My sister -a reflection ........next week she will be gone a year. I still can't thank DU enough

[demtenjeep]

Next week marks a year since my sister died of colon cancer.

You all helped me in those dark days. One by helping me raise enough money to give her the sendoff she deserved and two, by comforting me in those awful times.


She deserved better.

She deserved a life much better than she had. Her asshole of a husband raped her on their wedding night-molested two of her sisters (yes I was one) he abused their first born son so badly that after her funeral he vowed never to come back to this state and got fired from every job he ever had.

When I planned the funeral, they only had 5 grand in life insurance. He cried that he needed some of that for his burial. I flatly denied that and told him he could get his own policy and that we WERE using that for my sister.

I paid for her cemetery plot (and his too-cause I don't know) I wish I could take his away. He can rot in a lake for all I care.

Her asshole of a dick started dating in July and told us that she worships the ground he walks on and can even wear my dead sister's clothes.

He added her to our family chat without asking any of us.

WE were already contemplating cutting him off because he would post some horrid bullshit stuff and then claim he needed our forgiveness cause he was just still in mourning.

When my sister died, the three other sisters took a picture of our hands with her. It is my profile pic on my FB (I know-don't judge)

it has been there almost a year. a couple weeks ago he went off on us for taking that picture without he permission even tho I had ornaments made from that picture and gave them to him their sons and all of us siblings. He is just still looking for sympathy.

He also had all kinds of shit about anti masking and anti vaccine.

I finally had enough and told him that the family has decided we do not want him at any of our family things anymore and he literally had the gall to ask my siblings if they agreed. We put our foot down and now he is telling everyone how mean I am.


ME

one that he molested

One that paid for his literal last resting place

One that had to plan MY sister's funeral because he is to fucking stupid

One that raised the money to give her the send off she deserved





Anyway-this didn't start as a rant, but a reflective appreciative thank you to all of you that helped me take care of my sister-the one that never deserved any of the pain she dealt with in her short 65 years.

[MustLoveBeagles]

1. Good for you

You don't have to put up with his BS anymore.

[Tetrachloride]

2. Its an important story and worth every word.

( Ideal words fail me. )

gz on surviving.

[niyad]

3. I am so glad that you and your family have decided to 86 that toxic waste of

resources. Please take good care of yourself, be kind to you.

[demtenjeep]

22. that is exactly what he is

toxic waste of skin

[malaise]

4. Your sister was lucky to have you and

your other sisters

[onecaliberal]

5. You are a saint. I can't imagine having to do that for my step dad who did the same to me.

She is resting at peace now. 💕

[Clash City Rocker]

7. Good lord

I don’t even know anyone in your family, and after reading that, I want to take a 2x4 to the #”@%^’s head. But I guess living as him is the worst punishment he can face.

Sorry for what you went through. I wish you didn’t have to go through all that, but it sounds like you were a great sister to her.

[Hekate]

8. Demtenjeep, may you and your sisters continue to be good to each other

[Hortensis]

9. :) Hope the rant helped too, though. Your sister had you guys

in her life, and the strength of her sisters must have been an enduring comfort, as you are for each other.

[LittleGirl]

10. Hugs

I don’t speak to my sister and I prefer it that way.

[FakeNoose]

11. You'll always love your sister, and miss her

... but with time the pain won't be so great. You'll be able to reflect back on happier times, and you'll be able to smile through your tears. Eventually the anger and resentment towards your BIL will fade, and you'll remember the happier times of your sister's early days. I'm sorry this has been so heard on you, but things will get better.

Hugs to you my dear Demtenjeep! Never hesitate to reach out to us on DU. Prayers for you and your sister.

[calimary]

12. Dear God - the needless, senseless pain -

Dear demtenjeep, I wish I could hug you 100 times, times another 100.

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Your story tells of so much pain and suffering. Needless and incomprehensible, leaving only scars and cautionary tales.

Not everybody is designed to be a parent, e em up f they’re physically capable of it.

I’m so glad you survived and you clearly learned some important lessons - and learned them the hard way. I guess all we can really do, if that kind of background is part of the story, is to learn NOT to let that cruelty or negligence become a “hand-me-down” to the next generation.

Thank you for sharing your story. You paid for the “privilege”, in advance.

[GeoWilliam750]

13. Deepest sympathy

Wishing you strength and peace of mind and heart.

[packman]

14. The older you get the more you realize

Some people are just assholes and there is nothing that one can do to lift them out of their assholeishness (?). Well, you know what I mean. Your life is better with him out of it. Don't fret about it.

[marble falls]

15. You're pruning the tree of dead wood and rot. This is what one does to guarantee the health of ...

... the tree. It's a work in progress, painful and done surgically, but the tree is stronger for it. Reach for the stars like all other strong Oaks.

Soon, you'll have shaken his dust off your sandals.

[multigraincracker]

16. I can relate to some of your pain.

I hope it gets better every day for you.

[Withywindle]

17. I am sorry for your loss

And sorry that you have this POS in your life making things even more difficult. I'm glad you have your other sisters' support in cutting him out - you only put up with him for her sake, and now there's no reason to keep subjecting yourselves to his abuse.

Wishing you peace and strength.

[badhair77]

18. demtenjeep, vent away but you are too good.

You and your family have put up with far more than you should, now is the time to take care of yourselves and ditch that worthless, evil BIL. Nothing can ever make up for what he did to your sister and the rest of the family. Please spend the rest of your lives being kind to each other and yourselves. You all deserve it. This didn’t happen overnight so it will take some time to heal. Peace to you.

[gademocrat7]

19. You are a good and decent person.

So sorry you for your loss.

[UpInArms]

20. Well said

My sister has a saying for people like him …

He may not be much, but he is all he cares about

[demtenjeep]

21. thank you all

I can't believe it is still this hard!!!

[Maru Kitteh]

23. I can't believe it's been a year.

Have you called the cemetery? If you bought that plot, you own it.


Screw that worm.

[demtenjeep]

24. well-I had it put in their names because I live out of town and it would have been higher

so that fucker will get a plot


best I can do is hope he needs it sooner rather than later