BROKEN: Trump Supporters Rush to Get COVID-19 Vaccine!

[MineralMan]

New Report Shows 25% Penis Growth After COVID Shot, Causes Rush for Vaccine

by I. M. Bigger

A research report from the University of Bangkok is sending former vaccine refusers to clinics for their COVID-19 jab. Male vaccine refusers, that is. A research study done in Thailand indicates that most men saw significant increases in the size of their penises, up to 25%, within three months of being vaccinated. News of these findings is sweeping across social media platforms, leading to crowds at vaccination sites, demanding their shot immediately.

One man standing in a very long line at an Arkansas vaccination site, wearing a MAGA hat and carrying an AR-15 slung on his shoulder, said, "I think the whole COVID thing is a hoax spread by liberal socialists. I heard that from President Trump. But, Hell, size really does matter. Imma get my shot right here and right now."

Dr. Fauci, the current administration's COVID-19 guru, said about the Thai study, "I can't detect any difference myself, but if this report will get people vaccinated, I support the study's findings."

[Wounded Bear]

1. OK, that got a chuckle...

[MineralMan]

8. Glad to hear it!

[Lovie777]

2. Is this real? . . .

LOL

[MineralMan]

3. Sure. Why not. Share it with all the right-wingers you know.

[thucythucy]

9. Absolutely.

Facebook is always an option.

Who knows, a month from now we may see Fr. Fauci on CNN trying to rebut this.

Or maybe not.

[Chakaconcarne]

34. Yep, and they will believe it.... so will the women MAGAts

[TexasTowelie]

4. I don't know if this is just a coincidence,

but Facebook reported that an unusual number of their male members changed their profile pictures recently.

[Ilsa]

11. Haaaaaaaaa!!! nt

[Sancho]

5. If someone could post this on a porn site it would look like Jan.6 at CVS!!

...but can you imagine the questionnaire to get your vaccine?

1.) Have you ever had an adverse reaction? ___ Yes ___ No
2.) Is this your first shot? ____. Second? ____ Third? ____ More ____?
3.) Did you notice any "change" in your "appearance"? _____________

Please download the daily app for after vaccine monitoring.

[MineralMan]

7. Sales of rulers would probably go up, too.

[Ilsa]

12. Or tailors' tape in the notions department at JoAnne Fabrics.

Murphy Brown, circa 1990: "Why don't you both pull down your pants, I'll get a ruler, and we'll settle this once and for all!

[MineralMan]

14. REAL MEN Do Not Go into Fabric Stores.

They just don't. It is an overwhelmingly frightening experience for them.

[3catwoman3]

15. That is also true for some of us of the female persuasion...

...who are hopelessly domestically challenged.

[japple]

30. My husband always used to say "you can tell where the crafts or fabrics stores are

located because there are always cars with men taking naps in front of the place."

[Ilsa]

37. Yeah, they'd probably think a man was a perve.

Or not.

I asked my husband for a really good air of scissors for Christmas a few years ago (before Amazon). I was happily surprised Christmas morning. He said the staff was very helpful.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

6. LOL

[WA-03 Democrat]

10. Individual Results May Vary

On Feb 20 I got my second Pfizer jab.

Today, I am pleased to report a 35% growth.

Telling Democrats from Republicans apart won’t just be based on the criteria of “can you wear a mask correctly.”

[Ilsa]

13. Scientifically proven that wearing a mask makes

trumpmen more tolerable by restraining bad breath due to poor oral hygiene and hiding the pork rinds caught in their beards.

[aggiesal]

16. Great article, but The Onion would have gotten more exposure (pun intended). n/t

[VGNonly]

17. See the name:

I.M. Bigger

[SergeStorms]

18. No way!

I refuse to have another penis reduction surgery.

I guess I'll just keep wearing the mask.

[TheRickles]

19. If only....

Very well done!

[PurgedVoter]

20. I'm having to buy new underwear.

I mean, there was nothing going on after the first dose of the Moderna Vaccine. But wow, after waiting and getting the second one, the results justified it being called, "The Prick."

[MineralMan]

25. LOL!

[nuxvomica]

21. Future headline: "Gun ownership down by 30%; truck sales plummet"

[dalton99a]

22. Any swelling should be temporary

[SpankMe]

23. Let's not throw Trump supporters too much shade on this

Truth be told, if the Covid shot resulted in increased weenie size, even I'd fight my way to the front of the line. I may even triple dip on the vaccine.

But, alas, I got my vaccines in April and there's still quite a bit of clearance between me and the bottom of the urinal.

[MineralMan]

26. Nyuk-nyuk!

[Xipe Totec]

24. There's growth opportunities in covid-19 vaccination effort. nt

[Richard D]

27. A 25% increase . . .

. . . of nothing remains nothing.

[jcgoldie]

28. My wife works part time at tractor supply

She was the only employee in her store to get vaccinated even though the company gave a $50 bonus to anyone that got fully vaccinated. Yesterday the company sent an email to all employees saying you no longer have to wear a mask but only if you are fully vaccinated (2 weeks after 2nd shot)... now she’s laughing because all those fools are scrambling to get vaccinated and they will still have to mask up for 6 more weeks.

[niyad]

31. Goes along with the campaign we created the other day, based on actual research that the virus

lingers in penile tissue. "Get the stick, or lose your dick." And "get the prick or lose your prick" amoung others.

This could be fun.

[niyad]

32. Study done in Bangkok. Nice touch!

[MineralMan]

36. Tee-Hee!

[KS Toronado]

33. I personally know the author of this research report very well, real good friends.

[panader0]

35. Within three months you say?

That would put my "due" date on the 4th of July!