To all of DU: I am sorry I asked for help trying to reunite with my wife
As I write this, I literally have tears streaming down my face.
For all who have, words cannot express adequately how grateful I am. I've lived a two year nightmare and a lot of you have really come to bat for me. I wish there is something I can do to repay your kindness and a sincere, heartfelt thank and gratitude seems woefully inadequate.
But all this morning, I have been defending myself against people who think I am using this for ulterior motives. I have none. If the policies in China didn't change, I would have done this all myself.
I know I will never change anyone's mind who are convinced that I am not being honest.
1: Yes, I am going to a film festival in April. I paid for it out of my paycheck. I was under orders to keep it as cheap as possible so I can bring money from my salary back to China with me as I will not get paid there until September. Which I did by checking with her every single place I could stay.
2: 40% of my net pay goes to my wife in China every month, so I am literally living hand to mouth. As a teacher, I get $1537 every two weeks. Then I have bills, food, and gas. I haven't been out except to go to Tucson for business in months and the closest thing I get to "eating out" is a subway, Eegee's, or In and Out burger as I am driving either to or from Tucson.
3: I have limited medical care for fear that medical bills would hurt me.
4: I have gone nowhere since last June with was to Puerto Penasco in Mexico for a long weekend.
5: I am literally supporting myself, my wife, and her family on my paycheck right now. I asked no one to help me and I wouldn't accept it if they did.
I'm sorry people think I'm a fraud. I'm sorry for asking for help. It is my business and as such, it is my responsibility. But last night, when I video chatted with my wife, she smiled for the first time in a long time knowing I was coming home and we can finally start our family. She knows that men in my family don't normally live passed 65 and I am 43.
I hadn't seen my wife smile like that for a very long time. The last time I saw my wife face to face, she was crying and refusing to let me go at Pudong Airport. I still remember her video chatting me on the flight last year in Detroit, tears streaming down her face asking why they were doing this to her and that she was afraid to move because "they are watching me," then putting her phone camera over her should to see two male CBP officers glaring at her with their arms crossed. She quickly disconnected and didn't speak to me again until she was in Shanghai.
If people want to see the reason I did this, swallowed my pride, and asked for help, here it is:
Those are our official Chinese red marriage books. The ugly bald troll is me, the pretty Chinese woman with the long hair is my wife, Wei Huan 魏欢. That's why I set up a GFM. I had no where else to turn.
And now, I feel lower than lower for doing that after this morning. I need to take time away from DU. For all of those who helped me, words cannot express my undying love and gratitude for all of you. I wish I could do or say more.
So all of you know, I have setup an account at my Credit Union for all the GFM and other funds. It won't even go into my bank account and I gave my mother the account information and the card that came with it.
I'm sorry I put everything here through this. I really do feel like I am horrible person. I typed all of this with tears in my eyes.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I was happy to donate to you. I wish you and your wife nothing but happiness in the future. 
that gives a chronological story of your struggles. Many may be reacting to confusion over what exactly has happened and I think that would help a lot.
I must have missed the thread where people accused you of being dishonest, but if I had, I would have had a lot to say about it. Most of us here are kind, but it doesn't take a lot of cyberbullying to make a person feel awful. I'm angry on your behalf because there's nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. No one should be shamed for it.
Also: you are not an ugly troll. Your kindness shines through in that photo, and that makes you as beautiful as your wife. (Mr. Femmedem is bald, and I think he's beautiful, too.)
I'll never understand that mentality
Just check the GFM for updates and take a break from this place for a short while to recharge. Sometimes I have to take short breaks and that works wonders for me. Also be liberal in your use of the ignore button. I sorry for what you're going through.
I hope you raise the moeny soon and are reunited.
I’ve booked flights a year in advance. 
