Bannon Caught Fleeing U.S. Disguised as Man Who Recently Took Shower
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Steve Bannon was caught attempting to flee the United States disguised as a man who had recently taken a shower, T.S.A. officials have confirmed.
A T.S.A. agent at Reagan National Airport, Harland Dorrinson, explained how Bannon’s talent as a master of disguise nearly enabled him to board a plane to Moscow.
“He showered, shaved, and even combed his hair,” Dorrinson said. “He was totally unrecognizable.”
Bannon’s plan crumbled, however, during a routine pat down. “That’s when we noticed that his pants had a large mustard stain,” the T.S.A. agent said. “They evidently had not been laundered in months. One of my colleagues shouted, ‘It’s Bannon! Stop him!’ ”
Taken into custody, the former White House adviser seemed bitter about his foiled escape attempt. “I took a shower for no fucking reason,” he said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/bannon-caught-fleeing-us-disguised-as-man-who-recently-took-shower
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I've trained my mind to sniff out a Borowitz report within 10 words. 
I'm like a pig, sniffling the ground for truffles. 
