Why do I feel like we are being bullied in the playground and not fighting back?

[cayugafalls]

Let me explain.

When I was a young man, I got bullied, mercilessly. Every day after school, I was stalked and beaten by a gang of bullies. I had no way out. The main bully would start the beating and get me down and after others would pile on when he took a break. It was the worst year of my life and at 10 years old, I wanted to die. Summer came and I was able to shelter as normal and recover.

The next school year we were all bussed across town, so walking to school was out, but the bully was bussed too, so the bullying was about to continue.

I was a very nice kid and quickly made friends in the new school as, well, I was nice. I got a girlfriend quickly. She stole my watch off my wrist. Her brother brought me my watch and told me, "My sister likes you and wants you to be her boyfriend." I simply said, "Cool"

After that we all hung out in the playground together, the bully from my old school always waiting for his opportunity.

One day, I was alone in the playground and the bully and his friends cornered me and started in on me. A few shoves later and a group of my new friends and my girlfriends brother came to my aid.

After that, they taught me how to fight. Not fun fight. Dirty fight. The kind of fighting that quickly ends a brawl because it shocks the recipient and onlookers.

The next time I got bullied while alone, I fought. Dirty.

It never happened again.

We are in a fight for the democracy of this country and the other side fights dirty.

We need to stop being so freaking nice, even if it means calling out some of our 'own' on their choices to side with the enemy.

My apologies for the rant...thanks for listening/reading...I feel better now.

I'll go roast some coffee and feed the ducks.

cayugafalls

[TomDaisy]

1. we are being bullied and it makes us look weak. For Jan 6 to go basically unpunished...

it looks weak.

[cayugafalls]

7. THIS, so much this...

It makes my head spin that we can't seem to get any traction on the 1/6 commission...need more time I guess.

[TomDaisy]

9. I feel like we have battered wife syndrome in that those some psychological dynamics are playing out

[mzmolly]

26. I agree. My husband thinks our looking weak

is what turns off many male voters. He may be onto something.

[Ligyron]

29. I can assure you that is exactly what it is.

last time I said something to this effect and that they thought of Democrats as “sissy”, because that’s exactly what I’ve heard them called, I was jumped on.

and here we are.

[TomDaisy]

2. in some ways politics is now purely a game of volume. and we won't get loud.

we see where that gets us.

[CrackityJones75]

3. It isn't that we won't get loud.

We have plenty of people that will get loud. We don’t have the amplification of mainstream media.

[TomDaisy]

5. if we give them the content they want, they'll cover it. a nice full-on mud fight.

[FalloutShelter]

6. And there it is.

Exactly right the MSM spins is up and points us in the direction it wants to go. Facebook is not the only propaganda platform. Time to boycott the MSM. Why not save our money and drop the cable coverage that contains the 24 news networks?

[cayugafalls]

10. The people we need to get loud, don't.

The leaders don't get loud. The leaders play nice.

If the leaders get loud and start playing with the same rules...things will change.

We need to stop cowering in the corner and stand up and fight.

[Rebl2]

18. Got that right!

[inthewind21]

43. One word

Filibuster. Opportunity missed. ALL of this could have been avoided. These are self inflicted wounds.

[Rebl2]

74. True

Problem is some Democrats not on board with that. I do wish they were though.

[cayugafalls]

11. EXACTLY right. The people we need to get loud, do not.

The leaders need to stand up and fight back.

Stop playing nice. The other side does not give a damn about playing nice and I, for one, am tired of being beaten down by the blathering idiots of the right.

[LakeArenal]

4. It feels like bullying cuz it is.

However, they revel in bullyness not shamed by it.

I don’t know how to fight back political bullying but if Biden can do stuff “with a stroke of a pen” why aren’t we doing that?

I trust Biden to have a plan but I’m not seeing it yet.

I do know before the election folks here were saying it will take years to fix trumps damage. Now we are impatient after 10 months.

