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sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 08:49 PM Jul 2021

I was asked this.

"What have you accomplished in the past few months or years?


Sadly I have done nothing I guess, not enough politically, yet...

I have a lot of accomplishments in the last three and a half years.

I am one of two 24/7 caregivers for my aging mom. She will be 95 in less than two weeks. I moved here a year after losing my job due to age and never able to seek part time work with mom as my soul job. She hasn't stepped out of the house in two years. I have had 5 full days off in 3 plus years. We take turns with the baby monitor at night, that is the night you get no sleep. I get her up, make the bed and empty the commode. Cook breakfast before I have a sip of coffee and her nap and lunch Then nap and shower then nap.

She is cognitively aware and politically correct but attached to a 25 foot oxygen tank and very unsteady on her feet. I have learned to hook up the spare tanks when the power goes out because frankly she will die without it. I think I have accomplished a lot and we have kept her safe during a pandemic.

Politically? I have made sure my Democratic mother had her mail in ballots. I hand delivered them all. She use to work the during the elections at her precinct as a volunteer.

So no, I really haven't done that much other than making her vote count.
77 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I was asked this. (Original Post) sheshe2 Jul 2021 OP
You've done plenty. Enter stage left Jul 2021 #1
Thanks. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #3
You have done SO much. In my opinion, you are one of those "unsung heroes" we hear about. Atticus Jul 2021 #2
Thank you, Atticus. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #4
+1 grantcart Jul 2021 #38
Sounds Like Enough To Me ProfessorGAC Jul 2021 #5
You are one of the unsung heroes. brer cat Jul 2021 #6
CAREGIVERS - keeping faith, hope, and love alive....... MyOwnPeace Jul 2021 #7
If it's one thing I've learned in my 60-plus years hamsterjill Jul 2021 #8
I am hugging you. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #9
This mahina Jul 2021 #25
If everyone did as "little" as you... lapucelle Jul 2021 #10
All in the name of Love. LakeArenal Jul 2021 #11
Taking care of an aging parent the loving way you do, is a GREAT accomplishment. FM123 Jul 2021 #12
Yes. TY. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #17
Wow. That is the hardest job in the world. And you have been doing it for a long time. Scrivener7 Jul 2021 #13
Yep. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #18
It is one of the most important jobs in the world, though, too. You know that, right? Scrivener7 Jul 2021 #19
I do, Schivener. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #40
You have much to be proud of!! cally Jul 2021 #14
I don't know why someone would say that to you JustAnotherGen Jul 2021 #15
My sister and I get angry with each other. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #20
I applaud you! You are, without a doubt, a true gem. skylucy Jul 2021 #16
I don't think anyone understands how difficult caretaking is until you've done it peggysue2 Jul 2021 #21
It sounds like you have done this... sheshe2 Jul 2021 #51
you have done MORE than enough. Anybody who knows the kind of caregiving that niyad Jul 2021 #22
Who asked? And why?I hope it wasn't done with snark. calimary Jul 2021 #23
You're an angel PsakiPswirli Jul 2021 #24
Caring for your mother or any loved one, is a great accomplishment! nightwing1240 Jul 2021 #26
You've made it possible for the mother you so clearly love to live in her own home summer_in_TX Jul 2021 #27
Even though you acted like I was lying that my Laura PourMeADrink Jul 2021 #28
Post them. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #50
Having reread the angry chain, I see now that I must Laura PourMeADrink Jul 2021 #52
I appreciate your apology. I sincerely do. Even if it is one year after the fact. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #53
You have accomplished a great deal LetMyPeopleVote Jul 2021 #29
Were either your mom or dad war veterans? If so, they (you) are entitled to financial assistance. 3Hotdogs Jul 2021 #30
My dad was a vet. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #41
If you can't find the VA office, look for an American Legion post. 3Hotdogs Jul 2021 #42
VA.gov 3Hotdogs Jul 2021 #43
Not sure it works after six years. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #45
---Only one way to find out. 3Hotdogs Jul 2021 #48
Thanks. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #49
That is very good advice, she mcar Jul 2021 #59
My understanding? sheshe2 Jul 2021 #61
BC still has to pay for her care mcar Jul 2021 #67
Mom, never a big woman... sheshe2 Jul 2021 #70
It is so sad to see our loved ones, our parents, decline mcar Jul 2021 #71
... sheshe2 Jul 2021 #72
time to take care of them. mine are all gone . mom , dad , aunt , uncle . AllaN01Bear Jul 2021 #31
your top's ! monkeyman1 Jul 2021 #32
... spanone Jul 2021 #33
same thing happened to me Chili Jul 2021 #34
24/7 is enough to kill you when there are two. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #47
sheshe, great big hug for you too Chili Jul 2021 #54
Love you. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #55
Love you too! Chili Jul 2021 #57
That question CrackityJones75 Jul 2021 #35
hm. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #62
You've contributed a great deal to DU and helped us along our path. Also.... KY_EnviroGuy Jul 2021 #36
Sheshe Hekate Jul 2021 #37
"So no, I really haven't done that much"... You're shortchanging yourself. keithbvadu2 Jul 2021 #39
You did a lot. Joinfortmill Jul 2021 #44
Love you sheshe. Maru Kitteh Jul 2021 #46
HUGS KentuckyWoman Jul 2021 #56
You have accomplished so much she mcar Jul 2021 #58
I noticed you said your mom lunatica Jul 2021 #60
Hi hon. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #65
I have no regrets at all. lunatica Jul 2021 #66
Your son. ;( sheshe2 Jul 2021 #68
Your heart never heals. lunatica Jul 2021 #69
thank you for being there for her Shellback Squid Jul 2021 #63
I saw your OP and some of the responses... MerryBlooms Jul 2021 #64
I am so sorry, just saw your post. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #73
Don't be sorry one bit! I'm glad you made it through the two days MerryBlooms Jul 2021 #74
No. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #75
You're doing great work. lagomorph777 Jul 2021 #76
My heart to you and yours, lagomorph. sheshe2 Jul 2021 #77

