QAnon, Zyklon B, and the Rest of the Wingnut Alphabet (Th'Ferret)
Life ain’t bad these days, huh? Sun’s out, stuff’s opening back up, and if you don’t stand downwind, you’ll barely even notice the stench of fascism as it takes root on the American right. Still, before we embark on a richly-deserved weekend of sweet, sweet normalcy, let’s grab a clothespin and take a quick reconnaissance pass, in the name of vigilance.
(Tonight like every night, get this post, in color, with dem links, here: http://showercapblog.com/qanon-zyklon-b-and-the-rest-of-the-wingnut-alphabet/)
So, you’ve probably heard by now, but at the QANon convention, oh yeah, QAnon has conventions now, where they gather in clumps like cancer cells to talk about the civil war they want to start in order to exterminate all the [SLUR REDACTED] and [SLUR REDACTED] and especially the [SLUR REDACTED] and ANYWAY at the QAnon convention, Michael T. Flynn, disgraced traitor, conspiracy theory-spewing nutjob, and (sigh) hero to millions of brainwashed cultists/habitual voters, could not conceal his hard-on while fantasizing about a Myanmar-style coup right here on American soil, because such thoughts are basically Viagra for Nazis.
Louie Gohmert spoke at this same convention (the one for the FBI-designated domestic terror threat), merrily spreading disinformation about the Capitol riot, before moseying back to his day job...writing federal laws. So that’s fun.
Enormous shoutout, wrapped in gratitude and absolutely dripping with admiration, for TEXAS HOUSE DEMOCRATS, who, having internalized the lessons of the great Kenny Rogers, knew when to walk away; like, for example, when freedom-loathing Republicans needed a quorum to ram their despicable voter suppression bill through before the end of the legislative session. Nicely done.
Governor Greg Abbott threw himself a tiny tyrant tantrum in response, threatening to cut off the state legislature’s funding, likely only after triple-checking to see if he could dissolve the body outright, like in the movies. Republican governors never miss a chance to bust out those Generalissimo duds for a quick strut on the balcony, do they? Y’know, see if they can get away with it...see who salutes.
Look! Up in the sky! Why, it’s the Crenshaw-signal! That can only mean some deviant sissypants libtard was being WOKE IN or perhaps even near THE MILITARY, who can deliver us from this calamity?!? Luckily, Danny Boy teamed up with fellow hollow-skulled jingoism dispenser Tom Cotton to launch an extremely serious, not-at-all-silly culture warrior snitch line, somehow failing to anticipate the inevitable avalanche of mockery. This inability to grasp cause and effect on even the most basic imaginable level provides useful insight into the way conservative policymaking always results in disaster, don’t you think?
With the entitled lunkhead certainty born of a lifetime spent using Daddy’s money to get out of trouble, Pumpkin Spice Pol Pot has apparently taken to telling nearby stooges he expects to be “reinstated” to the presidency by August, based on the spittle-drenched delusions of Sidney “I am literally arguing, in court, right this very minute, that you’d have to be fucking crazy to believe the shit I say” Powell, and the Marat/Sade rejects befouling ballots down in Arizona with their grubby little bath-salts-n’-Cheeto-dust-stained fingers.
And so it seems, with his return to the Klan rally circuit imminent, the Deposed Dotard will resume his fascistic attacks on the nation’s democratic institutions, because he was once again duped by a highly sophisticated deception technique involving Someone on Television Telling Him What He Wants to Hear. Sometimes history is real, real dumb.
Didja see where Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, with sternest of tones and furrowedest of brows, lectured the wicked ol’ U.S.A. for our inhumane maltreatment of those doe-eyed insurrectionists who only wanted hugs and okay fine to lynch the sitting Vice President? Diplomacy by trolling. It’d be funnier if it wasn’t working so well.
Yeah, a really cool thing about the way the world works nowadays is that a fifth-rate shithole fallen superpower, having stumbled onto a distressingly effective strategy to destroy America from within by weaponizing our nigh-limitless supply of credulous morons, can use their official state foreign policy platform to do their propaganda-spreading partners at Fox and Newsmax and OAN a solid, amplifying their disinformation while simultaneously feeding their audience’s insatiable persecution complex. Giggling all the while, no doubt, kicked back in luxuriant recliners, smoking enormous cigars, just waiting for the ol’ stochastic terror machine to work its magic.
Misgauging his might and prowess (as is his custom), Wee Donnie One-Term launched a social media platform of his very own, no doubt fantasizing about the day he’d rub the Facebooks’ and the Twitters’ noses in it, only to fail spectacularly and publicly (as is his custom). We’re told Trump’s primary motivation is fear of being perceived as a loser, and like, maybe somebody should let him know that ship sailed somewhere around the time he lost more money than any other American taxpayer.
