Donald Rumsfeld Survived By 1 Million Fewer Iraqis

[underpants]

https://www.theonion.com/donald-rumsfeld-survived-by-1-million-fewer-iraqis-1847206941

TAOS, NM—Former U.S. secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld passed away Wednesday at 88 years old, sources confirmed, and is survived by 1 million fewer Iraqis. “It is with tremendous sorrow that we share the passing of an American icon, whose legacy in decades of shaping U.S. foreign policy will be felt by the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi men, women, and children who might otherwise still be alive,” read an obituary of the former U.S. congressman, White House chief of staff, and RAND Corporation chairman, adding that he also leaves behind an incalculable number of current and former prisoners who will feel his influence for the rest of their lives. “After a long and rich life, Donald leaves behind the stark absence of so many Iraqi mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts, grandparents, children, and grandchildren, as well as innumerable never-to-be-born potential descendants.

[Aristus]

1. Not humor or satire.

But the absolute truth.

What a wreck the man made of the world...

[The Blue Flower]

2. I wish him an eternity of waterboarding

With water laced with clorox.

[Hekate]

3. If this was a Greek play, he'd be greeted by all those ghosts as he entered the Underworld...

…and he would know this is how his eternity would be. If Dante were writing the script, his destination would be hotter.

[Raster]

4. someone needs to make sure they do it proper...

...Rumsferatu needs to be staked, and I'm not talking about beef.

[iscooterliberally]

5. And so passes another republican that the world would have been better off had they never been born.

[Paladin]

6. Dead-bang perfect by The Onion, as usual. (nt)

[malaise]

7. Good riddance to Rumsfeld

war criminal par excellence

[Martin Eden]

8. It saddens me when an architect of the Iraq War dies ...

... outside of prison.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

9. I love good satire

Link to tweet

[LetMyPeopleVote]

10. Rumsfeld Family Immediately Squabbling Over Who Will Inherit Mounted Heads Of Iraqi Civilians

Link to tweet

[underpants]

11. 👍

[LetMyPeopleVote]

12. For this thread

[underpants]

13. 👍