[cayugafalls]

8. We need to not be afraid to go after those on our side who aren't on our side...just saying...

I'm not going to point fingers and perhaps I'll get tagged for saying it, but we got to start showing there are consequences for cozying up to the other side and shunning our agenda.

[LakeArenal]

15. A bit, chips falling as they may.

[TomDaisy]

12. I've been "attacked" twice while working as a Democratic activist

the first time, I completely just broke.

the second time, when this guy chased me (tiny woman) down the street for handing out campaign literature, I yelled at him, threatened to call 911 and started filming him --- as he ran away.

#2 sits a lot better with me. Even though that kind of aggression is not my nature (and it was in some respects a risk) I sit at complete peace with that incident and I don't feel like a schmuck.

[Hortensis]

13. I often get that feeling from posts here. It takes big guts to

be a big political player.

[cayugafalls]

14. ???

[Hortensis]

16. I believe we're doing everything LEGAL that we can and

that if we smashed democratic processes and broke the law as Republicans do, the adverse consequences would vastly outweigh any good. I know you're not advocating illegal action, viciously dirty techniques, and attacking democracy ourselves, yet thread after thread does that, all full of posts demanding just that and agreeing passionately with each other. Participants don't realize their angry hoard is NOT representative of Democrats in general (who do not hang on political social media!).

Most of the Democratic electorate would be shocked and outraged, seriously repelled and disillusioned, at finding we'd been taken over by people who really were like Republicans. Because THEY are not.

The GOP gets away with what they do because most of THEIR voters want them to do it, and the rest accept it. BUT OUR VOTERS ARE DIFFERENT FROM THEM.

The Republicans and MSM, and no doubt the far left, would rush to paint us as the destroyers of democracy who must be stopped.

Most of those displaying anti-democracy attitudes and demanding GOP-ish actions, such as demonizing voters who disagree, calling for firing the parliamentarian because her decisions are valild and nonpartisan, blackmailing Machin (!), and on and on don't seem to realize they're pulling on the wrong end of the rope. Or don't care.

Sadly unappreciated or not, our professional Democrats are incredibly smarter than that and far, far too principled and committed to abandon the citadel and throw open the gates to join the barbarians attacking democracy.

But if we were serious about abandoning legal means to save our nation, I'd forget blackmailing Manchin into a timid puddle of go-along (since the most likely end to that would be Manchin on the warpath, a humongous scandal, and arrest and public prosecution of the Democratic conspirators). I'd want to go straight to surgically targeted election theft, high quality, highly effective and unprovable theft. Maybe a couple of assassinations as needed.

NOTE: This is NOT advocacy of illegal action, including election theft or assassination. For anyone who needs to be told that.

[cayugafalls]

35. Please point to anywhere in my post where I advocated breaking the law.

I did not.

I merely advocated to FIGHT.

we do not fight. We cower and scold.

Then cry when it does not go our way. At least that is my perception from where I sit. I am not a pundit, politician or legal beagle, just a concerned citizen on the side of democracy who is tired of cowering in the corner licking wounds.

There are ways to fight, that are not illegal...sheesh.

[Hortensis]

51. You didn't, they did. And I gave examples from the last few days.

Blackmail whoever's in our way. How clever!

I know a lot of it is just frustration and wishful thinking. So let's talk about that. What action do you imagine we could take that would be "dirty fight. The kind of fighting that quickly ends a brawl because it shocks the recipient and onlookers"?

It has to be legal. And obvious requirements: It has to accomplish one of our stated goals. It can't cost us more voter support than it gains. (Remembering that action unthical enough to trigger formal investigation and media attacks could lose the war we must win.)

I'm actually playing dirty now, of course, because I know you don't know. The people who call for us to "stop playing nice" don't know. I don't know either.

[cayugafalls]

53. You assume I don't know...but, I'll bite. Use the tools at our disposal right now.

End the filibuster. I am sure you will point out why that is not a good idea, or is illegal, or is fighting like McConnell...etc.

But it is a start.

Stop placating Manchin and Sinema. Call them to task. Primary them. Again, please feel free to point out why I am wrong and this too is illegal.

