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NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:40 PM Aug 2021

Do you personally know anyone who's committed suicide?

Last edited Mon Aug 2, 2021, 06:09 PM - Edit history (1)

I just read the story about the DC Metro Police Officer who just committed suicide, so I thought I'd ask if anyone you know or love has attempted suicide.

And, while I'm on the subject, I'll just leave this here:

https://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Do you personally know anyone who's committed suicide?


118 votes, 1 pass | Time left: Unlimited
Yes... they were successful.
107 (91%)
No... but I know someone who tried unsuccessfully.
6 (5%)
No... I don't know anyone who's attempted suicide.
5 (4%)
Show usernames
Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll
84 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Do you personally know anyone who's committed suicide? (Original Post) NurseJackie Aug 2021 OP
Yes, successfully. Also, attempted, unsuccessfully. mahatmakanejeeves Aug 2021 #1
I think that would be good. Thank you. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #3
This should be an OP wryter2000 Aug 2021 #13
Define suicide... brooklynite Aug 2021 #2
That's interesting, but in the context of today's news and the suicide PREVENTION info provided... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #7
Right. I personally do not define that as suicide but as compassionate. Interesting point. LizBeth Aug 2021 #18
Yes. Four. Two were fathers who did it in front of their kids. 2 were Vets that couldn't get care. Runningdawg Aug 2021 #4
Yes, and it's never far from my mind either. lagomorph777 Aug 2021 #5
Yours isn't pointless. Many people are enriched by you. grantcart Aug 2021 #72
I talked an ex girlfriend down. She was freaking out about her older boyfriend who was playing her brewens Aug 2021 #6
Both Yes -successful and No -tried but not successful. haele Aug 2021 #8
Well, it's complicated. Another Jackalope Aug 2021 #9
I'm sorry. How tragic. Thanks for sharing that. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #11
never fully recover LizBeth Aug 2021 #20
Yeah, but it really is all of the above. lagomorph777 Aug 2021 #24
I view it as both triumph and tragedy Another Jackalope Aug 2021 #28
Two of my friends MFM008 Aug 2021 #10
Sadly yes Danmel Aug 2021 #12
Yes, 3 coworkers and my sister. My sister was a psychologist and taught suicide prevention. sinkingfeeling Aug 2021 #14
My own daughter in 2013 padfun Aug 2021 #15
Only friends & acquaintances for me... I don't know if I could handle what you've been through. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #16
Father. Igel Aug 2021 #17
At least three which were definite suicides bluecollar2 Aug 2021 #19
Lots of my old classmates from multigraincracker Aug 2021 #21
Yes. My partner committed suicide ten years ago... First Speaker Aug 2021 #22
Let's go with its good MissB Aug 2021 #70
Yes. My best friend. I talked to him in the morning and he took his life that night. madinmaryland Aug 2021 #23
my spouse has come very close twice to attempting... Takket Aug 2021 #25
One option is missing in your poll Shrek Aug 2021 #26
Yeah you're right. I guess it's nearly impossible to account for every possibility. I'm just... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #31
I knew five that I recall immediately DFW Aug 2021 #27
Yes - two successful and one unsuccessful Initech Aug 2021 #29
A lovely young woman hermetic Aug 2021 #30
How does anyone get over it? The guilt and wondering why... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #32
3 friends succeeded. 1 friend did not and had brain damage and paralysis, 2 acquaintances from high chowder66 Aug 2021 #33
Could only choose one option, but beaglelover Aug 2021 #34
Yeah... there are so many different possibilities and combinations... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #41
My cousin Freddie Aug 2021 #35
An uncle when I was 13. greatauntoftriplets Aug 2021 #36
Five people gypsy11 Aug 2021 #37
I've known 10 people that I can remember GusBob Aug 2021 #38
Yes. gay texan Aug 2021 #39
An old classmate of mine put a bullet in his head at the same age... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #47
You know I think it was the same thing gay texan Aug 2021 #62
and I know... AmBlue Aug 2021 #40
My god... so tragic. I'm sorry. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #42
Yes, truly. AmBlue Aug 2021 #51
Yes, Three ProfessorGAC Aug 2021 #43
My brother-in-law. First attempt was unsuccessful. Second one worked. Blaukraut Aug 2021 #44
Two people. One a lady that worked for me. GulfCoast66 Aug 2021 #45
A high school friend shot himself New Year's Eve 1982- callous taoboy Aug 2021 #46
I've heard (but don't know if it's true) that suicide can be... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #49
two co-workers... no one in the family Demovictory9 Aug 2021 #48
Yes, a lifelong friend who was part of my HS friend circle jumped off a 20 story building several BannonsLiver Aug 2021 #50
One friend attempted it Meowmee Aug 2021 #52
An aquaintance I knew in highschool MustLoveBeagles Aug 2021 #53
This message was self-deleted by its author MustLoveBeagles Aug 2021 #54
Unfortunately, I've know several people who have committed suicide. One of them ... Brother Mythos Aug 2021 #55
Yes, years ago, my boss. Yes me, I attempted suicide. marie999 Aug 2021 #56
... NurseJackie Aug 2021 #64
... MustLoveBeagles Aug 2021 #81
I know of but not personally mcar Aug 2021 #57
A teenage next-door neighbor boy tried suicide... Buckeye_Democrat Aug 2021 #58
2 immediate family members 48656c6c6f20 Aug 2021 #59
my nephew onethatcares Aug 2021 #60
I knew one suicide Marthe48 Aug 2021 #61
Cousin Bettie Aug 2021 #63
Way too many. My mother, my brother, an uncle... bif Aug 2021 #65
I'm so sorry. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #66
... MustLoveBeagles Aug 2021 #83
My wife's brother Poiuyt Aug 2021 #67
Five people close to me Sympthsical Aug 2021 #68
That's horrible. I'm so sorry. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #69
It completely destroyed that family Sympthsical Aug 2021 #74
My nephew MissB Aug 2021 #71
Yes, and you're going to be amazed jmowreader Aug 2021 #73
Yes - successful; yes - unsuccessful. Ms. Toad Aug 2021 #75
My brother's wife Nonhlanhla Aug 2021 #76
A terminally ill friend/acquaintance chose to put a bullet in his head... very sad. NurseJackie Aug 2021 #77
It's not always a gender thing Nonhlanhla Aug 2021 #78
A college roommate of mine killed himself shortly before our 20th reunion dsc Aug 2021 #79
I personally knew three who were successful, and knew the parents of two teenagers niyad Aug 2021 #80
my dad Skittles Aug 2021 #82
A college-age sister of frogmarch Aug 2021 #84

