"Why are you wearing a mask?"

[StrictlyRockers]

Link to tweet

RANDO AT THE MARKET: "Why are you wearing a mask?"

ME: "So I don't catch whatever makes you act like that."

[Atticus]

1. ME: "Well, ---cough, cough---I just tested---cough--- positive and I needed to---cough, cough, cough

pick up some supplies before ----GASP!---snort---- I isolate and I don't wanna---cough---SPREAD IT!---cough, cough, cough. cough-----------

[StrictlyRockers]

2. lol perfect

They probably wouldn't stick around long..

[calimary]

19. OOOOOooooooooooh! Brilliant!!!!!

I may have to try that sometime!

Only one thing - we're solidly staying in. And everybody we know and love and would ordinarily hang with is a cautious confirmed mask-wearer. My son wears two masks at a time.

[paleotn]

3. So I don't catch your myrid of diseases....

you incubus of viral plague.

[mgardener]

4. Priceless!!

[Aussie105]

5. "I'm not wearing a mask because . . . "

Lady of the older type, to younger, concerned girl, maybe her grand daughter, in a shop in front of me . . .

Girl: Signs say it's mandated. You have to wear a mask in this mall!

Old lady: No, 'mandated' means they have to have my permission. And they don't have it, so I don't have to wear one!

Me, behind her, chortles inside my mask. Says nothing, you can't argue with stupid!

COVID thanks you for your service!

Adelaide, Australia:

COVID is spreading.

Government wants people to stop lining up for testing, system is overloaded, shutting down, workers exhausted, 40+ degrees Centigrade for the last few days, only people with symptoms should line up, too many just want to know if they have it or not, or maybe just like lining up for 6 to 8 hours, camping out in their cars overnight . . .

Government says 'go do a home test instead'.
'If you test positive, just curl up at home, don't ring an ambulance, don't go to ER, they are busy.'
'Chances are, if you are double vaccinated and boosted, you will survive.'
(Totally ignoring possible age, co-morbidity complications they were shouting about from the rooftops earlier.)
'If you survive for 5 days, go out and get another test kit.'

Except home test kits . . . totally unavailable. I tried several local stores, grumpy counter staff say 'NO!'

COVID smiles . . .

[LoisB]

6. Good one!

[Demovictory9]

7. good one

[BlackSkimmer]

8. I've worn them even before Fauci said to do so.

No one has ever said a word to me about it.

[Rebl2]

10. Same here

[GoodRaisin]

16. Me too.

I started wearing masks while they were saying masks wouldn’t provide protection. I decided that didn’t make any sense.

[zipplewrath]

9. Because

Apparently I care more about you, than you care about me.

[NJCher]

12. +1

I'm using this if anyone ever asks me that question.

[Patterson]

11. So I can live long enough to vote against that MF traitor, Donald Trump.

[Bucky]

13. Proper response: "To protect your sorry ass ignorant self"

[Emile]

14. I say to people when asked, I woke up with flu symptoms.

That usually scares the shit out of them and back off quick!

[Picaro]

15. Bam!

Great retort! Doubt I could come up with anything that good.

[Ford_Prefect]

17. I answered one of them with, "Because I can read. What's your excuse"?

I got stunned silence in return.

[ShazzieB]

25. This is beautiful!

What a lovely image! Good work, Ford_Prefect!

[AllaN01Bear]

18. none of your businness. i love the comeback.

[niyad]

20. Love it.

[VarryOn]

21. It's none of their business and I would have explained it quite salty terms...

If I'm abiding by the law, they can pound sand.

[barbtries]

22. i read almost the entire thread.

it hasn't happened to me and likely won't, but if it does i have some good choices for a comeback. that was fun

[Skittles]

23. because I am not a Trump-humping piece of shit

no indeed

[cayugafalls]

24. Hasn't happened like that for me, yet.

Just a polite conversation while waiting for my booster.

I guess I look old, mean and ready to lay it down...lol.

My wife says I have 'scowl brows'??? WTH is that? I think it means I have deep ridge lines on my forehead...lol.

Makes me look like I am angry under the mask...

Before masks, I never had any problems making someone smile, I am always smiling. I just like to make people smile. Tell a joke, make 'em laugh. Kind of my mantra when I wake in the morning.

[ShazzieB]

26. Ha ha!

I would love to try the following, if I ever get the chance...

Random Maskhole: Why are you wearing a mask?

Me: Why are you NOT wearing one?

That's the comeback I'm planning to use if the need arises, because I like the idea of sending the valley back into their court and putting them on the spot. Return the awkward to sender!

[KY_EnviroGuy]

27. Quoting the Golden Rule may be effective.

Many forms of it exist with various and dubious history, but this is the one I'll always remember:

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."


Thanks for the good one, StrictlyRockers.........