I like how you ask me to give examples, then hogtie me with obvious assumptive predilections.

In case you are interested, One of many petitions to end the filibuster...

https://sign.moveon.org/petitions/end-the-senate-filibuster-now

Peace.

[Hortensis]

71. But it has to be POSSIBLE and effective. But let's work on it.

HOW do we take two U.S. senators "to task," understanding that they're both extremely powerful and independent to the point of being effectively untouchable during their terms? Is there a specific goal you believe we can achieve with (specify) action?

Yes, someday we could try to encourage the voters of WV and AZ who've elected them to primary them, for better or worse, but that's years away, questionable if the voters would listen to us, and would not achieve any of our goals now, not even the tiniest one.

What I really hope for, Cayugafalls, is much less tolerance for and more discouragement of demands for illegal and highly unethical actions when they appear. They're shameful and they've become shamefully common. When inadvertently elicited, it would be appropriate to politely point out that illegal actions, and those inimical to democracy, are not options for our party.

[Wild blueberry]

17. Dems need to fight

At the local level, state level, and national. Not be cozy corporate Democratic Party trying to get along.
Fight!

[orangecrush]

19. Even if you lose

If you make it expensive for a bully, draw blood, tear skin, give him a pair of sore jewels with a well placed kick, he will think twice the next time.

[Midnight Writer]

23. Exactly.

[Evolve Dammit]

20. x1000! "I welcome their hatred" Where is that today? Sometimes you gotta fight hard. Legally.

[cayugafalls]

42. We have the tools, we just don't use them.

At least not as far as I can see.

But then, I am just a guy...who likes coffee and raises ducks...lol.

[inthewind21]

44. One word

FILIBUSTER!

[cayugafalls]

45. +1000000

[Evolve Dammit]

67. No it's a serious lack of messaging and no media outlets. The other side has taken over the airwaves

40 years ago, and we ignored it. I love ducks and coffee too! And love Your area. Watkins Glenn is awesome as is Cayuga Falls. My brother lived in the area and I visited many times.

[cayugafalls]

69. When it comes to the media, I am not sure there is an 'other side'

I did some research and wrote a paper almost 20 years ago about how you could trace the Conde Nast media empire back to a royal crier. I think it still holds true today that most mainstream media is controlled and manipulated by very old money and interest.

Keep the populace confused and focused on the wrong things...easy when you control the message.

[Evolve Dammit]

73. I think that is very likely. A small number of families control the affairs of many parts of world.

[hurple]

21. Because that is EXACTLY what is happening

Seriously, it is way past time to fight back.

[Escurumbele]

22. Because we are being bullied in the playground and we are not fighting back, that is why.

It is always the same thing, Democrats cower in a corner, while the evildoers march along, even when they are a minority...this country is being screwed by a minority.

[Magoo48]

24. We are being bullied.

We are sniveling and backpedaling. We are pointing our fingers and howling—he hit me.

[Midnight Writer]

25. Once upon a time...

A boy had a dog that took a crap in the family's yard.

The father told the boy to pick up the shit and eat it.

The boy refused.

The father told the boy that if he didn't eat the shit, he would get a whipping.

The boy refused again.

So the father grabbed the boy and gave him a sound whipping.

Afterwards, as the boy was sobbing, the father asked the boy a question.

"Wasn't taking that whipping better than eating shit?"

[yaesu]

27. playing nice with fascists, letting a few dems push fascist policy will not end well.nt

[Magoo48]

52. Yup, it's not a good look.

[hunter]

28. I was frequently beat up by the playground bullies when I was a kid...

... from middle school until I quit high school.

It didn't matter if I fought back or not.

In the long game of life I won.

More than forty years later a lot of those bullies are the most pathetic sorts of losers -- those that aren't dead.

The world my children grew up in was a little better. Anti-bullying education was taken very seriously. No teacher ever told a skinny squeaky highly reactive kid like me that all their problems would be solved if they'd just "be a man!" I heard that more than once.