Atticus

(15,124 posts)
2. You have done SO much. In my opinion, you are one of those "unsung heroes" we hear about.
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 09:01 PM
Jul 2021

I admire you and wish you and your Mom the best.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
4. Thank you, Atticus.
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 09:09 PM
Jul 2021

I have said before that your name is one of my favorites. He had a heart and soul for the ages.

ProfessorGAC

(64,955 posts)
5. Sounds Like Enough To Me
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 09:11 PM
Jul 2021

I would ignore such a question were it directed at me.
I think you have even more reason to ignore it.

brer cat

(24,544 posts)
6. You are one of the unsung heroes.
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 09:16 PM
Jul 2021

It's a very hard job, physically and mentally, and you have kept yourself going for years. You get nothing but praise from me.

MyOwnPeace

(16,923 posts)
7. CAREGIVERS - keeping faith, hope, and love alive.......
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 09:22 PM
Jul 2021

not only for those that need the care, but for those giving the care - and all of those that know either........

hamsterjill

(15,220 posts)
8. If it's one thing I've learned in my 60-plus years
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 09:27 PM
Jul 2021

It is that you (yourself) are the only person to answer that question. Listen to your answer. Be damn proud of your answer and don’t let yourself compare your situation to some Willy Nilly who isn’t facing anything near what you are dealing with.

Your mom needs you. She can count on you. That is plenty doing something.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
17. Yes. TY.
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 10:00 PM
Jul 2021

Sadly the insurance companies make it hard for us. Today Hospice left us today. She is not dying fast enough for BCBS. So we are on our own again.

cally

(21,593 posts)
14. You have much to be proud of!!
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 09:48 PM
Jul 2021

thank you for all your care and attention to your family. I took care of my Mom (not as extensive as your Mom’s needs) but I know how hard it is and how others seem to belittle all of our efforts. You are doing incredible, important work and showing grace and love. What is more important?

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
20. My sister and I get angry with each other.
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 10:06 PM
Jul 2021

We yell. Then we get over it.

I have lived on my own for a very long time. I am not use to being around people 24/7. It is hard.

TY Gen.

peggysue2

(10,826 posts)
21. I don't think anyone understands how difficult caretaking is until you've done it
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 10:13 PM
Jul 2021

It's a 24/7 job unless you're lucky enough to have respites from other family members. It is physically difficult and emotionally draining. You're never certain you're doing the right thing, the right way although your try your damnedest. Some days you just want to sit down and cry. Some days that's exactly what you do. Then you dry the tears and do it all over again.

Anyone downplaying the importance of such a labor of love and exhausting responsibility is: Not. Worth. Talking. To.

I'm sending hugs from Tennessee, sheshe.