mahatmakanejeeves

(60,515 posts)
1. Yes, successfully. Also, attempted, unsuccessfully.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:42 PM
Aug 2021

Thanks for the thread.

I used to run a big thread every now and then that was loaded with links. If you don't mind, I'd like to run it again. Hmmm. It's been three and a half years.

I'm not trying to hijack the thread, just add information. I hope that's okay.

Here we go:

Fri Jul 14, 2017: With student suicides on the rise in Loudoun County, parents say school leaders lack compassion

With student suicides on the rise in Loudoun County, parents say school leaders lack compassion

Thursday, Jul. 13, 2017 by Chantalle Edmunds and Amelia Heymann, Times-Mirror Staff Writers

Mental health professionals say compassion is vital in helping a child deal with suicidal thoughts. But several Loudoun County parents say compassion is lacking from local school leaders in charge of thousands of students, scores of whom are coping with depression and anxiety.

Loudoun County has seen a sharp rise in teen suicides over the past two years. In 2015, there was just one teenage suicide reported to the Loudoun County Sheriff's Office. In 2016, there were five, and there have been at least three teen suicides thus far in 2017.

{snip}



Jake Kotin hung himself at Stone Bridge High School in December 2016. Courtesy Photo

{snip}

Changes afoot

{snip}

LCPS is bolstering its mental health staffing for the 2017-2018 school year, including eight social workers, eight school counselors, five psychologists and two student assistance specialists. Byard didn't comment on whether this move was related in any way to the rise in teenage suicides, but the spokesman referred to Superintendent Williams’ words in his 2018 budget presentation. Williams said staffing standards were being increased to “build on existing efforts to promote mental wellness and resiliency, increase early detection, provide social and emotional support and encourage help-seeking behavior and access to mental health treatment.”

{snip}

***

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) is a free, 24/7 confidential service that can provide people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress, or those around them, with support, information, and local resources. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Contact Amelia Heymann at aheymann@virginianewsgroup.com and Chantalle Edmunds at cedmunds@virginianewsgroup.com.

Thu Jan 18, 2018: Posting links in light of suicide of Washington State quarterback.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255 and other resources

The story, hat tip to ARLnow.com: Morning Notes News by ARLnow.com — April 14, 2015 at 8:55 am

Notice to the Community

by Ginger Ambler | April 13, 2015

Vice President for Student Affairs Ginger Ambler sent the following message to the campus community April 13, 2015 - Ed.

Dear William & Mary Community,

There is no message worse than the one I share with you today. With profound sadness, I am writing to tell you of the death of one of our students, {P. S.}, a sophomore from Arlington, Va., who took his own life in the early morning hours today. The WMPD responded immediately after receiving a 911 call from one of his friends.

