Fauci Urges Americans to Use COVID as Excuse to Skip Thanksgiving with Horrible Relatives

[Rhiannon12866]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As an event dreaded by millions draws near, Dr. Anthony Fauci is urging all Americans to use covid-19 as an excuse to skip Thanksgiving with horrible relatives.

Speaking from his office at the National Institutes of Health, Fauci said that the covid-19 excuse could help prevent a seasonal surge in exasperation and seething rage associated with the Thanksgiving holiday.

“Covid-19 could get you off the hook this year,” Fauci said. “Consider this a doctor’s note from me.”

By using the pandemic as justification for skipping Thanksgiving, Americans can spare the feelings of relatives they despise, the esteemed virologist said.

“Tell your aunt from West Virginia that you’ll miss her, but you’ll look forward to reading her QAnon theories on Facebook,” he advised.

For his part, Fauci said that he intends to employ covid-19 as an excuse to exempt himself from other unpleasant activities. “I plan to use it to avoid seeing Rand Paul,” he said.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/fauci-urges-americans-to-use-covid-as-excuse-to-skip-thanksgiving-with-horrible-relatives

[hlthe2b]

1. I think Fauci would get a chuckle out of this... Good one...

[Rhiannon12866]

3. I think he would, too. The man has a sense of humor

That's how he's manages to persevere despite all the crap he's gotten from Rand Paul and the anti-vaxxers.

[brer cat]

2. I love Borowitz.

[MustLoveBeagles]

4. LOL

[JoeOtterbein]

5. I'm...

...using it again this year!

[Rhiannon12866]

25. Just be careful out there...

[brewens]

6. I'd share it on FB but my sister and BIL will see it. Dead giveaway. That's what I'm doing.

I'm claiming my upcoming knee replacement is the issue. That's a big factor, but it's mainly knowing some of his family are FG followers.

[SheltieLover]

7. Hahaha

Thx for sharing!

[George II]

8. I tried that with my in-laws, my wife won't let me do it though. And yes, some are trumpers.

[Rhiannon12866]

9. If they're not vaccinated, Dr. Fauci says you have a doctor's excuse

I do not think I could spend a day with anyone who actually supports Trump. Yikes! Good luck...

[George II]

10. They're vaccinated, no excuses. But I tried. It's tough sometimes, the toughest day of the year.

[Rhiannon12866]

11. The only thing I can think of to make it bearable is to agree that politics are off-limits

Restrict the discussions to food.

[Equomba]

14. But how does one handle the cultural appropriation, not to mention

the fetishization of food, by white folks?

"Cultural appropriation is when members of a dominant culture adopt parts of another culture from people that they’ve also systematically oppressed. The dominant culture can try the food and love the food without ever having to experience oppression because of their consumption.

With food, it isn’t just eating food from someone else’s culture. It might not be appropriation if you’re White and you love eating dumplings and hand pulled noodles. Enjoying food from another culture is perfectly fine.

But, food is appropriated when people from the dominant culture – in the case of the US, white folks – start to fetishize or commercialize it, and when they hoard access to that particular food."

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/11/foodie-without-appropriation/?utm_source=Solid+Ground+Contacts&utm_campaign=e5acd906a5-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_02_20_12_09_COPY_02&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_81a99090a7-e5acd906a5-

[Rhiannon12866]

15. Interesting point, and one I hadn't thought of before. But it is true.

And we have "Americanized" all kinds of food from different cultures, including the attempts at replicating what was supposedly eaten at the First Thanksgiving. And we see it every day, canned Chow Mein, frozen pizza, boxed Mexican food kits, and even frozen varieties of the pierogies that my Polish grandmother used to make - which aren't even close.

[Equomba]

18. Oh... my... doG...

Pierogies?

My grandmother's ancestry is Russian Mennonite. She used to prepare fantastic pierogies, I don't even recall now the ingredients but I'm thinking a homemade form of cottage cheese, along with sausage and a berry or two. Damn!

[Rhiannon12866]

21. My aunt learned how to make them, my mother never did.

And my aunt learned to make them from her Russian mother-in-law and then taught her 3 kids. I was told that the Russian variety traditionally contains potatoes while the Polish variety is usually sauerkraut. I can remember my grandmother making them, rinsing and draining the sauerkraut (and we kids liked them!). They were boiled, then fried in butter with bits of salt pork. She also made a kind of sweet bread that contained what she called "pot cheese," but that wasn't available here, either, so she used collage cheese which she drained overnight using cheese cloth. I wish I'd been able to learn how to cook from her, she made everything from scratch and never used any recipes. *sigh*

[electric_blue68]

23. Love pierogies...

I'm half 2nd gen Ukrainian American.

While I don't make them, I have them at a restaurant.
My Ukrainian grandmother died before I was born so didn't pick up any cooking.

Not a fan of cottage cheese. I love farmer's cheese. We'd add that to our basket of food to be blessed at church the day before Easter (unless it was Fri - very long time ago).

The big side of my family is 1st, 2nd, etc Greek American.
Made some things with my yia-yia (grandmother) when I was a kid.

Greek food was considered pretty ethnic like 50 - 60 yrs ago, I think. We had to go to a Greek Deli to get, like,
Feta cheese waaay back. Tounge, maybe, too? My dad loved that.

I heard that about Quinoa some years back. Definitely have read about food cultural appropriation.

[cannabis_flower]

12. I'd post it to Facebook but....

I think some of the RW idiots I know would think Fauci actually said that.

[groundloop]

13. We've already told my wife's son and D.I.L. that we won't be there......

We're on a cruise instead (where everyone is vaccinated vs. there being nobody who's vaccinated in their household).

[karin_sj]

16. This is hilarious!

[Iggo]

17. Well that's just good advice.

[tosh]

19. Just what I needed today!

[UTUSN]

20. K&R for the too true hah!

Good to have you back on the BOROWITZ beat after your sabatical!1

Your contract negotiations must have gotten you reduced a schedule.

[Rhiannon12866]

24. I was lucky to find this one, it's both funny - and timely

And of course we like Dr. Fauci...

[KentuckyWoman]

22. How can a guy be that smart and also hilarious.

That Mrs Fauci is a lucky woman.

OH, I just realized it's humor ... well ... even so... that Mrs. Fauci is a lucky woman....

[raccoon]

26. I Didn't know this was satire until I opened it and saw that it was Borowitz!

It’s getting very difficult to tell the difference between satire and real news.