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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsGabby Petito: The original police interview, Cops failed her. Laundrie hit & slapped her.
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So, it turns out that the 911 caller who reported the 8/12 incident between Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie reported seeing him slapping and hitting her. This is the info that the police had going into the situation. They failed her. https://t.co/tOLiZDZpCA pic.twitter.com/Mdy7vOigCy
jen psaki's head tilt before the kill
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You can't train away misogyny. People have to want to be better than this. Cops treat DV this way primarily because of misogyny.
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The original police interview of Gabby Petito & Brian Laundrie shows what it looks like when cops have NOT had adequate DV training. Blaming her mental health, ignoring reports of his emotional abuse/threats, putting HIM in safe hotel while sending her to spend night in a VAN?
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When I saw that clip I immediately thought he was abusive and had convinced her she was the problem. In the last 5 years, out of necessity, I researched narcissism. We need to educate young girls/women how to spot the red flags.
*******
News didn't even seek nor report the actual dispatch call nor pd report, in their rush to profit from the sensational headlines.
Anyone surprised why we never hear about the crimes of the disappeared?
It's the gdamned NEWS & their writing & sanitizing the story for views & their advertisers.
The News failed Gabby Petito, as well as all the others who have been victims of domestic violence, in the name of whitewashing their own issue of mysogyny.
This pisses me off even more today, than yesterday.
Jirel
(2,018 posts)When cops don't intervene in abuse, they might as well be the killers themselves.
Budi
(15,325 posts)...separated in a safe place. Rather than where she ended up. Dead, on a dismal cold mountainside in Wyoming USA, a thousand miles from home.
malaise
(268,980 posts)I did wonder why she was blaming herself in that interview.
Bet his parents knew as well.
Budi
(15,325 posts)This makes me sick.
malaise
(268,980 posts)It was her vehicle.
Even at 22 no guy was bullying me and beating me period, let alone when I owned the transport.
Budi
(15,325 posts)It WAS HER VAN!
He killed her & drove it home to FL.
malaise
(268,980 posts)Guess he thought he could continue using her van after he killed her - he was brazen enough to kill her and drive it back to Florida
Response to malaise (Reply #13)
Chin music This message was self-deleted by its author.
malaise
(268,980 posts)Fucker was such a failure that he didn't even have his own place or car.
Ah well he had all those likes on Social Media.
Hope he enjoyed the cross country tour - either he's dead or prison awaits.
Response to malaise (Reply #27)
Chin music This message was self-deleted by its author.
malaise
(268,980 posts)for all we know my friend
LisaL
(44,973 posts)He was put up in a hotel and she was left with the van. So at least in theory she could have taken off in her van.
Problem is, many abused persons don't leave, no matter what.
Response to LisaL (Reply #30)
Chin music This message was self-deleted by its author.
LisaL
(44,973 posts)So the two of them obviously got back together after the fight.
Response to LisaL (Reply #38)
Chin music This message was self-deleted by its author.
Response to Budi (Reply #5)
malaise This message was self-deleted by its author.
The cops are on the guy's side. And I am sure some of them do as you suggest.
She may have been blaming herself for a number of reasons but perhaps it had to do with the cop's attitude. Never know. I think the cops should be investigated by outside of WY entities. This whole region is connected in one way or another.
Budi
(15,325 posts)And they're very good at it, because they never own fault of their own.
Maru Kitteh
(28,340 posts)LE tend to know each other pretty well.
wnylib
(21,447 posts)woman to blame herself for many possible reasons. She might fear retaliation if she tells the truth. She might be conditioned by upbringing to believe that a good relationship is a woman's responsibility. So if he gets angry enough to hit her, she thinks that she did something wrong to upset him. If she has become emotionally or financially dependent on him as a result of intimidation through abuse, she will act like a person experiencing Stockholm Syndrome and try to protect him.
Abuse can really mess up your mind in the hands of a skilled narcisist.
(Been there, many years ago, and God help the guy who ever tries it on me again.)
Bangs head
wnylib
(21,447 posts)LittleGirl
(8,287 posts)Maru Kitteh
(28,340 posts)Peace, health, dietary habits, conflict resolution, successful holidays and indeed all matters of perfection are the responsibility of women. Just watch the commercials.
If you're really in a bind, you may have to depend on a small girl to fix everything for the male, help them be a better person and solve their problems.