In 2013 {P. S.} graduated first in his class from Washington-Lee High School in Arlington, VA. A talented student, he had yet to declare a major at W&M. {P. S.} was also a passionate performer. In January he played one of the swashbucklers in Sinfonicron Light Opera Company's The Pirates of Penzance, and he was to have performed this month in the premiere of a new W&M student-written, faculty-directed play. Many on campus have delighted in {P. S.'s} talent and wit, enjoying especially his comedic flair as a member of the university's Improvisational Theater (I.T.).

{snip}

TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES AND OUR COMMUNITY

This has been a difficult and painful year for the William & Mary family and many of us are grieving. I hope the following might be useful in the days and months ahead. Especially in the wake of the deaths that have affected our community, I want to share some information specifically about suicide and suicide prevention.

About Suicide

According to national resources such as the Jed Foundation and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), one in ten college students has at one time considered suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death nationally among those 15-24 years of age. Almost all who die by suicide are suffering from an emotional disorder, most commonly depression. As the AFSP notes, "90% of all people who die by suicide have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder at the time of their death." Therefore, identifying and treating these illnesses is especially important; someone with an untreated emotional disorder may be more likely to attempt suicide in the wake of stressful life events.

Recognizing Warning Signs

The most effective way to help in preventing suicide is to recognize warning signs, take those signs seriously, and respond appropriately. Fortunately, people who are suicidal CAN be helped with the proper treatment. Common warning signs of suicide include:
•Hopelessness
•Rage, uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge
•Acting recklessly or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking
•Feeling trapped, like there is no way out
•Increased alcohol or drug use
•Withdrawing from friends, family, and society
•Anxiety, agitation, inability to sleep or sleeping all the time
•Dramatic mood changes
•Expressing no reason for living or no purpose in life
•Inability to see the future without pain
•Inability to make decisions or think clearly
•Decision to stop taking prescribed medication for depression or other psychological disorder
•Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide

How To Respond if You are Concerned About Someone
•DO Listen and offer support in a non-judgmental way
•DO Help the person explore feelings
•DO Widen options and explore alternatives for problem solving
•DO Ask direct questions about the person's intentions; ask if the person is considering suicide
•DO Communicate your concern for the person's well being
•DO Recommend that the person contact a mental health professional
•DO Call a professional yourself and offer to accompany the person to an initial appointment
•DO Call the police if you believe the risk of suicide is immediate
•DON'T say "everything will be alright"
•DON'T dare the person to "do it"
•DON'T tell the person about someone who "has it worse"
•DON'T promise secrecy to the suicidal person
•DON'T leave the person alone if you believe the risk of suicide is imminent

William & Mary Resources

There are many campus resources available to give assistance to you and/or someone else in crisis. Looking out for friends and loved ones is an especially important part of helping to prevent suicide. In a community as close-knit as ours, we can do a great deal to reach out to one another in support.

EMERGENCY -- Call 911

The Counseling Center, {area code, 757} 221-3620

The Student Health Center, 221-4386

The W&M Police, 221-4596

The Dean of Students Office, 221-2510

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255

After hours, the dispatcher at the police department coordinates communication with all on-call professionals, including live-in residence life staff, the dean on-call, and the counselor on-call.

From July: Need help? In the U.S. or Canada, call 1-800-273-8255

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline



Ayuda en Español

¿Qué pasa cuando llamo?

Cuando usted llama al número 1-888-628-9454, su llamada se dirige al centro de ayuda de nuestra red disponible más cercano. Tenemos actualmente 150 centros en la red y usted hablará probablemente con uno situado en su zona. Cada centro funciona en forma independiente y tiene su propio personal calificado.

Veterans Crisis Line



Young Adults

ETA this comment to the article at Gawker:

Mississippi Tea Party Leader Commits Suicide After Conspiracy Arrest

jtstillwater {responding to Allie Jones}
Yesterday 12:18pm

Before anyone jokes about this guy's suicide, I should say that whenever someone with a mental illness (hi!) reads about a suicide, there's a certain amount of fear — the thought process is sort of like, "Well I always tell myself I wouldn't do it, but clearly some people do, so what's saying that won't change?"

No question he did something awful, no question his political beliefs are unreasonable. But suicide is a horror.

Suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255

And, yes, I do find this scary.

April really is the cruelest month (if I am not mistaken):

The Season of Renewal and Suicide

Dec. 7 2012 3:12 PM
Why are people more likely to kill themselves in springtime than during the holidays?