Hot on the heels of this latest botched endeavor (if he’s been keeping his punch card up to date, I believe he’s eligible for a free sub sandwich now), Facebook announced Government Cheese Goebbels’ ban will last two years, at which point they’ll consult the Shitty-White-Boy-Terrorism-o-Meter “to assess whether the risk to public safety has receded.” That kind of of optimism is almost enough to get me to click on one of those MeUndies ads. Almost.
From his fashy Florida fiefdom, Ron DeSantis celebrated Pride in the traditional Republican manner; with institutionalized discrimination, and a clear signal to the theocrat white nationalist right that he’ll giddily use any power he’s allowed to snatch in service to their filthiest fantasies of puritanical persecution.
On the first day of Pride Month, Ron-Ron signed into law a shitty little bill mandating discrimination against transgender student athletes. On day two, he vetoed funding for multiple LGBTQ programs, including $150,000 for mental health services for survivors of the Pulse nightclub massacre. Dunno how many more doors there are on his homophobic advent calendar, but the message couldn’t be clearer: a vote for DeSantis is a vote for hate.
It’s precisely this sort of pandering, to the vilest prejudices of the shittiest people alive, that’s made DeSantis, a fungus-crusted toe of a man, complete with brain neatly bisected by a snugly ingrown nail, one of the leading contenders for the GOP’s 2024 presidential nomination, heaven help us all.
Louis DeJoy, somehow still Postmaster General despite abusing the powers of his office in service to a plot to thwart American democracy and destroy it forever, faces an FBI investigation into the campaign finance fuckery that was his audition for the role of Turd Reich apparatchik in the first place. Fuck it, nail the skeevy little freak for jaywalking if you have to, just get his treacherous ass out of office and, ideally, into a jail cell.
I’ve never really been tempted to watch bounty hunter shows, but now that Mo Brooks has turned insurrectionist deadbeat, I’m developing fantasies that need fulfilling. For such an ordinarily vociferous member of the party of personal responsibility, Mo seems curiously reluctant to take credit for his little hate mob TED Talk. Huh.
Seditious bedding peddler Mike Lindell continues to jet down the path to dying, destitute and despised, of a methamphetamine overdose, in Matt Gaetz’s bathtub, and I consider it every American’s patriotic duty to point at him and laugh.
Last blog, I joked that I’d be back in a week to talk about more Nazi shit, which was intended as a harmless bit of comic exaggeration (play the hits, Cap) but then I found out about Arizona Republicans’ latest clever scheme to get around the lethal injection drug shortage: Zyklon B. Yes, THAT Zyklon B. Hey fellas, far be it from me to offer unsolicited advice, but maybe emulate Auschwitz less?
Evangelical doormat Michael Pants lamented that he and his Turd Emperor will likely never “see eye-to-eye” on the events of January 6th, but hey, what’s an attempted lynching between a dimestore Jim Jones and the invertebrate enabler he so casually tossed to a homicidal mob? Watching the poor dolt cling to the hope that he can somehow transform bloodthirsty HANG MIKE PENCE chants into VOTE MIKE PENCE cheers...it’s an impressive degree of delusion, even during these batshit days, when delusion is king.
In a world that’s been disappointingly light thus far on comeuppance for the conspirators who attempted to murder my country, I truly cherish the exquisite timing of Mikey Hairshirt’s finish-line excommunication. Sold a fresh, new chunk of your soul every single dang day, until there was nothing left but a snarling, ironically fetus-like homunculus, on the promise that you’d be first in line to inherit the keys to the cult, but in the end, all you got was stuck with the soggy cracker. Well, chow down, Mike.
As you can see from tonight’s blog, (and, y’know, every one of the hundreds preceding it) everything a voter needs to know about the Republican Party under Donald Trump can be summed up in two simple words: hatred and ineptitude. Meanwhile, the economy keeps roaring back on a wave of sweet, Biden-y competence; say, is that the May jobs report in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
And yet the argument from the right is that their Confederation of Loser Bigots must not only be returned to power, but installed there for all time. The entitlement seems to rise in direct proportion to the bungling, have you noticed that?
Maybe the larger electorate has noticed, too. In a crucial early test, Dems overcame Republican fear-mongering to resoundingly hold the U.S. House seat for New Mexico’s first congressional district, adding the impressive Melanie Stansbury to our battle-tested caucus. Y’know, if these creeps can’t make fear work, they’ll have nothing to run on but their records. Hee.
Welp. Once again, my dad’s theory, that we’ll never be in any danger of running out of assholes, held true. Stay safe out there amongst those assholes, Resisters, many of them are armed, and the fight to preserve democracy needs you.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Very apropos as the Kool-aid kaukus reconvenes.
I am struggling mightily not to dement the song, "Back in the Saddle Again" out of respect to Gene Autry/Aerosmith.
Thanks, Cap.
PS: You're seriously encroaching on my Guinness World Records State Fair Blue Ribbon length run-on-sentences with the first paragraph after the link. Nice try, but, I'm the king. 
Bingo. 