Response to Budi (Original post)
malaise This message was self-deleted by its author.
mopinko
(70,099 posts)abusers know this. so they provoke their victims into fighting back, and they send them to jail.
yup, that's how it actually works. not just to the station, either. cook county jail.
My dad's and my brother's MO was to claim the female in the altercation is crazy and needs to go to mental health facility. And that's often what happened and that stayed on their records when applying for jobs or apartments, it was evil and sick.
mopinko
(70,099 posts)i had a neuropsyche exam just a few years ago, and the quality of the psyche half was appalling. 50 questions, just yes/no. biased af. no interview. at.all. violation of apa guidelines. and yet...
modern psychiatry is about as useful as phrenology if you are female in america.
2naSalit
(86,586 posts)Had a few bogus psych evals and I'm glad they didn't put me in some facility.
obamanut2012
(26,071 posts)GLEEFULLY.
Folks on here said it, too, doubling down on bUt sHeS tHe aBuSeR!?!
Budi
(15,325 posts)I hope the Chickenshit Coward is found
Deuxcents
(16,199 posts)I wonder what they think about what has happened to her..if they even think about it. The boyfriend claimed she was manic and goes off every so often. Hmmm..wonder why.i wish she had left him a long time ago. She was even financing this trip..her van, her tic tick revenues. Whatever happens to him, I dont care. Maybe hell meet up with an alligator and put this all to rest.
Budi
(15,325 posts)Best outcome I can think of.
I don't want to hear "his side". Followed by a Go Fund Me & 'Justice for Brian Laundrie' advocacy group.
Karma13612
(4,552 posts)Why did the report have to make her look bad first.
Unless you hear about this new revelation, you will continue to think that!
Thanks for sharing this. Puts stuff in a whole new light. And now we will hear all the denial and crap from the BF and his family.
Well, IF they can ever FIND the BF.
Zeitghost
(3,858 posts)This was an earlier incident that happened prior to the one with the bodycam footage.
cate94
(2,810 posts)By saying there was no mention of assault, and also bolstering the attacker and penalizing the victim, t hey should be fired.
This is some twisted shit.
wnylib
(21,447 posts)That's how DV used to be handled decades ago.
I survived a very abusive relationship. The cops were not involved in every incident, but when they were, they were very professional, even back in the early 1970s. They tried to get me to tell the truth of what had happened, but I was too terrified to do it. They told me point blank that they knew that I was lying out of fear. But the laws at that time would give me only limited protection after reporting him. I knew that he would retaliate.
The cops were patient and understanding. (Both male.) They said that they understood my concern but told me bluntly that it would get worse until he killed me. They advised me to work on an escape plan and enlist friends or relatives. They gave me their cards to call when I was ready.
I took their advice and eventually got a friend to help. The threats and violence escalated after I moved in with the friend (a female coworker with a big, protective German Shepherd).
The frank discussion and advice from those cops probably saved my life.
cate94
(2,810 posts)Archaic is a better word. Im glad you got good advice and help from a friend.
wnylib
(21,447 posts)and sympathetic because she had divorced a controlling, emotionally abusive man.
After my post, I watched the police video of when they stopped the van. The cops started out handling it ok, but, since Laundrie had scratch marks on him, they concluded that he was the victim, not her. They charged her with DV.
After seeing the video, I have my own suspicions about the relationship dynamics between Petito and Laundrie. I think that he is a psychologically manipulative narcissist, skilled at gaslighting. Petito was young and trusting, not aware of what she was dealing with. The interactions between each of them and the cops were unnatural.
Petito was very emotionally stressed and crying. Laundrie gaslighted both her and the cops. He denied that there was any problem between him and Petito. He was unnaturally calm and smooth the entire time. In separate interviews, she said they had been arguing all day and that she was stressed out from it. He said it was a "beautiful day" and things were going well until she got "upset." He never clarified what she was upset about, just that he tried to put distance between them by getting in the van and telling her to take a walk to cool off.
The cops then filled in the image that Laundrie was .creating for them, that he did the "right" thing and she was just an over emotional, hysterical type. But the van and phone were hers. They were thousands of miles from home. He had the keys (and the phone, I think). So of course she got upset when he was going to take off somewhere. She forced her way into the van to avoid being stranded, IMO. He made it look like she was just a "crazy lady," upset for no reason. That is a classic gaslighting maneuver of narcissists.
His behavior had Petito doubting herself. He presents himself as calm and rational to her, but does unreasonable things. She can't reconcile the image with the behavior and questions him. He gets super calm, creating the impression even in her own mind that she is overreacting. She ends up apologizing for her normal reaction to his controlling "reasonableness."