By Brian Palmer

The suicide rate does not peak during the holidays, and the media should stop saying it does, according to a report released Tuesday by the Annenberg Public Policy Center. In fact, the suicide rate is highest in spring and summer. The holiday suicide-spike myth persists because it has a convenient narrative: Lonely people become despondent around Christmastime. So why do people kill themselves in the spring?

Possibly because they interact more. Doctors first observed in the 1820s that suicide rates spike during late spring. Researchers have since postulated and tested all sorts of explanations for the global phenomenon, making this one of the most studied questions in psychiatry. There’s still no consensus, but evidence suggests it has to do with so-called sociodemographic factors. During the winter, many people go into semihibernation: They work less, see fewer people, and are exposed to less frustration and conflict. That all changes in the spring, when increased interaction with others and the stress of work may trigger suicidal thoughts. The theory is based on a couple of observations. First, the spring suicide peak is more pronounced among people employed on farms or in factories who experience greater seasonal variation in the intensity of work and social interactions. In addition, developing countries with a higher proportion of agricultural workers see more seasonal change in the suicide rate than do developed countries. The magnitude of seasonal changes in the suicide rate is more than 10 times higher in Uruguay, for example, than in Belgium. Researchers have also detected a smoothing out of the seasonal variation in suicides in recent decades as more people move from farm to office. (There are smaller peaks in other parts of the year. Cubicle workers are more likely to commit suicide in the fall than in the spring, as are mothers who send their children off to school in September.)

In Britain: Male suicide rates: 'My father left and took his own life'

13 April 2015 Last updated at 09:38 BST

{snip}

Are you affected by this?

Samaritans provides emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or thoughts of suicide

Its number is 08457 90 90 90

Rethink Mental Illness has more than 200 mental health services and 150 support groups across England.

Its number is 0300 5000 927

List of suicide crisis lines
 

brooklynite

(96,882 posts)
2. Define suicide...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:42 PM
Aug 2021

My FIL ended his life under medical supervision when his health declined to a point that he didn't want to continue living.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
7. That's interesting, but in the context of today's news and the suicide PREVENTION info provided...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:49 PM
Aug 2021

... I think my intent was fairly clear. (Sorry for your loss.)

Runningdawg

(4,588 posts)
4. Yes. Four. Two were fathers who did it in front of their kids. 2 were Vets that couldn't get care.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:46 PM
Aug 2021

I lost count of people I knew who attempted.

 

brewens

(15,359 posts)
6. I talked an ex girlfriend down. She was freaking out about her older boyfriend who was playing her
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:48 PM
Aug 2021

promising marriage. She was going to stab herself right in the belly. I doubt she would have, but who knows, she may have chickened out on that and done something else if no one was around.

haele

(13,370 posts)
8. Both Yes -successful and No -tried but not successful.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:51 PM
Aug 2021

Access to guns seems to have been the major factor in the ones who were successful. Only one of the five successful suicides I knew personally was not with a gun.

On edit - overwhelming despair and depression also figured in 80% of attempts, fatal medical conditions were behind two suicides, and overwhelming pride was behind one.

Haele

Another Jackalope

(112 posts)
9. Well, it's complicated.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:52 PM
Aug 2021

My late partner/soulmate contracted ovarian cancer four years ago. She had always felt that being here was some kind of mistake, and saw this as a free ticket out.

She decided she didn't want to wait for the misery to run its course. She didn't trust the medical profession to perform MAiD (Medical Assistance in Dying - legal in Canada), so she decided to end it herself. She asked me to help, and I said I would. She was my soulmate - anything she wanted I would do my best to provide.

We couldn't find pure helium, so the next best option on the list was carotid compression by ligature.

I sat with her as she tightened the cord around her throat. I told myself not to move.

The next few minutes were the most horrifying of my life.

It didn't work, so when she signaled me, I cut the cord.

The next morning she applied for MAiD, and was approved. Two weeks later I sat with her again as she died peacefully in our living room.

I will never fully recover from the experience, but I still believe to my core that suicide is a human right.

LizBeth

(10,629 posts)
20. never fully recover
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:05 PM
Aug 2021

I wish you could see it in a different life and the gift you gave to a dying person at such a momentous time in their life. And death. And not see it as tragedy or something to recover from.

lagomorph777

(30,613 posts)
24. Yeah, but it really is all of the above.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:11 PM
Aug 2021

I knew somebody who pulled the plug on dialysis - apparently that's common because it's such a miserable life. Is that suicide? Debatable, but certainly understandable.

Sad or tragic? Yes. Did their loved ones understand, and also hate it? Yes, and yes.

Another Jackalope

(112 posts)
28. I view it as both triumph and tragedy
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:20 PM
Aug 2021

Both feelings come in and go out like the tide.
Helping her make the attempt was probably the most selfless thing I will ever do, but it carried an enormous cost.

