There is a God.

[DURHAM D]

Link to tweet

Link to tweet

/photo/1

[Hoyt]

1. The crosses will be hard to light at dark, and they've put away the confederate flags.

[Javaman]

2. And right under umbrellas? Lol nt

[canetoad]

3. Just about every prohibited item

Was taken to the Capitol insurrection.

[JHB]

61. And if those few exceptions had been actively prohibited, they would have brought them...

Thus the absence of 1/6 toasters.

[ALBliberal]

67. Witty

[Archae]

4. Toasters are banned, but not guns?

Oops, just noticed, "Weapons" are on the forbidden list.

But still, toasters?

[spooky3]

35. I wonder what "structures" are? The late night comedians should have a

good time with this list.

[JHB]

62. Tents, and anything else that might qualify as similar

I mean, why would anyone need to bring a waterproof shelter to a Trump rally in a cow field with a storm coming in?

[subterranean]

60. They'll pry my toaster from my cold, dead hands!

[JHB]

63. If it's doing its job, your hands won't be cold.

[Beachnutt]

5. Perfect place to contract covid under that

brown tarp, idiots

[dweller]

6. Toasters ?

Doesn’t want the reminder he’s toast ?



✌🏻

[Mr.Bill]

14. Yes!

I think that's it!

[spanone]

16. I won't attend any rally without my Toaster. My freedumb is being infringed!!!!!

[spooky3]

29. Is it a battery powered toaster? I've never seen one!

I don't think they'd have too many electrical outlets at the rally.

[spanone]

30. That's another infringement on my freedumb, no outlets..trying to silence my toaster

you can't out absurd their absurdity

[spooky3]

34. LOLLLLLL!!!! nt

[OAITW r.2.0]

46. Don't laugh.....household tools - drills saws, leaf-blowers, weedwackers, and chainsaws are all

being packaged with Lion interchangeable batteries. How soon before the kitchen mixers, toasters, microwaves, and processors get them same makeover?

[niyad]

55. Solar powered. . .ooops

[Rebl2]

22. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[dweller]

28. Food is not banned ... yet

So infiltrate the rally with a bread bag of burnt toast …
and when TFG appears, fling slices like frisbees at him …

Can you imagine his response to burnt toast landing around him ?

😂

✌🏻

[yonder]

53. ala Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Who plays Frankenfurter?

[BunnyMcGee]

72. TFG plays Frankenfurter

[JHB]

65. Which would get better distance: burnt toast frisbees or paper towel rolls?

[Grokenstein]

74. Probably same as his reaction to eagles and loud noises

Two days later, once they coax him back out of his Mar-a-Lago bunker, he'll call himself the bravest president to ever win a noble prize (sic) for single-handedly beating up a school shooter and capturing Osama bin Laden.

[Beachnutt]

7. Ok God we could use the softball sized hail

as soon as orange man walks out

[Treefrog]

8. She seems a bit perturbed about the CNN "homecoming" concert too.

[unc70]

9. Banned items: Toasters?!

Can't imagine why toasters are specifically prohibited.

[JHB]

68. I think toasters are just an innocuous example for banned appliances

I think the ban is just because most appliances will have metal parts and they don't want to deal with anything that won't pass through the metal scanner.

Although I'm fine with laughing my ass off for that long list of prohibited items for a rally in a cow pasture.

[33taw]

10. But their freedoms?

[rurallib]

11. Can Gawd hurl a lightening bolt with precision accuracy?

I've heard people say he could, but I'd like proof.

[dbonds]

56. Covid is raging in Cullman.

I live in Cullman. Mayor declared a covid emergency yesterday. Last week we had a huge 3 day Rock the South music event. This will not end well. I'm laying low.

[lastlib]

75. He tossed one at me pretty close........

IDK if He was intending to hit me, or just wanted to scare me sh*tless (which He did!) and knock the jeezus into me (which He didn't)........

[betsuni]

12. Shouldn't they prohibit soup? I thought soup was dangerous.

[Sneederbunk]

13. My toaster and I are one.

[spanone]

15. Never seen such an extensive list. Guess when you're dealing with morons.....

[Hugh_Lebowski]

17. No E-cigs/vaping allowed but nothing about cigars/cigarettes/actual smoking?

Interesting.

[Haggard Celine]

32. I thought that was interesting, too.

I have heard of some of them exploding in people's faces, so that makes me wonder what else they can be used for. There must be some reason they're considered too dangerous to allow in.

[Beachnutt]

18. Look at the weather radar, at 9 p.m.

thunderstorms hit

[Rebl2]

19. Toaster?

Suppose it could be thrown? That would kinda hurt I guess

[FakeNoose]

20. They should be glad they aren't in New York and New England

Normally I wouldn't say that because NY and NE are awesome. But it's being assaulted by Hurricane Henri tonight and tomorrow. So ChumpHumpers in Alabama can stand a little bit of rain, I imagine.