You're accomplishing more than most. Believe it! You've earned high-fives for life.



sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
51. It sounds like you have done this...
Thu Jul 8, 2021, 01:31 AM
Jul 2021

Or know someone that has.

Your insights are 100% spot on.

Everything you said. Thanks


It's a 24/7 job unless you're lucky enough to have respites from other family members. It is physically difficult and emotionally draining. You're never certain you're doing the right thing, the right way although your try your damnedest. Some days you just want to sit down and cry. Some days that's exactly what you do. Then you dry the tears and do it all over again.

niyad

(113,207 posts)
22. you have done MORE than enough. Anybody who knows the kind of caregiving that
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 10:16 PM
Jul 2021

you are doing knows this. And your presence here on DU is so incredibly valuable. YOU are so incredibly valuable.

If someone is challenging you to prove yourself, send the nitwit to me. My claws need sharpening about now.

I just saw what you said about hospice. Sending vibes for healing and strength and endurance.

nightwing1240

(1,996 posts)
26. Caring for your mother or any loved one, is a great accomplishment!
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 10:48 PM
Jul 2021

I do so for my mother who is soon to be 88 and still doing very well. She gave me the gift of life, I know no other way to repay that other than loving and helping her

Kudos to you and others that do the same!

summer_in_TX

(2,727 posts)
27. You've made it possible for the mother you so clearly love to live in her own home
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 10:54 PM
Jul 2021

with people who love her and she loves.

She gets to be with you two instead of strangers who would care for her without the love with which you care for her.

AND you helped her do something important to her and to the nation, to vote to kick that bum out of the People's House.

Caregiving is such a tough job and not everyone has the spiritual and physical resources and the LOVE to do what you are doing!



 

Laura PourMeADrink

(42,770 posts)
28. Even though you acted like I was lying that my
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 11:22 PM
Jul 2021

Dad died of covid. ( Saved your quotes so don't deny)

I chose to believe you that life is very rough for you. So sorry.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
50. Post them.
Thu Jul 8, 2021, 01:19 AM
Jul 2021

I have no clue what you are talking about. You saved them, then post them. I said you lied about your dad dying of COVID? I want to see the direct quotes you saved.

Funny.

A long time ago we had pretty good conversations. I thought your name was about Laura Petrie, and Rob asking for a drink. You explained at the time you meant George. We had a laugh.

Post the saved quotes. Post them or it didn't happen. You are accusing me of being a vicious uncaring person. Post them.

 

Laura PourMeADrink

(42,770 posts)
52. Having reread the angry chain, I see now that I must
Thu Jul 8, 2021, 10:38 AM
Jul 2021

have taken your words "you said your father died of covid" as "you SAY your father died of covid" like you didn't believe me. I remember it infuriated me. But I see now that I jumped to conclusions. I apologize. All I can say is that I think I must have been in shock and still have so much anger built up over trump not warning us early on. Including the government of CT for not regulating nursing homes well enough to enforce separation when contagion abounds.

Again, sorry.

https://democraticunderground.com/100213694864

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
53. I appreciate your apology. I sincerely do. Even if it is one year after the fact.
Thu Jul 8, 2021, 05:42 PM
Jul 2021

However I accept that.

I am saddened that you held a 'perceived' something that I never said and held a grudge against me for an entire year. It explains a lot about your comments on my threads that followed and a group we served on together. You never acknowledged that I gave you heartfelt condolences to you on your fathers death in that thread.

Thank you. You hurt me, however I appreciate your apology.

https://democraticunderground.com/100213694864

3Hotdogs

(12,358 posts)
30. Were either your mom or dad war veterans? If so, they (you) are entitled to financial assistance.
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 11:27 PM
Jul 2021

Each county has a V.A. office.

if not,

Have you contacted the local social worker, if one exists.


I don't know what state you live in.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
41. My dad was a vet.
Wed Jul 7, 2021, 07:54 PM
Jul 2021

WWII, officer on a minesweeper stationed in the Pacific right before Pearl Harbor. They were awaiting orders to sweep the Sea of Japan...I think that was what it was called. No, never knew benefits were available...he died more than six years ago.

TY

3Hotdogs

(12,358 posts)
42. If you can't find the VA office, look for an American Legion post.
Wed Jul 7, 2021, 08:03 PM
Jul 2021

They can also assist in processing applications.