Danmel

(5,190 posts)
12. Sadly yes
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:55 PM
Aug 2021

A friend's mother. He came home and found her hanging when he was in junior high school. She was a Holocaust survivor. No one talked about PTSD in those days. It was just so awful. He was obviously traumatized. I lost touch with him ages ago. I hope he was able to get help and be ok.

Igel

(35,995 posts)
17. Father.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 03:59 PM
Aug 2021

Planned it. Bought a gun 3 months before, replaced tires and got oil changes in the vehicles the week before, the day before he replaced all the batteries in the house (and used masking tape to let others know when the replacements happened). Mowed the grass, cleaned the pool, ate dinner, did dishes, lay down on the garage floor to pull the trigger when his wife was in the shower. (She had dementia, and had been delusional for 9 months by then).

Jury's out on whether a cousin who ODed did so intentionally a week after his mother died or accidentally because she'd kept him clean for years and he didn't know the potency of whatever he used.

Jury's also out on whether my FIL committed suicide: He was suffering from neuropathy, end-stage-renal failure, and calciphylaxis and was in the hospital. He ripped out his shunt and nearly bled out. Did he intend to rip open a major artery or was he delirious? He never regained conscious, was alive for maybe 3, 4 hours, then died.

A couple of students from my graduating high school class killed themselves, I was told.

bluecollar2

(3,622 posts)
19. At least three which were definite suicides
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:02 PM
Aug 2021

A couple more were suspected but never established.

All co-workers over a 30 year period.

First Speaker

(4,858 posts)
22. Yes. My partner committed suicide ten years ago...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:07 PM
Aug 2021

...I came home and found her hanging in the garage. The only "consolation" is that nothing I ever experience again, including my death, will come close to being that bad. I have also attempted it twice, obviously without success, a fact that I'm still not sure is good or bad.

Takket

(22,425 posts)
25. my spouse has come very close twice to attempting...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:12 PM
Aug 2021

had pills gathered, and a plan.

She had untreated bipolar. Since we've gotten her diagnosed and medicated no further suicidal ideation.

If you ever feel the urge to commit suicide, just know it doesn't have to be that way, and you can be helped. It isn't all just "in your head". There are literal biochemical processes in the body that aren't functioning properly. Psychiatric medicine is still very much an "in development" field, but it can help a great deal.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
31. Yeah you're right. I guess it's nearly impossible to account for every possibility. I'm just...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:28 PM
Aug 2021

... trying to get a "feel" for everyone's experiences and use this post/poll as a way to promote discussion.

DFW

(56,326 posts)
27. I knew five that I recall immediately
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:20 PM
Aug 2021

One was a highly intelligent classmate of my elder daughter. Her dad left soon after she was born (gay, couldn‘t stand pretending any more). Then there was the son of a classmate of my younger daughter. He was Greek, also gay, terrified of revealing it to his orthodox, traditional parents. The other three were thirty-ish men. One a macho type who was having business problems and didn‘t want to admit it. Another was a talented, good-looking German guy married to a super-attractive girlfriend of my wife. We suspect clinical depression, since he had a lot in his life to be thankful for. The last was a bright, but never-got-anywhere guy I knew in Boston in the 1970s. I suspect depression there, too. I think the one common factor was that they were all battling internal demons they either couldn‘t or wouldn‘t share.

hermetic

(8,592 posts)
30. A lovely young woman
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:26 PM
Aug 2021

a week prior to her 21st birthday. Hung herself. The horror of it all and what it did to her family will never leave me.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
32. How does anyone get over it? The guilt and wondering why...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:29 PM
Aug 2021

... and what could have been done to prevent it, what could have been said, why didn't we see the signs, why didn't they talk to me/confide in me... the list goes on.

chowder66

(9,770 posts)
33. 3 friends succeeded. 1 friend did not and had brain damage and paralysis, 2 acquaintances from high
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:29 PM
Aug 2021

school, several friends and family members of friends.

I hate getting that call...Did you hear?

beaglelover

(3,938 posts)
34. Could only choose one option, but
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:32 PM
Aug 2021

in highschool one of my friends successfully committed suicide and one attempted it but did not succeed, thank goodness.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
41. Yeah... there are so many different possibilities and combinations...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:49 PM
Aug 2021

... it would be impossible to find the right mix and create a clickable choice for everything. But... with this poll, it gives a good idea of how common this is, and it's a good way to open the door for discussion.

Freddie

(9,587 posts)
35. My cousin
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:33 PM
Aug 2021

His wife found him. He’d suffered depression for years and when his job was eliminated (tenured professor) as a budget cut, he couldn’t handle it. Brilliant guy.

gypsy11

(341 posts)
37. Five people
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:39 PM
Aug 2021

In my life have committed suicide.

