in defense (sort of) of Will Smith

[cab67]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by Yonnie3 (a host of the General Discussion forum).

I do not, in any way, condone Will Smith's decision to strike Chris Rock. At all.

Had the police gotten involved, I would not have been upset. He assaulted someone. That's a violation of the law.

It's also not my place to forgive. That's up to Chris Rock.

But in this case, I'm not going to condemn Smith for this one action. He remains, in my eyes, a great actor, and although I remain somewhat disappointed in him, I don't plan to write him off.

1. That the joke Chris Rock told about Jada Pinkett Smith didn't justify an assault goes without saying. Nevertheless - had I been Will Smith, I'd have been pissed off, and the thought of popping Chris Rock in the mouth would have crossed my mind.

My wife was the target of a focused bullying campaign at her former workplace. I've been in the room while her integrity was impugned behind her back. Although no one was hit, I certainly defended her, usually with language that would have earned the exchange an R rating. So I say all of this having been in situations similar in some respects - not all respects by any means, but some - to what Will Smith encountered.

Does this betray a level of latent toxic masculinity on my part? Maybe. I don't know. I'm not a psychologist. The animals I work on have exactly two emotions - indifferent and enraged - and they behave the same regardless. But I was also bullied very badly until midway through high school, and I react strongly when I see people being needlessly put down, as Jada Pinkett Smith was.

I've also embraced the progressive ideal of condemning jokes directed against people who are dealing with medical conditions, as Jada Pinkett Smith is. Had I been her husband, I'd at least have said something.

I've generally been a fan of Chris Rock, but frankly this particular joke was beneath his talent, and he should have apologized the moment he saw that the joke's target was offended.

It's not a matter of a man assuming women are incapable of defending themselves in situations like this. It's a matter of speaking out against an attack directed toward a loved one.

2. There are "apologies," and there are apologies. What Will Smith has said ever since the incident isn't one of those "I'm sorry if anyone was offended" non-apologies. He acknowledged what he did was wrong and that it caused harm beyond the person he hit. He hasn't shifted any of the blame to anyone else, so far as I can tell. He's taken ownership of the incident and indicated a willingness to ensure it doesn't happen again.

I've seen people try to minimize his apology. "He's only sorry he got caught" and such. Again, not a psychologist here. I cannot assess another person's mindset. But the apologies he's provided in public appear genuine, and at the very least, they're an example others who cross the line should follow when expressing contrition.

3. In general, I'm not a fan of condemning someone for one lapse of judgment. Obviously, there are exceptions. Some acts are so egregious that they cannot be so easily set aside. That, or they reveal a level of internal depravity suggesting that the lapse of judgment may not have been a one-off event.

I'm reminded of the joke about a farmer who complains about not being remembered for the barns he helped built, the leadership he showed when his community was hit with a natural disaster, the willingness he showed to help teach younger farmers, the wonderful and accomplished children he raised, or the prosperity he worked hard to make for himself. "Am I called Fred the Barn-Builder? Fred the Civic Leader? Fred the Dad? Fred the Teacher? Fred the Hard-Working Farmer? No. You fuck one goat, and...."

Like I said, what Will Smith did was wrong. But I'm not willing to set his whole body of work aside because of it.


I'd also like to make a point for those who think this really isn't a big issue worth discussion on DU. First - I, and many others, are capable of following more than one news item at a time. I've kept track of global events beyond this. Second - I'm probably not the only one here who suffered from severe and constant bullying as a kid, nor am I probably the only such bullying victim here who felt a certain level of triggering from the incident at the Oscars. For some of us, this isn't just celebrity gossip.


anyway, my opinions. They're worth exactly what you paid for them, I suppose.

[unblock]

1. The joke was offensive, but not inappropriate in that context

I'm not a fan of insult comedy/roasting similarly, as it runs against my liberal sensibilities as well. Beyond direct insult, such jokes perpetuate negative stereotypes and stigmas.

But for whatever reason, comedy is afforded an general exemption for this kind of humor. Beyond that, celebrities are expected to gracefully accept mocking and insults an so on as part of the gig. Beyond that, the award shows specifically have included such roasting for years. Beyond that, jokes in Hollywood about casting and roles based on physical appearance are completely normal. Beyond that, jada and will knew going in what to expect.

Beyond even that, jada and will knew all this going into it. Not their first rodeo. Front and center, Hollywood power couple with gossip around, and nominee, there's no way they didn't know that roasting would happen and that they were a prime target. At the bare minimum, they could have better prepared themselves emotionally. Or, they could have declined to attend (yes there are obviously center advantages to attending but nominees and even winners have been absent before) or even politely asked Chris weeks prior to avoid roasting jada about her alopecia.


Now, say such jokes at a party and people might understandably get offended. Say such jokes in the workplace and you can and should be reviewed, disciplined, and quite possibly fired. Exact same joke, completely offensive and inappropriate in those contexts.

But in the specific context, it was quite tame. Not that technically, the joke implied she was a good actor who could step into a leading role, and it likened her to another actor widely praised as strong and beautiful in that role.

I totally get and respect though, that it points out something that jada understandably didn't want pointed out, and that calling attention to an effect of a disease is on its face insensitive, and that women and particularly black women are even more sensitive to comments about alopecia.


Now, if the outcome of all this is that the academy stops doing celebrity roasting altogether, I'd be fine with that. As noted, I've never been a fan of such comedy. Im just noting that this particular joke was no more offensive than any of a hundred such jokes already told at the academy awards over the years and over which no one decided to commit a violent crime over.

[Bayard]

2. I'm with you

Although, Will may have waited until after the show to get in Rock's face, and it didn't have to be physical. I'd say both men learned a hard lesson.

Making fun of someone's medical condition is never acceptable.

I always enjoy Will Smith's movies.

[Yonnie3]

3. Locking ...

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