"You DO know that is where we keep the knives (and sharpeners), yes???? That was

[niyad]

my first Reaction to that idiot preacher's poster, "Women belong in the ktchen". Really, you woman-hating, gestational slavers just might want to rethink that bit of misogyny. After all, not only do we have knives, but also cast iron skillets, marble or solid maple rolling pins, hot oil, and many other potentially lethal objects.

So, do you REALLLLLLY want us in the kitchen?????
(Please make sure that you life insurance, with its double indemnity clause, is fully paid up, because it WILL look like an accident.)

[nebby70]

1. ...as a long time mystery reader ...

... I'd also like to remind them, they may wanna re-think eating anything made in the kitchen where a woman has been condemned...

... my hubby once commented that considering how many cozy murders I've read, I must know 50 ways to leave him.....
(yep, I'm humming the tune right now)

[niyad]

2. you nearly owed me a keyboard. My response to some who really annoy me is, "You

might want to rethink pissing off someone who reads murder mysteries for a hobby." Epecially the gardening and kitchen cozies.

And now both the S and G, and the Parody Project versions are running in my head.

[GoneOffShore]

19. You'll like this joke:

'Where's your husband?'

'Oh, he's in the garden.'

'I don't see him.'

'You'll need a shovel.'

[niyad]

24. I nearly spit out my coffee!

[littlemissmartypants]

4. Hahaha!!! GMTA!

[littlemissmartypants]

3. I'm not condoning violence but I will say something on the subject.....

Poison. Also found in the kitchen.

[niyad]

5. There is that. Food allergies can be fun, too.

[littlemissmartypants]

6. ...

[niyad]

9. I once knew someone with a severe iodine allergy. A little salt, some shimp. . .

[littlemissmartypants]

15. Interesting. Hummmmm.

[niyad]

16. In one episode of "The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd", her significant other died

from accidentally eating something with shrimp in it.

[littlemissmartypants]

7. And the right mushrooms can silence a nagging husband, lickety split.

[niyad]

8. Very true. So hard to tell the amanitas from the others. Oooops.

[littlemissmartypants]

11. Hahaha.

Did you know that apple seeds contain cyanide?

[niyad]

14. So handy.

[TreasonousBastard]

20. "Mrs. Smith, how did your first husband die"

"Poison mushrooms. It was an accident. "

"And your second husband? "

"He also ate poison mushrooms by mistake. "

"And your third? "

"Gunshot in the heart."

"How did that happen?"

"He wouldn't eat tbe mushrooms."

[niyad]

25. An oldie but a goodie.

[TreasonousBastard]

10. I have always admired the old trick of clubbing someone to death with a frozen...

leg of lamb.

And serving the murder weapon to relatives. Maybe even the police.

[littlemissmartypants]

12. A person can learn invaluable information

Watching crime TV.

[niyad]

13. And there was one of my favourite scenes in "Fried Green Tomatoes".

[captain queeg]

17. Mrs Plum in the kitchen with a rolling pin

[niyad]

30. Exactky.

[littlemissmartypants]

18. Maybe we should have a 'Women Fight Back' group. . .

I would enjoy reading stories about how females triumph over the evil patriarchy. I wonder if anyone has already started one. A clearinghouse of falls from grace and the ultimate humiliation that comes with being a misogynistic jerk who's had his ass handed to him might be a very empowering thing to have. At the very least, entertaining.

[niyad]

26. Oh, I love your Idea. You should start one. It would be helpful, and

entertaining,

[KY_EnviroGuy]

21. Cast iron skillets are popular in the South.

The gals down here don't suffer any male fools........

We hear that up North, some ladies use the Bobbit Method.......


KY.............

[niyad]

27. I do prefer the skillet to the Bobbitt. Far less messy.

[wnylib]

22. This reminds me of an anthropology

professor who told our class that women in our society who complain about inequality should consider conditions in the culture that we were studying at the time. He said that conditions were so bad for women that the women began murdering their female infants in order to spare them a life of misery.

I blurted out "Sounds like they killed the wrong people."

[niyad]

29. Excellent! I get so damned sick of hearing how women in this country should not

complain, because women in other countries have it worse. I have even seen that bs here on DU. Women in many other countries have it better. Health care, wages, paid family leave, political representation, corporate representation, infant and maternal outcomes, etc.

[Maeve]

23. Frying pans...who knew, right?

Insert Rapunzel from Tangled meme here

[niyad]

28. I remember an older friend telling me, when I was a teen, that in some European

cultures, cast iron skillets were given as wedding presents. It was well understood why. Same with the 36 in maple rolling pin. I loved that thing.