Americans less likely to have sex, partner up and get married than ever

[brooklynite]

CNN

(CNN)Valentine's Day is a day of love, a special day on which we're supposed to make sure that those around us know how much we care for them. But on this day when Cupid is supposed to strike us with his arrow, there are several reasons to think "love" (by its many definitions) isn't what it once was in the United States, for better or for worse.

Twenty-six percent of Americans ages 18 and up didn't have sex once over the past 12 months, according to the 2021 General Social Survey. You might think this is just a pandemic effect, but it's part of a long-term trend. The two years with next-highest percentage of adults saying they didn't have sex once in the past year were 2016 (23%) and 2018 (23%) -- the last two times the survey was conducted. Before 2004, the highest percentage of Americans who said they hadn't had sex in the past year was 19%.

It's not just about sex. Some 62% of Americans ages 25 to 54 lived with a partner or were married, according to a 2021 Pew Research Center study of 2019 US Census Bureau data. This included 53% who were married and 9% who were cohabitating. That's well below the 71% of couples who lived together in 1990, with 67% married and 4% cohabitating.

The General Social Survey has, on and off since 1986, asked participants whether they had a steady partner. This past year, 30% of adults ages 25 to 54 (the same age bracket as the Pew study) indicated that they did not have a steady partner. In 1986, it was 20%. In fact, the percentage of 25- to 54-year-olds who said they didn't have a steady partner never topped 23% prior to the 2010s. It's been 25% or above in every survey since.

43 years, personally....

[Aristus]

1. There's no longer any confidence that a steady job can provide for all that a family needs.

Never mind vacations, college tuition, and retirement planning. Just being able to feed and house a family is becoming prohibitively expensive.

The PTB can either improve wages and salaries, or they can stop belly-aching that no one wants to work, get married, or start families anymore.

[Victor_c3]

2. 41 year old single guy here

I was married for almost 14 years until my ex left me for a guy she had a crush on in middle school about 3.5 years ago. Since then, I’ve only had one girlfriend and that relationship lasted about 3 months.

I’m significantly happier being single and living every aspect of my life on my terms than being in a relationship.

I have a few “lady friends” that I see a from time to time, but those relationships are very casual and only about the sex. We meet for an afternoon or evening a few times a month to satiate our urges and that’s it.

I’ve found that there are plenty of single women my age that feel the same as me. They’ve got kids and careers and they’re tired of putting up with a partners crap.

[Chainfire]

3. No wonder the right wingers are so angry

Maybe they all need a shot of vitamin S. Of course I can understand why decent women would want one of them...

As long as there have been armies, there have been brothels, many times, supervised by the armies, (the American Army too) to keep their troops happy. Perhaps we could set up a similar national system so that the Nazi bastards could get calmed down a tad. We wouldn't have to use real women, just some of those $5,000.00 dolls, hell, they wouldn't know the difference. "Yea, Bubba, I could tell, she really liked me."

Seriously though, I think that for the younger generations, any kind of commitment is very hard for them. My kids are Millennials and I see it in them. They are both approaching 40 and neither has had any relationships that spanned a year. There mother and I have been married for going on 51 years, so it is hard for us to understand. There is something to be said to wake up every morning with someone who has your back.

[malletgirl02]

7. So single people are bad people?

You know what I am tired if this. I am tired of being looked down on, dismissed, and thought of less of a person, because I never been in a relationship. I have better manners and people skills than many of the supposedly superior people in long term relationships. I not bitter by never being in a relationship, but I am bothered by people who have a problem with my lack of relationships. Just because, I am not wanted by some man, doesn't mean I don't have value.

[smirkymonkey]

15. No, I don't think that's true and more people are choosing to remain single every day.

Have you ever read anything by Bella DePaulo? She is the foremost expert on "singleness" in the country and I like her positive take on it. Here is her website, but she has written numerous articles and books advocating for elevating "singlehood" into a life choice just as acceptable as marriage or living with an S.O.

http://www.belladepaulo.com/

You should check it out. I think you - and others - will find it enlightening and uplifting.

[Chainfire]

18. Where did you get that from?

I don't care or judge other people's decisions on how they want to spend their lives. Like I said, both of my kids are near 40 and neither are in long term relationships. It is their choice, I love them, support them and don't judge their lifestyles. I certainly don't judge strangers because of their life choices.

I can only guess that you are upset that I mentioned that I had been married for 51 years. I am proud of that, I have worked hard at it, it is not easy, and it requires a lot of sacrifice, sharing and patience. I am damn glad that I am growing old with my wonderful wife. If you think that my sharing that was an attack on you, then I am sorry.

[smirkymonkey]

4. Well, now I don't feel so pathetic.

So that's an upside.

[sarisataka]

5. In an unrelated story

Pornhub subscriptions are up 26%

[uponit7771]

6. +1

[Stallion]

10. Giggle

Its been a rough couple of years. Chicks used to dig-me. Now they can't even find me!

[Volaris]

11. Why in the hell would you ever SUBSCRIBE lol!?

[Sympthsical]

8. No marriage, thanks

It's fine for other people, I just choose not to. Saw too many friends and family growing up and now as an adult deal with the legal and financial ass ache of a relationship breaking apart. I have navigated my adult life without getting overly entangled in another person's things, and it is an approach that has suited me very well so far.

My partner and I own a house together, and that is just about as far as I'm willing to go. I have seen too many people do too much crazy shit when their finances and assets are intimately entwined.

Super hard pass.

[smirkymonkey]

14. I agree. Even owning a house or condo with someone else kind of freaks me out.

I only trust dogs, and they don't make any money, so it's a non-issue for me at this point.

[sakabatou]

9. I mean, it's not like marriage and raising kids is expensive.

Oh wait..

[Calculating]

16. Social media has ruined people

That and the widespread availability of porn. Unrealistic expectations and weird sexual fetishes abound.

[radius777]

17. People should do what makes them happy.

Some people really like to be coupled, others don't, or go through phases where they want to be in a relationship and just want to be single. Both situations have their benefits and drawbacks.