The first person was when I was 11 years old. My neighbor and best friend at the time, her older brother shot himself in the head one morning before school.

My fathers best friend shot himself in the head in his kitchen when I was 13. His wife found him.

My first boyfriend asphyxiated himself intentionally in his car when I was in my late teens.

Another boyfriend did the same thing when I was in my early 20’s.

And finally my cousin intentionally OD’ed when I was in my late 20’s.

gay texan

(2,791 posts)
39. Yes.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:47 PM
Aug 2021

His mom was a narrcacistic whack job that punished him with religion, from when he was one to when he was 26. He was a close friend.

The mom was and still is a fucking piece of shit. She gets to live with the image of him placing a revolver to his temple and pulling the trigger. I hope it haunts her to her dying day.

I dont know what I'd say to her if saw her on the street.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
47. An old classmate of mine put a bullet in his head at the same age...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 05:07 PM
Aug 2021

... this was back in the 70's. I later found out that he was gay. I don't know for sure if that was THE reason he killed himself, but I suspect it was part of the story. Times were different then.

I dont know what I'd say to her if saw her on the street.
Say: "I sure do miss David. Do you?"

gay texan

(2,791 posts)
62. You know I think it was the same thing
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 07:10 PM
Aug 2021

I think he might have been gay. That vile woman used religion as a weapon.

She was the embodiment of pure evil. No life behind her eyes.

ProfessorGAC

(69,459 posts)
43. Yes, Three
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:54 PM
Aug 2021

And one who tried but wasn't successful.
Next door neighbor, guy who lived in the rental house across the street, and our niece.
Guy with whom i played in a band is the tried, but unsuccessful.

Blaukraut

(5,868 posts)
44. My brother-in-law. First attempt was unsuccessful. Second one worked.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 04:56 PM
Aug 2021

He was over our house the weekend of his unsuccessful attempt. Gave his brother (my husband) all the tools he'd ever borrowed and a painting that belonged to my husband but my BIL had it in his closet for years. My husband thought that was weird, but his brother joked about it, saying he was cleaning up.

Same Saturday his wife caught him in the garage, sitting in his running car with the windows open. He made an excuse, saying he forgot the garage door was closed.

The following Tuesday, he went to work early and never came home. His coworkers found him hanging from a wooden beam in his office. He had put his wallet and car keys on his desk. My husband and I had to later pick up his car at his workplace. It was spotless except for a picture of his seven year old daughter on the passenger seat.

He didn't leave a note so we could only speculate as to why he killed himself.

GulfCoast66

(11,949 posts)
45. Two people. One a lady that worked for me.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 05:03 PM
Aug 2021

She lived a pretty rough life filled with abuse. Her 10 year old or so son was shot and killed by a cousin. Accident they said. 3 years later on the anniversary of his death she blew her brains out on his grave.

The other a person I knew who had AIDS from hemophilia medicine. Late 80’s so no treatment and he started having symptoms. Filled his vehicle and covered himself with gasoline at the pump drove into a grove and lit a match. It was awful. He was a good guy.

callous taoboy

(4,670 posts)
46. A high school friend shot himself New Year's Eve 1982-
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 05:06 PM
Aug 2021

The week before, he was playing a weekend game of football with some friend at the Jr. High field. He got tackled and lay there, not moving. When his friends gathered around he sprang up and said he was going to die a virgin. He was always one to say outrageous things so nobody thought anything of it. His older brother committed suicide a few years later.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
49. I've heard (but don't know if it's true) that suicide can be...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 05:09 PM
Aug 2021

... "genetic" (perhaps environmental) within families, or down through generations of the same family.

BannonsLiver

(17,662 posts)
50. Yes, a lifelong friend who was part of my HS friend circle jumped off a 20 story building several
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 05:14 PM
Aug 2021

Years ago. It took me a while to process the public and horrifying nature he chose, let alone the death itself. And 11 months later a friend in the same circle completed his downward slide and died of an accidental or intentional drug overdose. We’ll never know for sure.

Meowmee

(5,185 posts)
52. One friend attempted it
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 05:16 PM
Aug 2021

I am not sure if it was a serious attempt though since she took a small amount if a drug that it is impossible to achieve it with. The brother of another friend went missing while on a navy ship, he left his shoes behind, no note, and he had pretty severe mental health issues and was very unhappy having to serve in armed forces, it was deemed a suicide. I always wondered why he could not be exempt.

