Oh my fucking God, get the fucking vaccine already, you fucking fucks!

[ShazzieB]

This piece probably won't convince any antivaxxers to get vaccinated, but I found it to be hilarious as well incredibly cathartic to read. I hope you do, too.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, GET THE FUCKING VACCINE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING FUCKS
by WENDY MOLYNEUX

Hi, if you are reading this essay then congratulations, you are still alive. And if you are alive, then you have either gotten the COVID-19 vaccine, or you still have the opportunity to get the vaccine against COVID-19. And holy fuck, if you aren’t fucking vaccinated against COVID-19, then you need to get fucking vaccinated right now. I mean, what the fuck? Fuck you. Get vaccinated. Fuck.

The fucking vaccine will not make you magnetic. Are you fucking kidding me? It just fucking won’t. That’s not even a fucking thing, and that lady who tried to pretend the vaccine made her fucking magnetic looked like a real fucking fuckwad and a fucking idiot, so get fucking vaccinated. Jesus. Fuck.

The vaccine also doesn’t have a fucking 5G chip in it. What the fuck do you think a fucking 5G chip is, fucknuts? You think it’s like some invisible nanotechnology they can suspend in a liquid and then just put in your fucking blood and then it what, exactly? Fucking floats around in your body going on Instagram and telling the government you went to the grocery store? No one fucking cares where you go, you absolute fucking fuck-barf. Fuck off with that. Fuck.

*snip*

Look, if you have been forwarded this essay from a friend or loved one, then there are two possibilities. Either you are a normal, regular, sensible fucking person like me who got fucking vaccinated at the first possible moment, and this essay channels all your fucking rage and sadness and is therefore cathartic OR, and I really hope this isn’t the fucking case, you AREN’T fucking vaccinated, and someone sent it to you because you fucking fucking fuck, you need to get fucking vaccinated.

*snip*

Go here to read the whole fucking thing: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-my-fucking-god-get-the-fucking-vaccine-already-you-fucking-fucks

[Skittles]

1. read, right fucking now

yes indeed

[OAITW r.2.0]

2. Great OP...maybe the most "fucks" crammed in on an OP!

[monkeyman1]

3. won't do any good ,maga-t's don't have that much comprehensive span !!

[OMGWTF]

4. My thoughts exactly!

[Jon King]

5. Breitbart editor says Dems using reverse psychology to kill Repugs.

The editor of Breitbart is now writing articles that the left is really pushing vaccines so strongly because they really want Repugs not to get the vaccine because if libs say to get it that means right wingers won't get it to rebel against the libs. Then the right wingers will die, then we can win more elections. Or are we saying to get it because we know it will track them with microchips? Hard to keep up with the nuttiness.

These nuts have twisted themselves up into so many knots they do not know which way is up. Don't get vaxxed to own the libs....no wait, get vaxxed to own the libs.

[aggiesal]

7. I'm fucking are fucking a fucking normal, fucking regular,

fucking sensible fucking person fucking like fucking you fucking who fucking got fucking vaccinated fucking at fucking the fucking first fucking possible fucking moment.

[Blue Owl]

8. Where's the fucker in charge of those fucking fucks?

I want a fucking word with them...

[malaise]

9. You called?

[Buns_of_Fire]

10. This is why nobody gives a fuck anymore. She cornered the market. nt