Amelia Earhart's letter to George Putnam, setting out terms for marriage, 1931

[Nevilledog]

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Fascinating

[PatSeg]

1. It certainly is fascinating

[WheelWalker]

5. Indeed. Fascinating.

[PCIntern]

2. Wow.

Lotsa reading between the lines. Glad I wasn’t her (or his) therapist.

[lagomorph777]

7. ...or spouse to be.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

10. Why would she need a therapist?

[PCIntern]

11. Who doesn't?

[calimary]

41. No kidding!

[meadowlander]

22. Seems a lot healthier than 99.999% of relationships in 1931.

At least she's being honest about what she needs.

[PCIntern]

45. Absolutely

That’s why she needs a therapist: to deal with the unhealthy.

[TreasonousBastard]

3. Betcha a lot of women felt that way, but only Amelia had the guts to say it.

[Demsrule86]

25. I don't know. I don't feel that way now...I am medieval and would be super angry if my partner

strayed nor would I stray. However, she is quite remarkable for her time.

[brush]

4. At least she was honest. If I were him, I'd turn and run the other way.

[PatSeg]

6. I believe their marriage was also a business arrangement

He was like her manager. A combination of love and expediency.

[secondwind]

8. It feels sort of creepy to read this kind of personal letter... just sayin'

[WarGamer]

9. an amazing independent woman who refused to be bound by ANYTHING, gravity, love or gender stereotype

[chia]

12. Yep. People are different. Some can never be caged, and she was true to herself. That takes so

Last edited Wed Feb 16, 2022, 05:10 PM - Edit history (1)

much courage when trueness colors outside the lines society draws. If her beloved was agreeable to her terms, whose business was it but theirs?

[LoveMyCali]

34. That's what makes me wonder

why even bother getting married?

[calimary]

42. I guess it depends on how marriage is viewed.

For example, what kind of marriage? The traditional kind or a more personal version.

Not everything is one-size-fits-all.

[chia]

43. In her time, living together was unheard of, and in fact illegal in some states, as were laws

against fornication and adultery. So historically, it was either marriage or spinsterhood for women, and it seems, from that letter, that she was weighing her odds and options.

[Chainfire]

13. The way she expressed her feelings, I wonder why consider marriage at all?

You would think that an informal relationship would have suited her needs better.

[Ms. Toad]

15. 1931 should be explanation enough.

4 decades later, I was still not entitled to a credit card unless a man sponsored it.

[kskiska]

21. Same here.

After filing for divorce, a department store declined my card and explained that my husband had canceled it. The thing is, he never had anything at all to do with that card. I worked, it was in my name, and paid by me. BUT…the department store guy expected ME to pay off the balance, $50 or so. I refused. I told him that if it's not my card, he can go to the owner for payment.

[Hekate]

14. Sounds like a woman under immense pressure

[hlthe2b]

16. Ever a heroine of mine... RIP, Amelia

wherever you may be.

[Pepsidog]

17. Does "medieval code of faithfulness" mean women were seen as property and had few rights then?

I’m not sure what she means by that statement.

[mathematic]

31. She's talking about monogamy

She's saying that she doesn't care if he sleeps around because, hey, she's gonna do it.

These days we say she'll marry him if he agrees to an open marriage.

[TheRickles]

18. Why (and how) has such a personal letter been made public?

[FakeNoose]

24. One wonders why it wasn't immediately flushed down the toilet

I agree that this is a private transaction between two people. George Putnam may have responded verbally but we'll never know.

[Silent3]

38. Maybe because they knew better about how not to clog up the plumbing...

...than some people apparently do?

[deurbano]

39. LOL

[SYFROYH]

19. She was extraordinary.

[Pepsidog]

20. Speaking of cool old documents, I just found out that my good friend's family last year purchased an

original copy of the Declaration of Independence for 4.4 million. It’s what called a “broadside” it isn’t a signed one but a copy of the original that went out to the colonies and were nailed to say tavern walls for people to read. I think maybe 12 or so exist, I’m not sure. I didn’t realize that the signed DOI in Philadelphia is a commemorative copy that the delegates signed as the original would have been sent to the king. They are a very rich and philanthropic family and will display it for the public. Pretty cool.

[Hortensis]

37. Interesting. Thanks, Pepsidog.

[obamanut2012]

23. Amelia Earhart was gay

Her marriage to Putnam was a business relationship between friends and associates. They both knew what was what.

[Farmer-Rick]

26. Yeah, I thought that was pretty well established

She was gay and it sounds like she wants an open marriage.

Very cool letter. What an interesting person.

[Demsrule86]

27. It will never be known if she was bi-sexual or gay.

[Submariner]

28. She has Sam Kinison's attitude on marriage

She was ahead of her time, and If only she was born later they could have been a heck of a dating pair.

[bucolic_frolic]

29. Would be a good place to start discussion for those pondering marriage

because the faithfulness, it ain't there for a lotta peoples.

[heckles65]

30. "I agree that this is a private transaction between two people"

I agree - but both parties are long gone, so that any harm is minimal. This just confirms what I always thought of the woman - she might have played up to contemporary expectations but she was definitely her own person.

[MineralMan]

32. A very interesting letter, particularly from 1931.

She was, apparently, a woman who demanded to be herself. She would agree to marry, but only under conditions she could live with. Good for her. Why not?

She made no false presentations, nor did she shy away from some decidedly unconventional things in that time.

He was her own person, and would not brook being anything else for anybody.

Such agreements are certainly more common now than then, but even now most people leave much unsaid and unagreed when they marry. More's the pity.

I would have liked to know her. She would have had my complete respect.

[brooklynite]

33. That's all well and good, but who was going to do the laundry?

[MineralMan]

35. Probably someone hired to do that job.

However, in my house, I do the laundry. My wife and I have agreed on that. My office is on the lower level, at our current home and was at our previous home. The laundry equipment is also on that level. So, it makes sense that I do that mundane task. It's more convenient for me to do it, since I'm near the equipment.

I also fold the clothes and put them where they belong. However my wife has a very particular system for hanging her clothing in the closet, so she does that herself.

We have agreements about most household chores. I do the cooking and cleanup and handle all household repairs and outdoor tasks. She does the vacuuming and other cleaning. Unless there is a reasonable need for one of us to handle the other person's chores, we stick to those agreements.

We have agreements about things. We are reasonable people.

[Hortensis]

40. :) The freedoms of "sophisticated" choices and economic independence

are all over this. Neither of them concerned themselves with domestic chores beyond hiring others to do them.

The laundry part must be nice. I wouldn't know.

[IzzaNuDay]

36. No "traditional" marriage for her!

She knew the pressures of being a traditional married woman of that day. She wanted marriage on her own terms. Good for her!

[soldierant]

44. IIRC, it was Agatha Christie, through one of her characters,

said (and I paraphraseanything not in quotes) that marriage was a very individual thing, and no one who was not a partner in any given marriage had any right to judge, "not even a child of that marriage."

No children here, but that was such a strong opinion that it stuck in my mind I think but won't guarantee the statement was in "Five Little Pigs" (which had more than one title.)