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kpete

(71,986 posts)
Thu Jul 22, 2021, 02:21 PM Jul 2021

Bat-Wielding Jim Jordan Bursts Through Capitol Window Demanding To Be Allowed Onto Jan. 6 Committee

WASHINGTON—Shoving down barriers, sprinting up the steps, and smashing his fist through a thick pane of glass, bat-wielding Representative Jim Jordan (R-OH) burst through a Capitol window Thursday and demanded to be allowed onto a committee investigating the events of January 6th. “The January 6th committee was stolen,” yelled Jordan, while he and other representatives, including Rep. Jim Banks (R-IND), stormed through the House chamber, scribbling graffiti on statues, pepper-spraying police officers, and smearing his feces on the walls of Congress. “This entire investigation into the riots is a farce, but today, the probe will be reborn. We, the silent majority, will find out who really stormed the Capitol after the 2020 election. Finally, the truth will be revealed!” At press time, Jordan was spotted being transported to Walter Reed military hospital after allegedly suffering a heart attack while attempting to pick up a lectern and throw it against Nancy Pelosi’s office door.


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You know it's fake, 'cause he's wearing a sportcoat.
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Bat-Wielding Jim Jordan Bursts Through Capitol Window Demanding To Be Allowed Onto Jan. 6 Committee (Original Post) kpete Jul 2021 OP
With MTG right behind him. Tomconroy Jul 2021 #1
But he did it with love! Hekate Jul 2021 #2
ROFL BeckyDem Jul 2021 #3
why does he always look grey? wryter2000 Jul 2021 #4
He's trying to save the ladies Fullduplexxx Jul 2021 #5
He's readying himself to save the ladies Fullduplexxx Jul 2021 #6
He's readying himself to save the ladies Fullduplexxx Jul 2021 #7
Gym even wore his suit jacket for the occasion. sop Jul 2021 #8
I love good satire LetMyPeopleVote Jul 2021 #9
Threatens to hereafter go shirtless. Sneederbunk Jul 2021 #10
God bless The Onion, now and forever more. (nt) Paladin Jul 2021 #11

wryter2000

(46,039 posts)
4. why does he always look grey?
Thu Jul 22, 2021, 02:27 PM
Jul 2021

It's not just his hair and beard. His skin looks grey. It looks unhealthy.

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