Looks like Chump won't get wet. He's got that nice tent for himself, and nobody else is allowed anything like that. Sound familiar? Wise up people, your Supreme Orange Overlord doesn't give a shit about any of you.

Just how stupid are you ... really? We're about to find out.

[Treefrog]

23. Yep. CNN's vaunted concert has been rained out.

Cooper desperately trying to save it by talking with Barry Manilow.

[Maru Kitteh]

26. I kind of enjoyed Barry singing "I made it through the rain" over the phone

that was pretty funny.

And Jesus. I can't get over how good he sounds and energetic for freakin' 78. I hope I'm that lucky.

[gratuitous]

21. The crowd should huddle close together

Real close together.

[Maru Kitteh]

24. Balls.

I'm just going to leave that one here for right now.

[Grins]

25. No toasters?????

What the…?

Why do they (still) hate America?

[a kennedy]

27. and what the hell is Dick, "Missing teeth", Morris doing there?? 😂 🤣 😂

All I’m looking at is his teeth missing…….

[Lady Freedom Returns]

31. Surprised that masks aren't on that list.

😷🤟

[33taw]

36. I am guessing they weren't worried about anyone donning a mask.

[kimbutgar]

33. I notice guns are not on that list!

[DFW]

38. That is because.............

To Republicans, guns are not weapons, but rather are considered "detachable body limbs."

[spooky3]

40. "Weapons" are, though. What strikes me about this list, though, is

that the organizers are very afraid of what people who support Trump would do with anything that could conceivably be used to injure someone. Says a lot about those folks.

I've attended lots of events (such as tennis matches) where stuff is restricted but I don't recall seeing such a long and strange list.

[kairos12]

37. Put a fence around that group and just call it a COVID Hazmat Zone.

[BumRushDaShow]

48. or a

FEMA camp!

[kairos12]

49. Even better. Show them continual Borat Films as re-education.

[BumRushDaShow]

50. ...

[orleans]

39. cigarettes good. e-cigs and vapes bad. ??? nt

[Johnny2X2X]

41. Aerosols! Mosquito repellent

Alabama in August in the middle of a cow pasture. They’re going to get eaten alive.

[niyad]

58. Ah, now that made me smile.

[Rhiannon12866]

42. Well, we know that TFG can't deal with umbrellas! So nobody gets one...

Link to tweet

[SheltieLover]

43. What? No "worshers" or toasters?

🤔

[gordianot]

44. They forgot to ban a conscience or moral integrity.

That may be too obvious you should expect such things to be lacking.

[GoCubsGo]

45. If there really was a God, he/she would have

struck that orange shitstain down with lightning years ago.

I wonder how many of those fools are going to be on ventilators a month from now.

[dianaredwing]

51. Not as many as need to be

if the current trend continues. Won't be enough ventilators south of the Mason/Dixon for all those chumps.

[OAITW r.2.0]

47. So I guess vacuum cleaners would be OK to bring?

Probably will need to bring 30 or 40 50'ft extension cords, though.

[dianaredwing]

52. Those extension cords could come in handy

if anyone can find a hangin' tree.

[pazzyanne]

54. Talk about "cancel culture". nt

[dbonds]

57. This is on a cullman facebook post

It is from my nephew.

As a libertarian, allow me to extend an olive branch to my republican friends. Tonight, our city will welcome President Trump to our beloved small town. We will make national news, either good or bad. Just remember yall... teeth and bras... TEETH AND BRA'S. Already seen one ole girl in a bikini top that I'm assured will be a headline at some point. Keep it classy, Cullman.

[ALBliberal]

71. Damn funny!!!

[East-A-Squared]

59. Doesn't Covid 19 spread easily in wet weather? Especially if the people are close together?

[Crunchy Frog]

64. For freedumb lovers they sure tolerate a lot of restrictions.

[SunSeeker]

66. Well, that was worth the NYC Concert getting rained out I guess.

Always gotta look at the bright side.

[luckone]

69. Nope they'll have to pry that toaster

from mah cold dead hands Even tfg can’t come between me and my toaster
I’m always carrying it close and it goes with me anywhere I roll

[keithbvadu2]

70. Denial of Second Amendment rights and the RW sheeple go right along with it.

Denial of Second Amendment rights and the RW sheeple go right along with it.

[Moebym]

73. Every single item on that list except explosives

Is far less dangerous than guns.

But they weren't specifically mentioned because...Trump supporters.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

76. Their spirits won't be dampened considering they have none.....

and their brains are already totally washed.


KY...........

[doughb]

77. "Prohibited Items"?!

BuT wHaT aBoUt OuR fReEdUmS??!1?