Things the feds recovered from Rudy Giuliani's apartment:

[Nevilledog]

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Tweet text:
Rex Huppke
@RexHuppke
·
Apr 28, 2021
1/ Things the feds recovered from Rudy Giuliani's apartment:

- file marked "CRIMES, 2016 to present"
- receipt from Philadelphia porn shop located next to Four Seasons Total Landscaping
- 55-gallon drum of hair dye from Ukraine
- 37 burner phones, all damaged from being sat upon

2/

- file marked "Other Cousins to Marry"
- 5,300 unread copies of Donald Trump Jr.'s book "Triggered"
- 17,552 doses of hydroxychloroquine
- jar of farts labeled "My Farts"
- shrine to Donald Trump made entirely of empty wine bottles and Post-It notes reading "9/11"

END
9:39 AM · Apr 28, 2021

[Dawson Leery]

1. LOL!

[FoxNewsSucks]

2. HAHAHAHA!!!!

(lock him up!!)

[Lovie777]

3. LOL!. . .

[Blue Owl]

4. Bwah!

[LakeArenal]

5. Who?

[Faux pas]

6. Kickin' With Gusto!

[lindysalsagal]

7. 100,000 extra-large pillows....

[KS Toronado]

17. From " the my pillow guy" no doubt!

[CatWoman]

8. LOL

[Wounded Bear]

9. OK, that got a chuckle...

[NoMoreRepugs]

10. Rex Huppke - UDAMAN!!!!

[AnotherMother4Peace]

11. ewwww - also files labeled "insurance to keep me out of jail - top secret"

[Stallion]

12. Actual Scene of Evidence Recovered...

[BobTheSubgenius]

13. I can't believe this isn't widely known, but the final entry on the list above reminded me of it.

Did you know that he was the mayor of NYC when the 911 attacks took place? You'd think he'd mention it, but I guess he's far too humble and self-effacing. Someone should talk about it, though...let his story be known.

[ThatJustHappened]

14. Cum Stained DVDs

Containing spliced takes from

Amerika's 9/11 Mayor

and

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

[Fritz Walter]

15. Toothbrush, toothpaste and dental floss

Never opened or used.

(It’s too close to meal time to add photos).

[bringthePaine]

16. serious contender for "funniest ever"😂