This is a very positive thing for the kids who might be bullied, but it's also a positive thing for the kids who would be bullies. Maybe some of them will grow up and realize they don't have to be losers.

If we play the long game, and we are the party of honesty and decency, we win.

[cayugafalls]

37. I am glad you made it out. Seems you had to quit high school to survive. Sad.

Some decide suicide is better than fighting and never make it out.

Whether you realize it or not you fought back. You quit the system and found another way.

Still better than cowering in the corner until you can't take it anymore.

[hamsterjill]

30. This is the way a bully needs to be dealt with.

Last edited Wed Nov 3, 2021, 02:24 PM - Edit history (1)

Good for you!

Yes, Dems need to fight.

[cayugafalls]

46. Thank you...

Much love...

[Lollerskates]

31. Interesting

[Loge23]

32. We're right, but left with the blame.

Part of the problem is that we tend to think positively - that people will wake up and realize that R's are a fraud and offer no realistic cures to the many problems this country faces. So we figure sense will prevail. That notion is gone.
Apparently a fraud can be elected President, lie to Americans over 30,000 times, do absolutely nothing about climate change, voter rights, the COVID crisis, or infrastructure - or a host of other needs, conspire to overthrow an election and incite a mob of idiots to storm the Capitol, and still be revered by the R party! That is mind-boggling to us on the left, but it's real and it's working.
Sadly, the nation seems to be swerving to the right.
The Republicans have wrecked the labor unions, demonized government programs for the working class, sharply narrowed personal rights and voter access, and ignored the most serious health crisis in our lifetime - AND, seemingly successfully blamed it all on the left.

[inthewind21]

47. NO

The problem is we won the presidency, house AND senate. And we left the filibuster in place which left McConnell the one with the power in the Senate.

[tenderfoot]

33. It doesn't help when the teachers and principal are on the same side as the bullies

[Dystopian Optimist]

34. AMEN

The Marquis of Queensbury Rules ain't gonna cut it against America's ISIS.

[Paladin]

36. Crucial point, elegantly made. THANK YOU!

Our outdated good conduct risks not only the future of the Democratic Party---it risks the future of democracy itself.

The fascist bullies rely upon our wimpy behavior, time and time again. They flourish as a result of it---and it must stop.

[cayugafalls]

40. And the beauty of it all? We can do it within the legal framework and rules already in place.

We just need to USE the tools at our disposal.

[usaf-vet]

38. "After that, they taught me how to fight. Not fun fight. Dirty fight. The kind of fighting that....

... quickly ends a brawl because it shocks the recipient and onlookers.

Exactly! Every time the GQP push they know they can get away with it because our response is the same as always; it's our MO.

We take the high road. That is our modus operandi aka MO. We need to change that perception. When pushed, we need to put on brass knuckles, pull out collapsible batons, pepper spray, and tasers. We need to demonstrate shock and awe.

Draw a bit of metaphorical blood with our symbolic weapons used to fend off GQP bullies.

In all seriousness, we need to change our MO. Let's find the scrappers in our ranks and empower them to engage.

[cayugafalls]

41. And all these legal weapons are already at our ready, we just have to be bold enough to use them.

To shock the people by using that which is ALREADY at our disposal.

Stand up and fight hard using all tools at hand.

PERIOD.

[usaf-vet]

58. EXACTLY especially if used by someone who knows how to wield them.

[Lonestarblue]

39. I feel like we've been bullied since 2016, and we're all exhausted

[cayugafalls]

48. Yup, even before then, actually.

Probably why I need so much coffee...lol

[inthewind21]

49. The other side fights dirty

Because the DEMS allow it. I will scream it at the top of my lungs. WHY DOES THE FILIBUSTER STILL EXIST???????? It Allows McConnell complete control of the senate. Schumer needs to blacklist Sinema and Manchin, strip them of everything he can. The DCC and the DNC needs to cut them off. And before anyone says "but but we'll lose control of the Senate." Newsflash, we don't control it now, McConnell does because of the filibuster. And odds are, it will be formally lost in 2022 because NOTHING will get done because that god damn rule still exists and Sinema and Manchin were molly coddled and the public judges you by what you got done. WHich will be exactly zero at this rate. Show some courage, do the right thing, even it if costs you your job. Pelosi and the house did exactly that when the ACA passed. SEVERAL house DEMS lost their seats because of it. But it was the right thing to do. Stop effing worrying about losing control of a body that you DON'T have control of now and will most certainly formally lose if you keep insisting on trying to "work with" obstructionists, Republican and Democrat.