MustLoveBeagles

(12,376 posts)
53. An aquaintance I knew in highschool
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 05:25 PM
Aug 2021

Killed himself with his father's gun 31 years ago. My husband made a failed (thank goodness) attempt 28 years ago with an overdose of prescription pain meds. This was a year before we met.

Response to NurseJackie (Original post)

Brother Mythos

(1,442 posts)
55. Unfortunately, I've know several people who have committed suicide. One of them ...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 05:37 PM
Aug 2021

was unsuccessful on at least one attempt, but succeeded at a later date. I don't honestly know if any of those suicides could have been prevented, as I know for a fact that two of those people had plenty of friends and family who cared about them.

 

marie999

(3,334 posts)
56. Yes, years ago, my boss. Yes me, I attempted suicide.
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 06:11 PM
Aug 2021

Don't ask me why because I don't have any memory of it. I know I was talking to my family on 12/26/2014 and the next thing I knew it was 12/31/2014 and I was in the hospital. A psychologist was in the room with me and even though he saw me every day I did not remember him. I have not had any mental healthcare problems since.

mcar

(43,366 posts)
57. I know of but not personally
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 06:14 PM
Aug 2021

I also have a family member who suffers from depression and has talked suicide but hasn't attempted.

Buckeye_Democrat

(15,022 posts)
58. A teenage next-door neighbor boy tried suicide...
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 06:15 PM
Aug 2021

... by overdosing pills, but he was unsuccessful. He was one year younger than me.

He father was WEIRD. Years later, when I saw the movie "American Beauty", the character of Colonel Fitts strongly reminded me of my teen neighbor's father (who coincidentally had also been a military officer). I was a regular friend of the neighbor boy when we were younger, but his father's very controlling and untrusting behavior made me avoid that whole family by the time I was a teenager.

My mother saw an ambulance appear in their driveway on the night he attempted suicide, so she called their house the next day. The boy's mother didn't reveal what really happened, but she obviously acted nervous and suspicious about the ambulance before politely ending the conversation with my mother.

About a week later, she called my mother and told her about the suicide attempt.

A few weeks after I was told, I spoke to the neighbor boy across the property-dividing fence while we were both outside. He mentioned the suicide attempt to me (which I obviously already knew about) and stated that his father was the problem. Yet he had then decided to hold onto life and just get the hell out of that house as soon as possible. He later found a job and moved out of that house before he was even 18 years old.

onethatcares

(16,544 posts)
60. my nephew
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 06:20 PM
Aug 2021

at 26 years of age. Leaving behind two children and a wife..

I think of him alot and wish I could have had just one more day with him.

Marthe48

(18,718 posts)
61. I knew one suicide
Mon Aug 2, 2021, 06:27 PM
Aug 2021

I know several families who have lost loved ones to suicide. I didn't know the people who died, knew their famiy members.

bif

(23,795 posts)
65. Way too many. My mother, my brother, an uncle...
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 04:34 PM
Aug 2021

My boyhood friend. A good friend's son. One of my best friend's brother. Very sad.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
66. I'm so sorry.
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 04:44 PM
Aug 2021

I've been reading that it can "run in families" as well as within social or professional circles. It's sad and interesting to see that some US states have a higher suicide rate than others.

Sympthsical

(9,987 posts)
68. Five people close to me
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 05:18 PM
Aug 2021

Three cousins I grew up with who were all around my age at the time. This was in my early twenties. Two of those were after incredibly bad break ups, one of those with issues of drug addiction. The third was straight-up drug addiction.

Two others were gay friends grappling with depression. One late twenties, one mid-thirties. They both came from very conservative families, where relations were tumultuous at best. The one in his 30s was genuinely baffling. He had gotten married and by all account was happy. Less than a year into the marriage, boom. His husband still doesn't understand to this day. He thought they were very happy. But, LGBT people can carry deep wounds well into adulthood, even though everything seems outwardly fine. It's not unusual.

I'm actually working on a master's in psychology at the moment. My current five year plan is to transition into being a therapist. These deaths have had profound influence in shaping my personality. I grappled with clinical depression myself in the past (all better now), and it feels like I've been quietly moving in this direction all my life.

I'm already most of my friends' unofficial therapist, so I figured might as well make money at it.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
69. That's horrible. I'm so sorry.
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 05:43 PM
Aug 2021

Something like that has devastating and long-lasting effects on families and loved ones who are left behind.

Sympthsical

(9,987 posts)
74. It completely destroyed that family
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 06:07 PM
Aug 2021

Two of the cousins were step brothers. After the second suicide, the parents basically dissolved into drug addiction, alcoholism, and mutual violent domestic abuse. A lot of us tried to intervene at first, but they were both completely psychologically broken at that point. It got to the point where cops were at the house regularly.

