople. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#86
...your children have been busted multiple times with crack in a zero tolerance state...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#88
...you believe that privatizing something will make it cost less to you	begin_within	Oct 2012	#89
Empirical data states the opposite, but they don't let the facts get in the way of doctrine. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#105
...you believe that if something horrible happens to someone, "it's God's will"	begin_within	Oct 2012	#90
That one's particularly offensive. They use it to justify their successes, too. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#106
...if a Democratic politician does something wrong, they need to be crucified, but if a Republican	begin_within	Oct 2012	#91
Newt Gingrich was a contender for republican candidate. Family values? 'Nuff said. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#107
Recommended.	William769	Oct 2012	#92
Thanks. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#108
Sums it up.	JDPriestly	Oct 2012	#94
Aren't young republicans so introspective and deep? n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#110
Sorry about my horrid grammar in that post.	JDPriestly	Oct 2012	#146
No problem.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#147
You blame teachers	LWolf	Oct 2012	#95
Long enough to bust their unions and end tenure, anyway. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#111
You can perform a colonoscopy on yourself by simply opening your eyes.	11 Bravo	Oct 2012	#96
Ha!	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#104
You attack the wrong country	VWolf	Oct 2012	#99
"They tried to kill my daddy!" n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#112
...you scream bloody murder about nonexistent Democratic voter fraud	meow2u3	Oct 2012	#100
They're still under investigation, I understand. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#113
...if HYPOCRISY is your middle name	We People	Oct 2012	#101
Everyone is a hypocrite at times, but it's so much more obnoxious to be a self-righteous hypocrite.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#116
..the only font you know is Arial and all your memes were done in MS Paint	begin_within	Oct 2012	#115
I'm not sure they're aware of how to change the font, anyway. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#118
...spelling is optional on your protest sign. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#119
...you throw tantrums over how much tax money is wasted on things that spend less than 1%. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#120
You believe your party is for liberty	CheapShotArtist	Oct 2012	#121
! n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#122
...you refuse to sit next to Jon Sununu and know why.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#123
You may be a republican...	MizzM	Oct 2012	#124
They don't want tax dollars paying for all of those cosmetic abortions! n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#126
...you see nothing wrong with coercing your employees to vote the way you want them to. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#125
...you think class warfare is illegal	begin_within	Oct 2012	#127
...you have not mentioned G. W. Bush at all in 2012. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#128
This message was self-deleted by its author	DireStrike	Oct 2012	#129
Socialists vs. Communists is actually a complicated issue	DireStrike	Oct 2012	#130
They would have turned off as soon as you said "Marx."	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#131
...you need a convenient excuse to hang out with the openly racist. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#132
...you blame the President for not creating jobs instead of the obstructionist republicans...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#133
...it's easier for you to believe that "illegal immigrants stole your job" than...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#134
They took er jaaabs!	Risen Demon	Oct 2012	#141
...	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#142
you eat your own poo! n/t	guardian	Oct 2012	#135
Some dog owners won't like that one.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#136
...you spend more time worrying about how others use their genetalia than how much you use yours.n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#137
...you support drone strikes, charter schools,	Bonobo	Oct 2012	#138
...you think lynching an empty chair from your tree in the South is a funny political statement.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#139
... your shoe size is five points higher than your IQ	Bozita	Oct 2012	#144
They don't believe in numbers unless they are in their bank account. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#148
You think it's treasonous for anyone to criticize the president during a time of war...but only	bluethruandthru	Oct 2012	#145
Why do they hate America?	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#149
You may be a republican if...	Arkansas Granny	Oct 2012	#150
...and disregard the parts that contradict what you believe.	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#151
...you believe grandma is OK with using coupons to get her Medicare. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#152
...you home school your children to protect them from the theory of evolution. n/t	porphyrian	Oct 2012	#153

Response to porphyrian (Original post)

Sun Oct 14, 2012, 10:42 AM

whistler162 (11,155 posts)

You may be a republican if...