[cayugafalls]

55. +ASUPERBIGNUMBER!!!!

We will wind up cowering in the corner, licking our wounds and wondering what could have gone wrong.

Think it can't happen here? It is happening! And they are smiling while doing it.

Am I missing anything?

[Rabrrrrrr]

66. When I think of the amount of energy wasted dealing with Manchin and Sinema,

and the important things that energy is NOT being spent on, I am with you: cut the two off. Fuck 'em.

We can't spend 80% of our energy on two dumbfucks that no matter how much energy we spend are never going to play along anyway.

It's like churches that coddle the bully because the church is worried about alienating him/her and losing a member - newsflash, other people are leaving because of the bully, and new people aren't coming in because visitors can sense the tension.

Bullies are cancers, even if they are of your own kin - cut 'em out, throw 'em away.

I appreciate that the dems aren't as willing to throw people under the bus as the Republicans are; and the dems are far more concerned with consensus and fairness and non-authoritarian means... but the pukes are wiping the floor with us, even with us being ostensibly in charge.

Put on the adult pants, dems, and start kicking some asses.

[ananda]

50. Maybe because we are? Well, not all of us..

but certainly Garland has not set a strong
rule-of-law agenda regarding Republican
traitors and criminals.

[Initech]

54. When I was in high school I was bullied as well.

I took a lot of abuse (mine was more verbal than physical) and a lot of trips to the dean's office. And then one night my abuser's mom calls cold calling for Bob Dole and I answered the phone (of course there was no caller ID back then). Single most awkward moment of my entire life, I was like a deer in car headlights.

It was then that I figured out that the conservatives were the party of the people who beat up others in high school and I haven't associated myself with them since. It's even more apparent since MAGA became a thing. Most of the people who I know of that associate with the MAGA side are violent, abusive, and obnoxious. But that's the kind of mind that Trump attracts because he is one of them.

[cayugafalls]

56. I am glad you made it out of high school safely.

Much love to you, my friend.

Peace

[Initech]

61. Yeah I survived!

Bullying is an issue I do not take lightly, and it truly sickens me that Trump and Melania made a mockery of online bullying during their reign of terror when he is the biggest online bully on planet earth.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

81. We have too many

Dark triad personalities in our midst. Psychopathy,authoritarians and narcissists

Have a godamn political party now.
By latching on the repukes and taking it over. Dark triads are the biggest danger and they're all bullies.

We need to leagally kick the snot out of them.

[Initech]

82. Oh I know.

I've spent the last 5 years trying to figure out how so many people can associate themselves with such a mean, abusive, narcissistic and egomaniacal jackass like Trump. A man who embodies all the worst qualities a person can have. And I think it's because many of them are just like him. They're also sociopathic and abusive jerks and they need someone to look up to. And they listen to people who are equally like minded, like Alex Jones and Joe Rogan who ignite their anger on a daily basis. Then when the r/HermanCainAwards came along, seeing all the shit they pass around on Facebook only makes things worse.

I used to wonder how groups like the Taliban and ISIS got started. Watching the rise of the Proud Boys and the III%ers, now I get it. And I agree, it's time to lay the smackdown on them. Especially for what they did on January 6th.

[LaMouffette]

57. So, my dear fellow DUers, where do we begin? WHO exactly do we fight? HOW do we fight?

The loud and angry Republican activists identify specific, local scapegoats and then they go after them. Their scapegoats range from local school board members to state governors. Their actions range from just loud and angry to violent and reprehensible (e.g., the plan to kidnap Gov. Whitmer in Michigan).

