BOY could we use some good vibes if you've got 'em.
Last year I wrote a long post re various difficulties during COVID, and this year so far has raised things a few notches. I haven’t put this out on any social media but relative anonymity here with really caring people lets me blow off some anxiety.
So, in February we found out my husband’s brother, at 68, has leukemia. He had to leave a new job that was a lifelong dream and has been receiving chemo in anticipation of a stem cell transplant.
Everyone was tested, and our older son ended up being a 50% match. Ten years ago that wouldn’t have worked but medicine is insanely precise now and they can do chemo that will literally kill off the cells that don’t match and preserve those that do after the transplant. But the shots my son is taking now, prior to their whole family getting on a plane tomorrow with a 3 year old and 8 month old and going across the country, make his bones hurt, are rarely but possibly a bit dangerous, and I am in mama mode, worrying and impotent. Oof. That said he’s our hero, and we all fervently hope this works. Frankly our brother in law could die from all the chemo, but he’s doing really well considering and is amazing optimistic. He’s a doctor and is learning about being a patient, and is making the best of it.
But…their 98 year old father did not survive. On hearing his son was in such dire straits he went into a steep decline and died a few weeks ago, one day before my husband was going out to see him. To say he was revered in the family and in wider spheres would be an understatement. He lived a long and amazing life but there is much sorrow, and a whole lot of life to unwind and deal with (his wife died a few years back). People are struggling to handle it all at once and going back and forth across the country for all reasons.
I feel terrible because I have a benign but painful health thing going on and can’t do a five hour flight on a bet. I HATE this. I can’t be there. I can only support form a distance. You never stop being a mama, and my son is worried and hurting. It’s dreadful.
Here’s the amazing thing though. We’re getting through this as family. There was no hesitance on anyone’s part about getting tested and being a donor, no one is arguing over estate matters, everyone is supporting everyone else, and we all know that we’re in this life together and what helps one of us helps us all.
Isn’t that what we hope for as a society? The illusion that we’re on our own and should claw our way through, armed and stingy, is anathema to us. Profiting off of another’s loss is no profit at all. How anyone can feel otherwise is beyond me and mine, and in some way you are ALL mine.
Thanks for reading this. Friends are important in good times and bad. Hug those you love, and love everybody you can. Life is precious and fragile.
nolabear
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It’s amazing what life throws at you at times isn’t it?
I’m so thankful you have such a wonderful family - wishing them all strength!
We never stop being ‘Mom’- that’s for sure!
Please, keep us posted as to how your brother-in-law is doing.
In the form of a virtual hug
Wishing you all strength
Sending healing vibes to you and yours.
Love to you all.
Thanks for sharing with us and I look forward to hearing how well everyone is doing in the future.
And a .
Your priorities are all in the very best place: centered on your family and what's good for all of you.
And I hear your pain. It's got to be awful, dreadful.
I hope for the very best outcome for your brother-in-law, and for your son's match working its magic.
Thanks for the reminder; healing thoughts for all going right your way!
from a cancer survivor also...it can be beaten...tell him to stay positive. Very difficult sometimes but possible. I felt very sick from 24/7 chemo pump I wore for10 weeks. Radiation also. You stay strong mama bear...I love the love you are showing.
The ones I've been saving for a special occasion - and this is it.
Thank you all so much. When the world just all seems too mean I come here and know that, honestly, most people are full of generosity and love.
You have a wonderful family! I’m sending you hugs from one mom to another!
meet these challenges together and family support is a great healer .
Sending all the good vibes I've got along with a warm hug. I am wishing you, your son, and your entire family the best. I hope you keep us updated on how it is going. I have felt inspired and encouraged by the love shown by you and your family members. Thank you so much for sharing with us!
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hopeful, coping and healing vibes to your whole family! We've got your back here nolabear!
💗💗💗
Take as many as you want back to your amazing family! 
My sister and I were exactly the same about my father's estate. "No matter what the will says, it's 50/50." She did take some heirlooms in lieu of cash, though - grand piano and an amazing dinner service and sterling cutlery...plus the $ my father put towards her Master's at Oxford.
We were both really satisfied, and that was the best part of all. To the point that her husband - a very dry, "Canadian" sense of humour broke in with "Stop it Heckyll and Jeckyll, you're making me sick."
It sounds like your family is pulling together with love and concern.
Best of luck to you and them!
To you, dear nolabear
You are a treasure to everyone
We are not alone. Thanks for taking the time to write not just about your troubles, but the lift I'm sure you gave all of us who have read it
And thanks for the last paragraphs; it's nice to be reminded that there are many people who rise to the occasion.
Best wishes for a full recovery
And your son, what a hero!
I have been involved in some leukemia related white cell donations and have just a smidgeon of an idea what he is going through.
You are where you are at the exact time you’re supposed to be. Acceptance then empathy then deeds.
I wish them nothing but the best. Here's good vibes, thoughts and prayers going your way.
and all your worries, and also grateful for this beautiful affirmation of love. Your family has all the right priorities, and it's a good reminder for all the rest of us.
Holding you and yours in the light for the best possible outcomes all around.
and to your son. Condolences for the loss of your father-in-law. So much to go through.
We've had a number of serious health issues and deaths this past year in my family, including my husband's brother being diagnosed with acute lymphoblasitc leukemia and my husband with Gleason 9 prostate cancer. I understand the stress that it can create. But it sounds like you've got good family supports are in place, which can be a great help. I wish you all the best moving through it.
But it appears that it is your note that lifts us all. We are getting a lot of love and hope from you.
What a wonderful family you are.