There is supposed to be a VA office in every county. Try the county clerk’s office.

mcar

(42,287 posts)
59. That is very good advice, she
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 08:02 PM
Jul 2021

I'd also contact another hospice. The one I worked for went overboard to make sure vets and their families got all the benefits accorded them.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
61. My understanding?
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 08:14 PM
Jul 2021

It is Blue Cross calling the shots. They are pissed that mom is costing them to much. Hospice has been a gem.

mcar

(42,287 posts)
71. It is so sad to see our loved ones, our parents, decline
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 09:51 PM
Jul 2021

My mother died at 62 of ovarian cancer. Seeing her waste away was just awful.

AllaN01Bear

(18,101 posts)
31. time to take care of them. mine are all gone . mom , dad , aunt , uncle .
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 11:29 PM
Jul 2021

the elder generation is gone , bue my dear sheshe2 you are doing good work for her.. i hope someone is around for me . i do have someone who drives me to drs apts. shopping. etc. two times a week( this gentleman is paied by an outside source ..). ive wrestled with 02 for my gmaand i wished we had the potable units like we do now . where i live , pg and e will give you a very expensive battery that has an inverter to power medical devices . my worker has one for his pap machine . hem , he uses it to run the refrigerator whilst generator runs lights and pap machine . battery is free from what i understand . bless u dear sheshe2 .

 

monkeyman1

(5,109 posts)
32. your top's !
Tue Jul 6, 2021, 11:30 PM
Jul 2021

been there ,done that ! in 81' quit my job & took care of my dad. bad heart ,oxygen & doctor appointments. if i had it to do again , i do it all over again! no question! after he passed on , my company rehired me & no time an grade lost. my job was travel all over the world ! so, feel proud ! i always have !

monkey man 1 !

Chili

(1,725 posts)
34. same thing happened to me
Wed Jul 7, 2021, 01:21 AM
Jul 2021

I had been laid off when our help desk was outsourced to Canada. I looked for a job for 4 months until I gave up... my Mom had caregivers come in twice a day while I was working, but no positions paid enough for me to afford that any more. So it was just me taking care of her 24/7. It is so difficult not to ever get a break. No matter how good a job I did taking care of her, it was emotionally taxing and exhausting. When she caught pneumonia, which eventually took her life, it took years for me to forgive myself... what did I do, or didn't do, to cause that to happen? Nothing, but it still didn't leave my head for a very long time. And the guilt of feeling tired and needing a break... There is no question that I went through PTSD for months. I decided to learn how to write a screenplay, and finished it dedicating every moment to her... the only thing that kept me sane during those months. I finally found a job 3 months after losing her, and I've thought... she helped me find that job. It didn't pay enough - household income had dropped from $85,000 (me working, Mom's pension) to $24,000 - with a mortgage. But I got through it and met two people who are still dear friends, even though we've all moved on from that job. It's been many years, now, but I still feel that guilt when I'm stressed out, and I think of her and talk to her every day for solace. But what you're going through... bless you and may you stay strong; you are doing what your heart needs to, for your love for her, and it is the most important thing right now. What have you done? Not even a question. You are an angel of strength.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
47. 24/7 is enough to kill you when there are two.
Wed Jul 7, 2021, 09:54 PM
Jul 2021

You alone, I can't or perhaps can imagine what you went through.

This is our retirement years. I am late 60's and my sister just turned 70.

No matter how good a job I did taking care of her, it was emotionally taxing and exhausting. When she caught pneumonia, which eventually took her life, it took years for me to forgive myself... what did I do, or didn't do, to cause that to happen? Nothing, but it still didn't leave my head for a very long time.


None of that was your fault. Never your fault, you did all you could have done to protect her. No one can completely understand the emotional responsibility and the endless exhaustion. We worry that we may eff up and she falls and we were not able to catch her, that she may die on my watch because I nodded off for a time.

That we did this during COVID and had to let all the hospice caretakers go was to say the least difficult. Mom only got vaxed a few months ago. Not a priority as she is housebound.

You did good for your mom.

Love and hugs to you and yours, Chili.

Chili

(1,725 posts)
54. sheshe, great big hug for you too
Thu Jul 8, 2021, 09:00 PM
Jul 2021

... I needed to read that today in the worst way.

Oh and yes, how difficult with the pandemic going on. Great admiration for you both. You keep hanging tough, and so glad that the two of you can share the caregiving tasks. Best thing is, if you have a rough day, you have someone to talk to and you can help each other out!