Who can we Dems scapegoat in our respective states, counties, and cities, and what legal tactics can we use that are actually effective? Does calling our elected officials work or is it a waste of time? Should we protest at their offices? Does that work? And what specific issue do we begin with?

Here in Montana, for example, are we going to show up at Greg Gianforte's home with bullhorns at 1:00 a.m. and protest? Would that work if enough of us did it?

What about boycotts? Sit-ins? Specifically here in Montana, what would those look like?

There are 264,159 of us on this forum. We can make a difference if we take action together. We Dems need to step up, and I'm talking to myself as much as anyone.

Hmm. Personally, I am going to commit right here and now to get involved in my county's Democratic Party. A small step, to be sure, but I'm gonna do it as soon as I post this. Who's with me?

[cayugafalls]

59. You take that step to join your local party. That is awesome!

Go to city meetings, school board meetings, speak up, let your voice be heard. Run for a board position?

As for the political fight, I was thinking more along the lines of ending the filibuster, primarying manchin and sinema, removing them from any committees they might be on. Sure there would be some fall out, but nothing drastic, we currently aren't controlling anything anyways due to the filibuster and well, manchin and sinema, so what does it hurt to try and heal those 3 scars?

Work where there is need. Speak when voices need to be heard.

Peace.

[LaMouffette]

64. Okay, so I went to their website and signed up for their newsletter. How brave am I?

I know, the baby-ist of baby steps, but it's a start.

And I signed up to volunteer, and will keep checking back for events to help out with. I have some friends who are already active in our county's Dem Party, so I can ask them to let me know, too, when the next Dem event is.

Thanks for your post, cayugafalls! You got me to take at least one tiny step to start doing something!

[cayugafalls]

65. Congratulations!

One step at a time, we can win if we all pitch in!

You are awesome!

[LaMouffette]

70. Right back atcha!

[Brainfodder]

60. Media control IMHO is the main contributor to this toxicity, but this is world wide issue too?

Democrats, too nice and following the rules.

Republicans, doing whatever, no concern for consequences?

Our system is not workable any more as is, and good luck with getting a reboot?

[cayugafalls]

62. You bring up a valid point. The media is really the King's crier.

It speaks for the wealthy and those in control. The message is garbled and confusing because they want us confused.

Almost all mainstream media outlets can invariably be tied back to very old families that are related to Royal Criers...I did the research once long ago and wrote a paper. It all started long ago when I began researching the Conde Nast new empire...

Peace.

[Brainfodder]

63. Thanks for your tale btw, mine has some similar, but I am not going back 30+ years any more.

I left the area full of assholes I grew up with, like everywhere plenty of good people, I just ran into a lot of rotten kids which in hindsight means a lot of asshole parents.

Highly red county turns out too to no shock to much older and refined me.

5 hour flight far away...

Revenge is a better life lived without them!

[Texaswitchy]

68. Because we are.

Time to hit back.

[Iggo]

72. Because we are being bullied on the playground and not fighting back.

[Skittles]

75. it has long been like that

repukes fight dirty but Dems follow the rules - it needs to change, you have to fight fascism HARD, forget about protocol

[cayugafalls]

76. This. We are fighting fascism. Now is not the time to play nice.

If we do not fight with all we got, we will lose this country.

Our elected ones need to know that they have permission...

I get so tired when someone tries to school me on how we don't fight like that, we play by the rules, we shuffle our feet and go 'I shoulda done better and we will win it next time if we stick to our values and ethics.'

BS. The other side is BETTING on it. They see the wimp in the schoolyard and have no problem pouncing because they KNOW he will not fight back.

Peace.

[Skittles]

78. yup

the old rules cannot apply when what's up in the air is DEMOCRACY

[I_UndergroundPanther]

79. I was bullied too

And yes absolutely we are being bullied by rightwing narcissists and authoritarian thugs.

There are too many dark triad personalities among us.

We have to do something about it that's not nice.

[Joinfortmill]

80. I learned in 7th grade, gotta knock the bully on her ass.