Study Finds 70% Of Americans Have Less Than $1,000 Saved To Go To Space

[Bleacher Creature]

https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-70-of-americans-have-less-than-1-000-save-1847276074

Study Finds 70% Of Americans Have Less Than $1,000 Saved To Go To Space

STANFORD, CA—A new study released Monday by researchers from the Stanford Center on Poverty and Inequality found that 70% of Americans have less than $1,000 saved to go to space. “Our research suggests that the vast majority of Americans may be woefully unprepared for the dawn of the new space age,” aid study co-author Daniel Porter, who cited the high costs of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of rocket fuel and funding an a privately owned aerospace manufacturer as just two of the numerous financial obstacles the average American faced in launching themselves into space. “We found that it would take the majority of Americans decades to amass enough money to even consider going to space, let alone make it out of the stratosphere. If ever met with a sudden opportunity to go to space, it would certainly end up bankrupting them. Without generational wealth, the average American would have to rely on taking out a huge loan or receiving assistance from a government-funded program like NASA.” At press time, Porter added that the study also found most American parents hadn’t even started saving for their children’s trips to space.

[EYESORE 9001]

1. I'll probably never get closer to space

than near the summit of Mount Hood. My feet were still touching the earth. Oh, well…back to saving.

[jimfields33]

2. I'm sure most didn't have enough to fly at the beginning too

Or own a car or computer, black and white tv. Everything is ridiculously expensive until it’s not. I’m sure in 50 years Travelocity will have some sort of reasonable price for us to go.

[Jim__]

3. I have more than $1000 saved, but 0 saved to go to space.

[bluedigger]

4. How much do you suppose it would cost just to ship my ashes up there?

I like to set achievable goals.

[getagrip_already]

8. There was a company selling that...

Not all of your ashes, more like microgramms, and you would be mixed in with everyone else's micrograms, but they would send you into space.

[bluedigger]

13. I'm kind of a loner.

Maybe Estes has something more in my budget.

[Chainfire]

14. Well, it certainly cost less to ship ashes than asses. ;)

Ashes don't weigh much and they don't require life support systems.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

5. I love good satire

[crickets]

11. +1

[roamer65]

6. I was like WTF.

Then I saw The Onion.

[Wounded Bear]

7. My savings account has about $75 in it...

not really saving for a space jaunt.

[getagrip_already]

9. I keep trying to take up less space... not more...

But the law of thermodynamics is against me.

[rickyhall]

10. Because the billionaires have it all.

OMG. I was saving for food and rent, nobody told me I was supposed to be saving for space, too.

Where's my Tang?

[Sympthsical]

12. This is hilarious

Not only the space thing, but the constant media articles about X% of Americans haven't done or don't have Y. They're relentless.

This is great.

[Chainfire]

15. I might be able to support a one way fare, but not round trip.