How many times have you been married?

[NurseJackie]

After steadily rising for decades, overall divorce rates in the United States hit a 50-year low in 2019. While marriage advocates are celebrating the decline in broken unions, their joy may be short-lived.

Divorce rates are expected to spike again in the aftermath of the pandemic. After spending 24/7 together — with little outside social contact coupled with the financial, emotional and physical stress of the pandemic — some couples are taking a hard look at their marriage. For certain empty-nesters, the pandemic was a preview of what retirement with their spouse might look like, and they didn’t like what they saw.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/it-wont-end-with-bill-and-melinda-gates-get-ready-for-the-end-of-more-marriages-11626453904

POLL QUESTION: How many times have you been married?

68 votes, 1 pass | Time left: Unlimited
	Never
	10 (15%)
	Once. Still married.
	34 (50%)
	Once. Now divorced / widowed.
	10 (15%)
	Twice. Still married.
	8 (12%)
	Twice. Now divorced / widowed.
	5 (7%)
	Three times. Still married.
	1 (1%)
	Three times. Now divorced / widowed.
	0 (0%)
	Four times. Still married.
	0 (0%)
	Four times. Now divorced / widowed.
	0 (0%)
	I'm kinda like Elizabeth Taylor... I stopped counting at five.
	0 (0%)
	1 DU member did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[MaryMagdaline]

1. Once. Now widowed - not included on the list

[wryter2000]

6. Same here

After 25 years of marriage.

[MaryMagdaline]

8. Greetings

[Revanchist]

14. Same

[NurseJackie]

19. ...

I hadn't considered that for this poll. The story was about divorce... but I imagine that I (or someone) could come up with an interesting article and poll question to go with it regarding widowed spouses.

One of my closest friends lost her husband after 30 years. She's still young (well, you know) and vibrant... but she says she'll never marry again. Kinda like what Betty White said about Allen Ludden: "Once you've had the best, nothing else will do." (Or something like that.)

[NurseJackie]

32. Thanks for commenting... I updated the choices.

[MaryMagdaline]

52. Thank you.

Interesting point on remarriage. I wouldn’t marry again because marriage takes everything I have. Couldn’t go through the loss of another spouse and chances are, I would still outlive my new spouse. Even on a good day, marriage is work. I love not having to answer to anyone.

[Dial H For Hero]

2. Age 59, never, and almost certainly never will be.

[NurseJackie]

45. I have a few friends that are perfectly happy being single.

I didn't understand (at first) that people could be happy and single at the same time... I was always trying to encourage them to "keep looking" (and even worse: play matchmaker) but I eventually realized that having a spouse/mate isn't absolutely necessary to be happy and fulfilled.

[MaryMagdaline]

55. I love the freedom I have. I'm sorry for my husband. He absolutely

Loved life and would have maxed out his enjoyment of life. I miss HIM but not the restrictions of marriage. Couldn’t make those sacrifices a second time.

[Poiuyt]

60. I got married for the first time at age 63

I was worried that I wouldn't be able to live with someone else, but it has been the most natural thing imaginable.

[wryter2000]

3. Once, now widowed n/t

n/t

[ProfessorGAC]

4. Once

41 years last March. We met June 2, 1978, at 11:30pm.
I remembered that second part, not my wife!

[brush]

5. Widowed. No category listed.

[NewHendoLib]

7. will be celebrating our 41st in December. Just gets better and better!

we met at a party April 7, 1979!

[Vinca]

9. 48 years and counting.

[Maeve]

58. Three years behind you

Married during the Bicentennial.

[AllaN01Bear]

10. never been married .

[mnhtnbb]

11. Twice: divorced once then widowed.

[Raftergirl]

12. Once.

Still married and celebrating 32 years next month.

[Bettie]

46. We'll hit 32 in December!

I love being married, but I married my best friend and person I'd rather spend time with than anyone else, so, it works.

Have a wonderful anniversary!

[Trailrider1951]

13. Just once

That was quite enough. Divorcing his sorry ass was one of my better decisions.

[lunatica]

15. Twice and frigging never again

I have come to the realization that I don’t thrive when married. I love living alone. I thrive when alone.

[NurseJackie]

20. Many people feel the way you do. I know a few who thrive alone...

... they enjoy their friends, and romantic companions (in small doses) but they PREFER to be alone!

It's not at all weird or unusual. I had to adjust my thinking (and stop encouraging them to "find someone&quot but finally I realized that they're very healthy and HAPPY!!!

[lunatica]

25. I've actually become somewhat of a hermit

I’m perfectly happy at home with only my cat for company.

[dweller]

16. Twice

and twice

Learned my lesson

✌🏻

[keithsw]

17. in April

made 41 years. 5 kids and 41 years, where does the time go?

[Buckeye_Democrat]

18. Once. Married a woman who turned out to be...

... a crack addict!

[NurseJackie]

21. Yikes!

[Buckeye_Democrat]

26. I honestly didn't know until AFTER I divorced her.

All I knew was that her behavior changed dramatically a few months into the marriage, and she had secretly put me in credit card debt through high-interest rate ATM cash withdrawals. That was back in the days of banking without the internet, and she always got the mail before I did... until one day when I returned home from work early and saw one of the long credit card statements nearly bursting out of the envelope from so many ATM transactions.

I later heard about her drug use from one of her friends. A few months after that, she was convicted of crack possession.

Edit: Her long-time friend also revealed to me that my ex-wife was a drug addict when she was younger, but she had kicked the habit before meeting me and during our 1.5 year courting / living together phase... which was a far happier time.

