I got this weird magazine in the mail today...

[Archae]

The strangest part is I never asked for, or ordered it.
Has all these "Biblical prophesies" in it about what the "Beast" will look like.

There's just one small problem with "Biblical prophesies."
They always FAIL.

The web site is here:
https://www.amazingfacts.org/

The covers says:
"America In Bible Prophesy"

Except America is NOT in any "Bible prophesy."

And like all others, they ask for donations.

[Yonnie3]

1. You can donate!

The magazine to your local recycling.

[Archae]

2. Oh, that I'm going to do.

Ever actually read the book of Revelation?

It reads like an LSD trip, or what a guy who ate "magic mushrooms" would see.

[yellowdogintexas]

7. It does, doesn't it! My ministers

(all with PhDs from top notch seminaries) tell us that the whole thing was written as code for the Early Christians. I have a hard time imagining the code breakers.

Folks who take that thing literally absolutely scare me to death I prefer to think of it as Sci Fi or Fantasy myself

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

28. I was raised Roman Catholic, which means I never got around to reading the Bible

until I was an adult. At least in my youth, we were absolutely not encouraged to read the Bible on our own. And at mass, I'm pretty sure all we ever got were limited readings from the New Testament. So when I finally got around to reading the Old Testament it was exactly like science fiction. And I've read lots and lots of s-f from the time I learned to read.

[Hekate]

8. Very trippy, leading to some speculation about John of Patmos' recreational habits...

I have one really intriguing factoid from a Lutheran minister I used to know, about the Book of Revelation. He said that at the time it was written, it was actually quite a popular literary genre around the Mediterranean Sea, and not a unique production.

[Xavier Breath]

9. We were somewhere around Megiddo

on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.

[mahina]

16. Of course

Bats!
/And I love Jesus, I truly do, I am not kidding

[yonder]

26. That's a plus 1, for sure.

[Yonnie3]

23. No, I've not read the book beginning to end, just excerpts.

Folks have quoted it to me as prediction of various happenings that I give little credibility.

Is the paper it was printed on suitable to roll with?

[yellowdogintexas]

6. line the birdcage or shred it up for your compost

I am in favor of the birdcage myself

[Chainfire]

3. I have a good idea which denomination sent it.

[Archae]

4. Did a little research...

7th-Day Adventists.

[yellowdogintexas]

5. that was my guess, without research

they are big into The End Times.

[multigraincracker]

20. Their tacts always seem to be

written for kids.

[Crunchy Frog]

10. I already know what the "Beast" looks like.

[rickyhall]

11. How many time have these idiots predicted the end of the world? We're still waiting...

The Late Great Planet Earth.

[Archae]

12. I remember that time...

During the Reagan years.

Had all these "predictions" about a nuclear war with the Soviet Union and China.

How come none of them "predicted" the Soviet Union falling apart, and China going capitalist? (And corrupt of course...)

Simple. Yet another "prophet" who FAILED.

[rickyhall]

14. It seems to happen about every ten years or so.

[malaise]

13. But does it have the Slobfather's photo

Last edited Sat Jul 31, 2021, 09:24 PM - Edit history (1)

next to the prophesy about the beast?

[Blue Owl]

24. Skidmark of the beast found in Slobfather's undergarments

[malaise]

25. ROFL

[alphafemale]

15. I thought for sure it was going o be that ARRP recycle bin crap

It was really hard to get off their mailing list.

[Demovictory9]

18. or the type of stuff left in public laundry rooms (Watchtower, etc)

[viva la]

17. I got a book like that in the mail once--

Turned out everyone in town got it. It's a really expensive way to proselytize.

[multigraincracker]

21. Matthew 16:28

Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.


Happy 2,000 Birthday to someone.

[canetoad]

22. Tape the magazine

To a block of hardwood, roughly the same shape and weight as a small encyclopaedia. Package it up and post it to:

Amazing Facts
P.O. Box 1058
Roseville, CA 95678-8058

Don't use any stamps.

[yonder]

27. gotta use nails, not tape.