1. You post you maybe threads!

114. -1

117. Ha!

2. ...you judge patriotism by the number of American flags and ribbon magnets someone has. n/t

3. ...you insist the media is liberal until it says something you like. n/t

78. And completely miss the ludicrous paradox of doing so.

81. Thanks.

4. ...you believe you engender Christianity in your hatred of homosexuals, Muslims, compassion... n/t

5. ...you go out of your way to destroy an Obama sign, then complain that Biden was a "bully." n/t

6. ...you preach intolerance of homosexuality, then get caught with meth and a male prostitute. n/t

7. Or you hate children, old people, in between people, sick people, homeless people, animals, the

10. . n/t

8. I have a few.

11. Good. n/t

109. Good, but small correction. Romney hasn't even release two years' of full tax returns.

9. You may be a republican if...

12. Heh. n/t

13. ....if whatever Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh says...

18. Nice. n/t

14. ...you cannot offer a definition of socialism, communism, Marxism or even capitalism

20. ...or be bothered to look any of them up. n/t

15. ... protecting your values means making the values of others illegal.

21. ! n/t

55. the TRUTH!

77. THIS!

16. ...there is a sawhorse with a piece of carpet over it in your driveway for 12 years

22. Ha! I had that neighbor... n/t

17. ...you believe Fox News isn't "fair and balanced," it's too damn liberal! n/t

19. You may be a republican if...

23. Right? n/t

24. Now DAMMIT!!

25. ...you think that going to church for 1 hour on Sunday makes up for what you did during the week

26. Bible Belters go on Wednesday, too, just in case. n/t

28. Hey..I recognize that

27. You may be a republican if...

30. Surely none of these would run for office, though... n/t

34. Surely none of these would run for office

97. And if they did, surely the voters

98. Oh.....Yes.....Of course....

29. ...you are in favor of tax cuts for the rich because you are sure that someday you will be rich

31. They think that right up until they retire and try to live on Social Security and Medicare. n/t

32. At first I thought I fit one criteria.

36. Sorry about that. n/t

44. LOL, I am just kidding you.

46. Thanks.

33. ...you are alive to call the French "cowards" because people in the Underground died saving your...

35. you keep up the premise that tax cuts are a miracle cure for every ill ...

38. If only they cured hypocrisy. n/t

37. ...your forwarded e-mail messages display all the recipients, and include all previous forwardings

39. Hey, now, that's an effective way to stop those e-mails, too. n/t

42. LMAO!

56. They get back the emails they forwarded themselves

62. ...and can't figure out why or how to change it

40. Awesome thread, thanx for posting x n/t

41. Thank you.

43. ...you believe all welfare should be cut, as long as you aren't getting it yourself. n/t

102. and the "nee-grows" and "mex-hi-cans" aren't. n/t

140. Right, no brown people at all. n/t

45. ...you think we should be drilling for fossil fuels in national parks to bring down gas prices...

50. If you outsource jobs to China and make money off that and are a defendant in an anti-trust suit.

51. Hmm...I wonder what his taxes show... n/t

54. You mean the ones we will NEVER see?

58. Surely he has nothing to hide... n/t

72. No, he's paying someone to do that for him.

80. ...

85. He's a "creator."

87. He really is. He creates bullshit. He creates conspiracy. He creates comedy routines... n/t

154. Bullshit Mountain and in a real way, it is not comedy, but reality.

155. Sad, but true. n/t

47. ...you believe you're a patriot, but actively try to disenfranchise American voters. n/t

48. ...you practially worship the military, until the soldiers come home wounded or traumatized. n/t

49. ...you would rather subsidize a multimillion dollar corporation than give a poor single mother...

82. I especially love this one.

84. The Reagan years were the first time I noticed homeless people on the streets.

52. ...your definition of "liberal media" is ABC, CNN, NBC and MSNBC

53. ...you believe anything that comes out of Paul Ryan's mouth. n/t

57. ...you vote against tax increases yet complain that government services are inadequate

61. Maybe they think the Santa Ana winds are part of the liberal global warming conspiracy to raise...

67. wouldn't surprise me,