 

CrackityJones75

(2,403 posts)
35. That question
Wed Jul 7, 2021, 02:03 AM
Jul 2021

That question was asked in the thread demanding that we “FFS! Wake Up”.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=15583054

personally I never questioned what you have done because I know from reading these forums for a long time how involved you are. But I think a lot of people took that as an insult to them personally (whether you intended it that way or not) and the question was asked what are you doing in return. That seemed rational to me. My question was “Ok now what?” What else should I be doing? I am already doing, giving, and trying to change as many minds as I possibly can while raising two kids, and assisting teo older parents. The other reason that I asked that question is because there seems to be a lot more posts here hinting at violence. No I do not believe that your post was calling for that. But the number of posts that keep ratcheting up the sense of emergency and mixed with the nee calls for violence I have seen is creating an aura that feels…. Not quite right.

We have to trust the people we elected to get the job done. They need our help in thoughtful manner that comes with a resolve and clear thinking. I look at a leader like Stacey Abrams and think about her calm resolve to bring about change. She talks strongly but clearly and not in a hair on fire manner but with a message of strength and yes also of urgency.

I don’t know but the message that accuses others of not being aware of the situation or of not doing enough doesn’t seem the right tone to me on a forum where we all are supposed to be here to support democrats and the platform.

But then again I know that your post wasn’t to insult anyone either. I know that. Like you I am scared for our future. But right now is the time for clear thinking and calculated measures to have the greatest effect in combatting what is happening. I think chaos is our worst enemy right now.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
62. hm.
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 08:45 PM
Jul 2021
The other reason that I asked that question is because there seems to be a lot more posts here hinting at violence. No I do not believe that your post was calling for that. But the number of posts that keep ratcheting up the sense of emergency and mixed with the nee calls for violence I have seen is creating an aura that feels…. Not quite right.


I have not seen one DUer "hinting" at violence and I most certainly never called for any. I call for people to get off their collective ass and vote. Black people do at a higher rate that white people.

I don’t know but the message that accuses others of not being aware of the situation or of not doing enough doesn’t seem the right tone to me on a forum where we all are supposed to be here to support democrats and the platform.


2014 midterm election turnout lowest in 70 years

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/2014-midterm-election-turnout-lowest-in-70-years

My post was not the right tone to you? I support Democrats every day and vote in each and every election.

Then why didn't they vote? I did.

Lowest turn out in 70 years.
Lowest turn out in 70 years.
Lowest turn out in 70 years.
Lowest turn out in 70 years.
Lowest turn out in 70 years.
Lowest turn out in 70 years.
Lowest turn out in 70 years.
Lowest turn out in 70 years.

KY_EnviroGuy

(14,489 posts)
36. You've contributed a great deal to DU and helped us along our path. Also....
Wed Jul 7, 2021, 04:05 AM
Jul 2021

you are very fortunate to be spending time with one of your parents in her later days, something I missed out on almost completely due to my work travels.

My parents and aunts and uncles all went through the Great Depression the hard way and I'm now regretting not spending lots of time with them just learning more about life and the rich history of my family on both sides. Perhaps you can spend some time documenting some of your family history.

You are a hero and wonderful humanist in my book...... ....... .......

keithbvadu2

(36,724 posts)
39. "So no, I really haven't done that much"... You're shortchanging yourself.
Wed Jul 7, 2021, 06:17 PM
Jul 2021

"So no, I really haven't done that much"... You're shortchanging yourself.

KentuckyWoman

(6,679 posts)
56. HUGS
Thu Jul 8, 2021, 11:34 PM
Jul 2021


Your sacrifices are huge for you and your Mom. They don't need to be big on the world stage to matter. You have done a hero's job. Don't shortchange your contribution. I don't even mean about the voting.

mcar

(42,287 posts)
58. You have accomplished so much she
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 07:58 PM
Jul 2021

Caring for an aged family member is truly at 24/7 job. You are a wonderful daughter!

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
60. I noticed you said your mom
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 08:11 PM
Jul 2021

was your soul job. That’s a really sweet thing to say. I took care of my mom, who had Dementia, for five years but I also worked. My day started very early because of changing her bed, making sure she was clean and dry and warm for the coming day. My son fed her lunch. When I got home I started the same ritual as in the morning. I got pretty obsessive about making sure her position in bed was changed every couple of hours by calling my son to make sure he helped her and by checking on her through the night to move her to make sure she didn’t get bed sores. She didn’t, even after five years of being bed-bound.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
65. Hi hon.
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 09:13 PM
Jul 2021

We did dementia for dad when I was working.