Long story short, the husband shot his wife in the back of the head one day and hid her body in the recycling bin in the garage for a week. Then he told her family that she was vacationing in Vegas. Our best guess was that he was blitzed out of his mind.

But yeah, he's gone for life now.

One of the siblings (there were four) lost his brother to suicide, then his mother to murder, then his father dropped dead of a heart attack like three months later. Basically, his whole family. He found Jesus hard core in the few years since. He's really nice though. We speak every few months. Incredibly nice guy. Awful family history.

MissB

(16,024 posts)
71. My nephew
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 05:56 PM
Aug 2021

He had two kids and a newborn/wife in the hospital after giving birth.

He had a rough and unpredictable childhood. (He was actually my step sibling’s son but I’d known him since birth).

I think I’ve been fairly lucky, knocking on wood, to have so few suicides in my immediate sphere.

jmowreader

(51,322 posts)
73. Yes, and you're going to be amazed
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 06:06 PM
Aug 2021

He was my niece's husband. He was also the State of Idaho's regional suicide prevention expert. I did their wedding a few years back, and...oh man, it went from "can you design a menu for us?" to "can you design a menu, lay out the invitations on your computer, prepare food for 250 people, help construct the decorations, do makeup on seven adult women and one teenager twice (once a week before the wedding, and again the day of), go shopping with us six times, take your mother who hates everything to buy an outfit, alter two bridesmaids gowns, and keep your sister from killing your mother for trying to ruin the wedding?" I mean, I don't necessarily mind but damn, if I would have known this more than three days from the wedding I would have taken a week off work. (Strangely enough, she DIDN'T ask me to help with the funeral, probably because the church she held it in sold her an all-inclusive package.)

We're finding out more and more about why he did it from searching his phone, but when he decided to do it, first he wrote a LOT of suicide notes - six that we know of - left all the passwords to his computer on his desk so his employees could carry out their work, made sure his insurance, retirement etc. would transfer to my niece...then bought a $1000 handgun, a half-gallon of tequila and an eighth of the strongest weed you can get from the Spokane cannabis stores, then went out in the woods, put a warning on his window as to what people would find if they went beyond that point, drank quite a bit of the tequila and smoked most of the pot, then put a round through his head.

By the way, does anyone know how to get clotted blood out of the charging port on an iPhone?

Nonhlanhla

(2,074 posts)
76. My brother's wife
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 06:27 PM
Aug 2021

My brother’s first wife was successful on her second try. She came from an abusive family and had severe depression.

Some others too: the spouse of a colleague, a friend of my parents, a childhood friend (the last one because he was terminally ill). Always a tragedy.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
77. A terminally ill friend/acquaintance chose to put a bullet in his head... very sad.
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 06:38 PM
Aug 2021

After the dust had settled, I later found out that he had killed himself in a single-stall public toilet at the local hospital. (Apparently he didn't want to leave a mess at home for loved ones to deal with.) And he had also pinned a note to his jacket with "DNR" instructions and the reason/s why.

Honestly, I can sympathize with his reasons why... and I can't say that death is something I wouldn't also choose in the same situation. But, it's hard for me to imagine doing something so violent. Maybe it's a gender-thing but if I were in his situation, I'd choose pills or carbon-monoxide.

Nonhlanhla

(2,074 posts)
78. It's not always a gender thing
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 06:47 PM
Aug 2021

My sister in law shot herself in the head. Her first, unsuccessful, attempt was sleeping pills.she was hospitalized after that and got therapy but some months later shot herself.

dsc

(52,556 posts)
79. A college roommate of mine killed himself shortly before our 20th reunion
Tue Aug 3, 2021, 06:55 PM
Aug 2021

while I wasn't in constant touch with him I did keep in touch some over the years. He is one of the first people I came out to. I also very nearly killed myself while in college. I wound up not trying but I came quite close.

niyad

(119,182 posts)
80. I personally knew three who were successful, and knew the parents of two teenagers
Wed Aug 4, 2021, 12:19 AM
Aug 2021

who were successful (I did not know the teenagers, only the two sets of parents). And .I managed to talk one person out of trying.

frogmarch

(12,217 posts)
84. A college-age sister of
Wed Aug 4, 2021, 12:49 AM
Aug 2021

one of my daughters-in-law fell in with a tribe of Evangelicals when she moved to Denver from her small town in So. Dak. She was a lesbian but she was told, and came to believe, that she was doomed to hell if she didn't turn straight, so she started dating men. On the eve of her wedding, she shot herself in the head. Her adolescent brother had been very close to her, and missed her terribly. Months later, he got a gun from a neighbor's pickup truck and ended his life too.

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