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Mon Jul 12, 2021, 11:38 AM

Police Officer Test

Police Officer Test

How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish officer? The answer is found below.

QUESTION: You’re a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the
corner, locks eyes with you and screaming something that sounds like
obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.

You are carrying your full belt of force options and are an expert in using them.
However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do?

ANSWERS:

Canadian Police Officer:

Firstly he must consider the person's human rights:

1) Does the man look mentally unstable, poor and/or oppressed?

2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the
law?

3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?

4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to
attack?

5) Am I dressed provocatively?

6) Could I run away?

7) Could I possibly swing my retractable asp baton and knock the knife out of his hand?

8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his
wrong-doings?

9) Why am I carrying so many destructive use of force options anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?

10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me?

11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?

12) If I raise my firearm and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head, suffers an injury or even worse, dies?

13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?

Australian Police Officer:

BANG!

American Police Officer:

BANG ! BANG !
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !

'Click'...Reload...

BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !

Glasgow Police Officer:

"Haw, Jimmie....! Drop the wee knife reet this minute noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse !”


15 replies, 1044 views

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 15 replies Author Time Post
Reply Police Officer Test (Original post)
Disaffected Jul 2021 OP
FoxNewsSucks Jul 2021 #1
WhiskeyGrinder Jul 2021 #2
gfwzig Jul 2021 #3
sarisataka Jul 2021 #4
WhiskeyGrinder Jul 2021 #6
StarryNite Jul 2021 #8
Treefrog Jul 2021 #9
PTWB Jul 2021 #12
Treefrog Jul 2021 #13
Lurker Deluxe Jul 2021 #15
The Magistrate Jul 2021 #5
Disaffected Jul 2021 #10
The Magistrate Jul 2021 #11
Treefrog Jul 2021 #14
abqtommy Jul 2021 #7

Response to Disaffected (Original post)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 11:43 AM

1. While the question doesn't specify,

from the American response, clearly it's not a white guy with that knife

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Response to Disaffected (Original post)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 11:45 AM

2. Eishia Hudson, Chantel Moore, Ejaz Choudry, Marty Powder -- to name but a few -- would not find this

funny.

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Response to Disaffected (Original post)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 11:48 AM

3. part of the problem is all usa police now use semi-auto pistols...as a gun owner

i have a semi 22 cal pistol.... i am a hunter,,, i can also say that it is impossible to fire a semi-auto pistol once and then lay it aside.... every time i use the gun i have an unquenchable desire to continue firing until it is empty.... police in the usa need to go back to guns that require the hammer to be pulled back before each shot.... the lone ranger never killed anybody but always shot the gun out of their hand.....

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Response to gfwzig (Reply #3)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 11:55 AM

4. Small suggestion

You should have a trusted friend take all of your guns and securely lock them so they are inaccessible to you. Make your friend promise to not give you access until after you have received therapy building your self-control.

Also- the Lone Ranger is a mythical character. He can do anything the writer says he can do.

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Response to gfwzig (Reply #3)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 12:08 PM

6. What the fuck is this shit right here.

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Response to gfwzig (Reply #3)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 02:26 PM

8. The Lone Ranger wasn't a real person.

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Response to gfwzig (Reply #3)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 02:28 PM

9. I'm going to assume this is sarcasm.

Surely you don’t hunt with a “pistol?”

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Response to Treefrog (Reply #9)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 05:44 PM

12. Hunting with pistols and revolvers is relatively common

 

Many states have dedicated handgun hunting seasons.

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Response to PTWB (Reply #12)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 05:45 PM

13. Well, yuck.

On every level.

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Response to PTWB (Reply #12)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 06:09 PM

15. However

Many states also have very strict rules on what can, or cannot, be shot at with a rimfire round. 22s are generally frowned upon for hunting anything. To small for most ground animals, and way to risky to shoot up into the air. very light bullet that goes a very long ways.

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Response to Disaffected (Original post)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 12:03 PM

5. The 'Canadian' Intro Is Bullshit

Ludicrous, offensive, white-right bullshit.

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Response to The Magistrate (Reply #5)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 02:47 PM

10. Lighten up,

it's satire. No logical person would take it seriously.

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Response to Disaffected (Reply #10)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 05:34 PM

11. You Picked A Damn Bad Day For It, Kiddo

If this is your first encounter with Poe's Law, learn and remember.

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Response to The Magistrate (Reply #11)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 05:46 PM

14. I truly do love your posts.

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Response to Disaffected (Original post)

Mon Jul 12, 2021, 02:19 PM

7. I support your right to use Poetic License in posting this hilarious info. I've bookmarked it.

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