General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsUpdate on my friend from High School.
From https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215871193
She's been out of the hospital for about a week now. Tired, but apparently doing well enough.
There is a huge memorial service, viewing, funeral, the works, planned for her husband. The kids set up a webpage where you can RSVP and also donate towards the cost of the funeral. No mention of the huge medical bills they've accumulated, but maybe she just hasn't seen them yet. No request to wear masks or do any social distancing. Just donate and show up. Sort of like a per-plate dinner, I guess.
She sent out an email a few days ago to let people know about the webpage and say that she was in the hospital with pneumonia, but got oxygen and steroids and is all better now. She had posted earlier on her husband's FB page. Apparently, he died from fatigue. Well, except that he didn't "die." He "had an early home-going," according to many of the comments.
Seems as if their son actually is the only one in the crowd acknowledging that they both had Covid. I'm beside myself, not knowing what to do. I still haven't sent her a card or anything. I'm afraid it would say something mean, like "He didn't have to die!" or "Why aren't you using this opportunity to raise awareness of how serious Covid is and get a fucking vaccination???!!" or "I thought you were one of the smart kids in school! How did you let religion rot your brain so badly?" and, finally, "How can you be scheduling back-to-back super-spreader events with people who clearly don't get it? Do you want to make more widows?" You get the idea. Better for her to be hurt that I didn't say or do anything yet than to feel my ire at a difficult time .. or is it really that difficult if he simply "went home?"
I was going to send her a nice wind chime, as I'd read that are good bereavement gifts. But I'm still just finding myself so angry. Hurt, disappointed in dozens of ways, shocked, etc. I don't feel like comforting her, which also feels mean. She has always been so nice, cheerful, friendly, and not in-your-face religious. But I fear she is with the dark side and I just didn't see it.
So I'm just venting here. Thanks for letting me.
Stay safe, everyone.
LetMyPeopleVote
(145,063 posts)Tetrachloride
(7,826 posts)Large mobile vans give vaccinations in some areas.
the clinics are not centrally located in some cities.
samnsara
(17,615 posts)..sometimes that all that needs to be said
piddyprints
(14,642 posts)Thanks.
LisaL
(44,973 posts)If they survive covid, they don't want to acknowledge they actually had it.
piddyprints
(14,642 posts)in ways that make it harder for all of us.
I'd have thought this would have been a great learning opportunity.
hamsterjill
(15,220 posts)Died Sunday morning from COVID. Anti-vaxxer and had been on a vent since mid September.
The collateral damage are those she leaves behind without a mother and grandmother.
piddyprints
(14,642 posts)The collateral damage is what they never think about.
Even without Covid being communicable, the "it's about me!" attitude discounts the suffering of those left behind.
hamsterjill
(15,220 posts)Youre so right. The grand kids who wont have their grandmother. Its sad. Its stupid. Its senseless. And yet its happening every single day.
Klaralven
(7,510 posts)piddyprints
(14,642 posts)Thanks.
Hekate
(90,624 posts)
for old times sake. Your reactions to this grief are normal.
That said: when did people start putting on massive send-offs and expecting donations to defray the cost? Or is this something like mothers putting on their own daughters bridal and baby showers, where I totally missed the memo?
piddyprints
(14,642 posts)I might be able to do that.
The send-off is a puzzle to me. I mean, they weren't exactly poor. They could have bought enough life insurance to cover it. Or something. Or not have a big event?
When I die, if people spend a lot of money on a funeral and all the trimmings, I will come back and haunt them. I've requested cremation, no viewing, and just a little party with my best friends and family. Sprinkle me with the kitties or in the ocean or woods. Spend the money on fun stuff.
Hekate
(90,624 posts)PoindexterOglethorpe
(25,839 posts)including lots of booze.
I've also told my son that I specifically want him to purchase the airplane ticket for a particular friend of mine who otherwise would not be able to go to wherever this might be held. There will be more than adequate money to pay for these things.
Not that I expect to die any time soon, but I believe in planning ahead.
onethatcares
(16,165 posts)Neptune Society has mine planned. from down and out to gone to ashes within 3 days.
If anyone had anything to say to me, good or bad, they should have said it while we could share a 6 pack of beer.
luckone
(21,646 posts)Doctors Without Borders in his memory and give the family info to be notified (or some other charity of your choice ) usually you can add a brief note with an honor donation the family will get with the notice
They are helping with vaccine inequities globally. Many places still want the vaccine but they also do all kinds of other medical intervention so the family would not see it as a vaccination comment just an honor in his name . Hell no I would not donate to their big funeral
https://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/support-us/explore-donation-options?_ga=2.230807903.1515659201.1633971718-1646434637.1633971718&_gac=1.116322804.1633972451.Cj0KCQjwwY-LBhD6ARIsACvT72Mxg7NW83yWeUjGMG0eqzYzSMoSxxOL15wjOyZRUj1jOnSql5yZjrIaAopjEALw_wcB
piddyprints
(14,642 posts)Nope, not donating to the funeral. Not going either, primarily because it will be a big gathering and would involve travel.
3catwoman3
(23,968 posts)...something like - "How fortunate that you recovered. Please take good care of yourself in the future."
Thunderbeast
(3,404 posts)to a mother and grandmother of a 38 year-old Covid victim in rural Oregon. He was an anti-vaxer who was infected along with his wife and three children...one of them eight MONTHS old.
He thought he was protected...having survived an earlier bout of the virus. His mother was resigned to his fate after he refused the shot, even after his earlier infection.
Furious, she knew it was only a matter of time before his strident beliefs in the RWNJ agenda would kill him.
The man's wife is also anti-vax, and maintains her opinion. He left a wake of human wreckage in his path, and he is now beyond further accountability for their wellbeing.
SO SELFISH! All of this because of adolescent peer pressure from his redneck buddies.
piddyprints
(14,642 posts)I don't think I will live long enough to understand the logic, or even the emotion, that keeps people from getting vaccinated against Covid. I seriously doubt they all had exemptions from childhood vaccinations before going to school.
maxsolomon
(33,279 posts)You won't break through her delusion.
If you want, you can probably attend the memorial service N95 masked; should be safe enough. Don't hug anyone. Toss the mask after.
piddyprints
(14,642 posts)I'm not going. It would involve travel and a lot of inconvenience ... and be a nightmare if they're all super-religious idiots.
If my parents were still alive, I might visit them and then just be in the same town at the right time. But they're not, and I don't want to stay in a hotel or do any of the travel-type things.