Even a calm, reasonable guy would feel and at least verbally express some frustration about trying to cope with an "over emotional" girlfriend. His calm is the scripted behavior of a self-serving narcissist.
IMO, the cops' mistake was in accepting Laundrie's story of him trying to get away from an emotional woman. They failed to see that it was normal for her to get upset over him taking off in HER van with HER phone thousands of miles from home after an argument. They wrote her off and considered him a heroic saint.
Sympthsical
(9,073 posts)There are often cases in the media where a 911 dispatcher doesn't pass along pertinent information to the responding officers, so they go in not having all of the information necessary.
The most infamous example I can think of is the Tamir Rice killing. The 911 call included saying the person was probably a juvenile and the gun was probably fake. That was not told to the officers, and we saw how that went.
LittleGirl
(8,287 posts)Dont ignore the blatant victim blaming here. Thanks
this guy anyway.
If the skeeters or the gators don't get him. there's always dysentery, snakes and the obligatory "deliverance" types to help level the playing field.
Go Gators!
wnylib
(21,447 posts)his family is lying about that to protect him.
His picture should be plastered everywhere in the country so there is no safe place for him to hide, unless he leaves the country, if he hasn't already. Give the photos to airlines and Interpol, too.
Pachamama
(16,887 posts)Response to TallMike (Reply #28)
Chin music This message was self-deleted by its author.
Karma13612
(4,552 posts)Whole bodycam footage of the traffic stop. It is 1 hr 17 min long. But very revealing on many levels.
[link:https://www.fox13news.com/news/911-call-released-in-gabby-petito-brian-laundrie-incident-in-utah-the-gentleman-was-slapping-the-girl?taid=6148d45ae56df4000174df5d&utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_medium=trueanthem&utm_source=twitter|]
This was after the report of DV. She talks to her parents while in the squad car. I would like to know what she told her parents about the details of the DV. She never tells the cops that Brian slapped her and hit her.
I wonder if she told her parents. And told them that she was being held for DV.
Something is not right in this picture.
Treefrog
(4,170 posts)The cops in FL dropped the ball.
Karma13612
(4,552 posts)Were acting like best buds with Bri Bri. Because one of them had a wife suffering from anxiety, they completely dismissed Gabbys demeaner as just anxiety. Forgetting that she could be in distress.
They got the 911 dispatch call information completely backwards. In fact, Brian was witnessed hitting and slapping Gabby.
My gawd, what a mistake to make. The cop with the beard was way overbearing towards Gabby. Never giving her emotional space to explain what happened or to relate any fears. She was as afraid of the cop as she was of Brian. Frightened about being arrested for assault!!
I cant imagine the fear and shame she was facing.
And now shes dead and hes on the lamb.
2naSalit
(86,586 posts)It's Wyoming, women aren't thought of as much beyond livestock in most parts, and I don't expect Florida to be any better about it.
honest.abe
(8,678 posts)Clearly this girl was being abused and controlled by her fiancé.
senseandsensibility
(17,026 posts)I see more after that terrible original story of her being the "aggressor." This needs to be explored much, much further.
Tribetime
(4,694 posts)They let them both go. Tough call for police.
boston bean
(36,221 posts)boston bean
(36,221 posts)wnylib
(21,447 posts)have helped. They would have learned to assess body language, apologies, and other behaviors that occur in DV situations. That might have raised some suspicions, but since they had limited information, they couldn't know for sure what had happened.
That's when it's good to have a DV trained female cop to call on, to talk separately and privately with Gabby, maybe ask if there were any marks she might have had on her that were not visible. She or another cop could have asked directly if physical fights occurred before and offered Gabby a place to go if necessary.
The marks on her fiance might have come from defensive actions by Gabby, to get free, for example, if she was being forcibly held and restrained. The location of the marks on him might have indicated where they stood in relation to each other when she scratched and bit him.
In the end, though, the cops were limited in what they could do without enough information and probably could not have done anything to prevent her death. Hard to know without having all the details of the cop encounter.
Tribetime
(4,694 posts)I don't blame them
wnylib
(21,447 posts)bullwinkle428
(20,629 posts)boston bean
(36,221 posts)To what I am asking you. And I want you to think about your answer really hard before you answer, dont blurt out an answer. Did you mean to hurt him.
Right then and there I knew they were assholes.
She took all the blame just like her abuser would demand of her.
I am so pissed about this.