Marjorie Taylor Greene Attacks Biden's Plan for Free Preschool: "I Refuse to Go"

[demmiblue]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene lambasted President Biden’s proposal for free preschool by declaring, “I refuse to go.”

Speaking to reporters, the Georgia congresswoman called preschool “just another form of mind control” and said that she would rather “hold my breath until I turn blue” than attend such a school.

“Joe Biden would like nothing better than to see me sitting on a colorful rug, singing, ‘Do you know what time it is?’ ” she said. “I’ll tell you what time it is. It’s time for him and George Soros to stop thinking that I’m going to preschool, because I’m not, and no one can make me.”

Greene also said that she had “serious concerns” about the indoctrination she would have received had she gone to preschool, as Biden wished.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/marjorie-taylor-greene-attacks-bidens-plan-for-free-preschool-i-refuse-to-go

[EYESORE 9001]

1. She may benefit from going through preschool again

She obviously didn’t learn anything the first time - things like basic human kindness, for example.

[Evolve Dammit]

17. Perfect!

[Rebl2]

18. Pretty sure

she never attended preschool or any school.

[The Unmitigated Gall]

2. Another CONservatard hissy-fit from the diaper party. Press on, Joe.

[RainCaster]

3. That schooling is far too advanced for her.

However, it is the Borowitz, so I can just smile...

[KS Toronado]

13. You gave me a couple giggles.

[brush]

4. Can this idiot please shut up and stop showing her ignorance?

Considering how she turned out, she would've benefited immensely from pre-school.

[JHB]

5. It took me entirely too long to peg that as satire.

Such is the state of Republicans these days, especially that sterling example.

[Harker]

12. They've killed satire and irony.

As a rule, I weight the more outlandish stories as likelier true.

It seldom fails.

[USALiberal]

6. Put "parody" in the title! Nt

[demmiblue]

7. No!!!1!! n/t

[malaise]

9. First line

The Borowitz Report

[Brother Buzz]

10. Parody?

"Stated to me for a fact. I only tell it as I got it. I am willing to believe it. I can believe anything."

[malaise]

8. Ha

[hatrack]

11. First half of the title had me - hah!

[BobTheSubgenius]

14. Andy. At least another RBI stand-up double, if not a home run.

I wonder if the New Yorker's subscriber base would suffer if Andy Borowitz left for some reason.

[rickyhall]

15. Take her down to Sesame Street.

[johnnyfins]

16. It's funny and pathetic at the same time

Funny, because it is absolutely conceivable that she would say something like this.
Pathetic, because she is a congressperson. UGH.

[Montauk6]

19. MEHH.... she's just scared she'd flunk the entrance exam

[DBoon]

20. The other pre-schoolers were not amused

they said, "Why won't this weird lady go to school?"