Mom, I am retired.

You and your family did good for your mom. Thank you for all you did.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
66. I have no regrets at all.
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 09:23 PM
Jul 2021

I still have her ashes. I have my son’s as well. Maybe I’ll just get cremated too and mix the ashes and have one grave. I don’t know. I don’t like thinking about my own mortality.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
68. Your son. ;(
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 09:31 PM
Jul 2021

Moms and Dads should not outlive their children. I am so sorry.

Mom lost her son, my brother 14 years ago.

MerryBlooms

(11,761 posts)
64. I saw your OP and some of the responses...
Fri Jul 9, 2021, 08:56 PM
Jul 2021
.

I have worked throughout this plague mess. Honestly, being on the frontline with and for my clients, and my elderly sis who lives with me... I too am exhausted and at times just want to hide in a cave for a week. My sister is declining, so my best friend now lives with us to care for her while I'm at work. I work 19.5 hours a week outside our home. Then, all the grocery, pharmacy, doc appointments, medication management... My friend helps me with the gardens, house work and then just being with my sister and keeping her company while I'm away. Plus, with the fire last year that took 2/3 of our mobile home park, there's No way I can leave my sister alone. Our fire danger is just as high this year, and the fire chief said we're no better prepared or manned this year. My sister no longer drives, and has her days/nights mixed up. So, it's critical with me on an early schedule, I have someone who can be a night owl here with my sister.

Like you, I'm exhausted. I am thinking it's time to give up my outside clients, but I desperately need the money, because I had to drain my savings to buy our place. I am an unhappy camper, but I smile and laugh with my sister and clients. Plus, the amount of pain I'm in every day from the strain on my already damaged body is really bad. I go in again in August to make sure all my back hardware is still in place and hopefully find out why my tremors in my legs and left arm are getting worse. The doc mentioned neurological issues, and I'm hoping he can throw a few more pills at me to get me through for a few more years!


Good luck to us both!

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
73. I am so sorry, just saw your post.
Tue Jul 13, 2021, 07:33 PM
Jul 2021

I just went through two days of hell with mom....

Like you, I am exhausted yet I just wanted to give you a hug.

Love you for all you do Merry Blooms.

MerryBlooms

(11,761 posts)
74. Don't be sorry one bit! I'm glad you made it through the two days
Tue Jul 13, 2021, 11:08 PM
Jul 2021

in one piece.

My body is betraying me these days, and it has me down. I am fused from my L2 into my pelvis and then all the rods and plates associated with the L2... I am hoping none of my hardware has shifted, or maybe hoping my hardware has shifted... My horrific legs cramps in my upper thighs and groin, and now my left arm, the nervous legs at night, tremors and stuttering. The physical strain of one client- he's a huge man and it involves transfers... I just don't know how much longer I can do my job. He and his family know I'm having problems health wise, and want me to stay, however, I think he needs a caregiver who is much bigger and stronger than me. They want to keep me, no matter what, even if it's only to cook, but that's not fair to my co-caregiver. Sometimes I come home after my shifts and the right side of my body is a combination of numbness and then the tremors. It's hard work.

You and your mom are still in my prayers. I pray for peace of mind and body for you both. My sister has good and bad days, but like with your mom, it's full time. Without my bestie here, I don't know what I'd do. The a/c guy had to come today, and my sis wasn't capable to deal with him, and I had to be at work. My friend was here and texted me updates while I was at work. It's getting more difficult, but you and I will get through this challenge.

Take care, sweetie.

sheshe2

(83,708 posts)
75. No.
Tue Jul 13, 2021, 11:39 PM
Jul 2021
I'm having problems health wise, and want me to stay, however, I think he needs a caregiver who is much bigger and stronger than me. They want to keep me, no matter what, even if it's only to cook, but that's not fair to my co-caregiver. Sometimes I come home after my shifts and the right side of my body is a combination of numbness and then the tremors
.

No. It is time for you to take care of yourself. Step back and think of yourself and your sis, no one else. I don't know what else to say. Some of it has to be about you or you will not be able to help them. You need to look after you.

I get it and it is hard, you are doing far more than I am. This is my only job.

lagomorph777

(30,613 posts)
76. You're doing great work.
Tue Jul 13, 2021, 11:57 PM
Jul 2021

I've been a caregiver for 35 years to a crazy and very ill person.

I feel you!

DU is my lifeline.

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