[NurseJackie]

33. My first marriage was to an abusive alcoholic...

... I was so naive, I didn't know what an alcoholic actually was. I was also so naive that he really did have me believing that it was my fault that he hit me, and that I deserved it, and that I was lucky that he'd have me at all "because nobody else would put up with me". Ugh.

It was a short marriage... no kids. I got out with the help of friends (and their money, and their safety) one day he came home to an empty house and I already had a lawyer. Whew!

So young. Live and learn.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

36. Wow! Double-yikes from your story!

We had no children either, thank goodness. That's yet another story!

About a week after our divorce, she told me that she was pregnant with my child! And I indeed slept with her during our pre-divorce separation, like a complete fool! I circled that date on my calendar, worried it might come back to bite me in the butt, and that seemed to be the case when she gave me the news.

She gave me a photo of the ultrasound as evidence of her pregnancy. It included the date it was taken (a few days before I heard about it) and a measurement of the crown-rump length of the fetus.

Long story short, I found an excellent book full of statistics related to crown-rump length and the age of the fetus since conception. It didn't come close to matching the date that we had sex! The probability that I was the father was worse than something like 1 in 100,000.

I approached her with that information, and she admitted to me weeks later that she knew I wasn't the buological father. By then, she had aborted it. (Which I also didn't know until after the fact.)

She told her mother that a cocaine dealer was the father, and her mother told her that she had to trick me into being the father instead! At least that's what my ex-wife told me, but it seemed probable to me since her mother was very conniving and manipulative. (By the way, she told me this part about a YEAR later when I saw her in public and we briefly talked. By then, I'd also learned about her drug addiction.)

[NurseJackie]

38. We'd make for a couple of Jerry Springer episodes.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

41. LOL, that's how it felt!

Not that I'd EVER be a guest on such a show, but I remember thinking that way back then! It was like, "How did my life suddenly become a Jerry Springer nightmare?!"

[Throck]

22. Once 37 years.

Soul mate. Thick and thin and thick and thin.

Too tired to fight about anything at our age.

She never tires of my bad comedy.

Our eyes are going and we look better to each other every day.

[NurseJackie]

23. You rock!

[Throck]

50. I also cook.

Changed a bazillion cloth diapers for my kids too.

I guess the lesson is to adapt and share chores.

My wife is working right now. I just finished the dishes.

She doesn't complain about my flatulence.......

[Srkdqltr]

24. 56 years married. First and only.

[bluedigger]

27. Once burned, twice shy.

It's been over 3 decades since the divorce. I'm going to be a catch once I qualify for social security.

[NurseJackie]

39. ...

[Ms. Toad]

28. Our 40th anniversary is on 9/11. n/t

[NurseJackie]

40. My sister's birthday is on 9/11...

... at first she felt like she was also a victim of the attacks. But, she realized differently in time.

Now, the alzheimer's has taken away almost everything. She still has language (and reading) abilities... but I don't think she recognizes me anymore. Weird how alzheimer's affects people in different ways, different levels, etc. She knows that something is wrong, so she "fakes it" and pretends to remember when she doesn't really.

[liberaltrucker]

29. Twice

NEVER AGAIN!!!

[NurseJackie]

42. Sorry.

(Are you really a trucker, or do you just drive a pickup like I do?)

[liberaltrucker]

44. Retired OTR trucker.

Nothing to be sorry about. Totally my screw ups.

[arthritisR_US]

30. Married once and widowed once.

[NurseJackie]

43. ...

[arthritisR_US]

57. You're such a dear heart, thank you luv😘

[yonder]

31. once, and looking at our 37th next month

I'm a lucky, lucky guy.

[NurseJackie]

34. Yes you are! Congrats!

[hunter]

35. I'm a boring monogamous person 30+ years with adult children.

It's a good thing I didn't marry the first person who asked.

That relationship ended when I jumped out of her moving car and left some skin and blood on the streets of Berkeley.

My reckless and impulsive action probably saved us both from much worse and I earned bragging rights that I bled more.

It was a long bus ride home. Nobody would sit next to me.

I've suffered two PTSD panic attacks since at the very same spot, both a little awkward to explain to my wife and friends.

I wasn't much bothered last time I was in the neighborhood so maybe I'm over it.

The last I saw my ex was at a Silicon Valley convention. We pretended we didn't know one another.

It's possible she still wants to kill me.

[NurseJackie]

37. For years... YEARS!!... I had PTSD (and nightmares) about my abuser.

For years... YEARS!!... I had PTSD (and nightmares) about my abuser. Then when I found out he had died, I was relieved! I felt no grief, no sadness, no sympathy... just RELIEF!

Even after our short-lived marriage ended, his negative impact on me lasted FAR into my life. I hated him for it.

He ended up being an unemployed alcoholic, chain cigarette smoker, spending money he didn't have on pot smoker, in-debt up to his eyeballs, no-car, diabetic, high-blood pressure, overweight... the only mystery is why he didn't die sooner.

[hunter]

49. Took me a while to forgive my naive young self...

[Talitha]

47. Married once, almost 48 years ago. Only had one fight so far...

and the damn thing is STILL going on.

[NurseJackie]

48. Not bad! You have a lot to be proud of...

... I think.

[Throck]

51. We usually forget what we were fighting about.

Senility has its blessings.

Where the hell are my car keys?

[Wounded Bear]

53. Married twice, divorced twice. Decided I'm not very good at it...nt

[MarineCombatEngineer]

54. Only married once to my true soul mate,

lost her a few years ago to cancer.

I will never get married again, it wouldn't be fair to any woman as I would be comparing her against my beloved departed wife.

[MerryBlooms]

56. Once. Widowed in 2002.

[Danmel]

59. Once, still married. Will be 33 years in October

Can't complain. 2 nice grown kids, a few cats, a comfortable home. Could be worse.