We must get this pornography out of our schools!

[ashredux]

“….Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.”

Yes, this is from a book our children are reading right now!

Opps…never mind…this is from Ezekiel 23:19-22 in the Bible…
My Bad

[milestogo]

1. Is that from the illustrated Bible?

[secondwind]

2. Lol 😂 😂

[TheBlackAdder]

44. Boys and girls cannot only oogle Captain Underpants but also a drawn 13-year-old Mary.

.

Don't forget that 90-year-old Joseph when he consummates his marriage to the 14-year-old Mary.

.

[Kablooie]

3. That's not objectionable.

It doesn’t say penis or vagina so it’s fine. It’s the words themselves that children should never ever see.

[Miguelito Loveless]

5. It says "breasts"

absent the prefix "chicken/turkey", so it's porn.

[Kablooie]

10. You're right

[modrepub]

8. You'd Have To Read Greek or Hebrew

or whatever the original text was written in to be sure of that. The bible was translated into English. Who know's what liberties the translators took.

I recognize your by the way.

[IronLionZion]

14. It was mostly translated by celibate monks

who may have let their imaginations run wild with their own fantasies.

[Probatim]

27. Brother - the text is wrong.

It's says we're supposed to celebrate sex.

[IronLionZion]

28. Which is why God made it so enjoyable

[SCantiGOP]

40. I knew an old guy years ago used to say:

If the Good Lord made anything better, he kept it for himself.

[TexasBushwhacker]

33. Ancient Greek and Hebrew at that

The translators would have to be experts on the culture at the time to understand the context of what was written and choose an appropriate translation. That's why I think folks who take the English translation of the Bible as the literal truth, rather than metaphorically, just don't get it.

"Jesus told His disciples, “But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (Matthew 10:30).

The literalist interprets this as "God knows the exact number of hairs on your head" rather than just "God knows us intimately".

[orwell]

4. Deep Pyramid?

Ezekiel Does Egypt?

Buxom Biblical Babes XXIII?

[underpants]

6. Well there go my plans for the afternoon

[Captain Zero]

7. A parent committee could clip out this & other objectionable verses?

and deliver the decent conservative bible to their kids' schools?

[wryter2000]

15. The Shakespeare we had in high school had omissions

There would be three asterisks where they'd deleted words. I always checked my father's Shakespeare to see what they took out. The only one I remember is this line from Romeo and Juliet

"nor ope her lap to saint seducing gold."

[RobinA]

52. We Read Shakespeare,

A Winter's Tale, in 6th grade. Not sure why she picked that one, but... The teacher told us beforehand that it included what some people consider a bad word - bastard. She wanted us to know that she would warn us when it was coming in case it made us uncomfortable so we could skip that part if we wanted. The year was 1968.

[ashredux]

9. Raise your hand if you knew there were dildo references in the Bible.

“You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.” (Ezekiel 16:17)

[Kablooie]

11. Mommy, why is there no 23 in Ezekiel?

[ashredux]

12. Answer: Well Sweetie, the "Inerrant" word of God had a small correction that needed to be made.

Answer: Well Sweetie, the “Inerrant” word of God had a small correction that needed to be made.

[wryter2000]

13. That book does not belong in public schools

For sure.

[Moostache]

20. Amen to that (pun intended! - n/t)

[CaptainTruth]

51. +1

[IronLionZion]

16. Clicked on this thread expecting pornography

was not disappointed

[not fooled]

17. Paging Betty Bowers!

This one deserves erm, coverage.

[jmowreader]

18. You do realize...

...someone could become a filmmaker and spend his whole career making porn based on the Bible.

[Moostache]

19. Wouldn't worry...based on numbers of "nones" rising, they skip it now anyway (n/t)

[Vinca]

21. So I just read another post about yahoos wanting a book about Michele Obama removed from

the schools and replaced with the Bible! Someone needs to do a reading - aloud - at the school board meeting.

[Volaris]

22. Hysterical Literarure (google it, but...not at work lol)

[VWolf]

23. Every time someone quotes Ekekiel, I think of this:

[I_UndergroundPanther]

30. This👆

That video will forever be connected to assoles quoting Ezekial in my mind.

Thank you.

[calimary]

24. Wow! Some conservative busybody snowflake demanded FOUR copies of the Bible!

Last edited Tue Feb 1, 2022, 07:23 PM - Edit history (1)

What does that say for that side (besides all-bad, all-negative things)?

I think it’s proof who the REAL “snowflakes” are.

And we should start saying so at ANY AND ALL opportunities. This is one of those beautiful moments when we can take one of THEIR talking points and turn it around/upside-down/right on their asses. It puts that shitty insult to work - on OUR behalf. And it lets us “name ‘n’ frame” THEM!

THEY’RE the real “snowflakes” here.

And I find it pretty ironing that they’re demanding to decide what books offend or render “uncomfortable” some impressionable white-face’ers. Who’s the “snowflake” NOW, ‘eh?

[calimary]

25. "Who's the 'snowflake' NOW".

I can just see it in a bumper sticker…

[orleans]

26. lol! i never learned about this crap in sunday school!!!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel%2016-17&version=NIV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel+23&version=NIV

[Talitha]

31. Wow - that is some twisted shit!

[BComplex]

49. So...these women were the guilty ones? They had all this sex all by themselves?

Fancy that!

[FakeNoose]

29. There are some parts of the Bible that Sunday preachers never read out loud

I'm pretty sure that's one of them.

[llmart]

35. Maybe if they did...

their flock would grow, in more ways than one.

[Blue Owl]

32. Filth... FILTH!!!

[LuckyCharms]

34. I got a little chubby reading that.

[NullTuples]

48. Gross.

[BComplex]

50. Ha!

[MiHale]

36. These guys really got it on with animals...

Donkey dicks, horse ejaculate all while getting your breasts fondled, what the heck?

Sick stuff!

[czarjak]

37. Nothing beats the babble

[bucolic_frolic]

38. Odd that the Puritanicals never focus

on porn very much. I guess they can't subdue and control enough people's lives going that route

[TrogL]

39. Check out Song of Solomon

[KS Toronado]

43. I've told a lot of ladies to check out Song of Solomon 1:9 in the Living Bible.

Always brought a smile and even laughter.

[KS Toronado]

41. So when will repugs start burning their bibles?

And ban them from school libraries?

[keithbvadu2]

42. Dont need porn

[peppertree]

46. Her husband on the other hand...

[peppertree]

45. Let them wail and gnash teeth

[Ferrets are Cool]

47. We MUST burn all Bibles.

Just to be sure.

[TomWilm]

53. Thy vulva a round goblet, wanteth not liquor ...

Song of Solomon 7:2

The noun שֹׁרֶר (shorer) is a hapax legomenon, appearing in the OT only here. There is debate whether it means “navel” or “vulva”. Lys and Pope suggest that שֹׁרֶר is related to Arabic srr (“secret place, pudenda, coition, fornication”). They suggest that this is contextually supported by three factors:
(a) His descriptive praise of her is in ascending order, beginning with her feet and concluding with her hair. The movement from her thighs (7:1b), to her vulva (7:2a), and then to her waist (7:2b) would fit this.
(b) The descriptive comparison to a glass of wine would be grotesque if her navel were in view—her navel was moist or filled with liquid?—but appropriate if her vulva were in view.
(c) The navel would be a somewhat synonymous reference to the belly which is already denoted by בִּטְנֵךְ (bitnekh, “belly”) in the following line. Because 7:1-7 does not use synonymous parallelism, the term שֹׁרֶר would have to refer to something other than the belly.