Putin's defense minister has had a "massive heart attack"

[FelineOverlord]

Link to tweet

Link to tweet

Link to tweet

[Tommy Carcetti]

1. The fabled Russian Heart Attack

Known to exclusively target anyone of the Kremlin's ire/disappointment.

[Effete Snob]

12. Second time for this guy

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10654163/Has-Sergei-Shoigu-HEART-ATTACK.html

Has Russia's defence minister had a HEART ATTACK? Ukraine claims missing Sergei Shoigu who has not been seen for 15 days collapsed after Putin accused him of botching invasion

Ukrainian adviser Anton Gerashchenko claims Sergei Shoigu had a heart attack
He says his medical episode after Putin accused him of botching invasion
Defence minister Sergei Shoigu has not been seen in public for 15 days
Kremlin accused of faking zoom call with Shoigu on Thursday

By Rachael Bunyan For Mailonline

Published: 21:58 EDT, 25 March 2022 | Updated: 04:11 EDT, 26 March 2022

[Bird Lady]

63. imagine my surprise when reading this...

He actually had a heart. I was convinced he didn't have one.

[Pachamama]

71. Yes, often brought on after an unfortunate fall from a 4th story window

[lame54]

2. Keep going Putin

[lindysalsagal]

50. Come on, Vladl! Show 'em who's boss! Why stop now???

[milestogo]

3. Bummer.

[Escurumbele]

47. That is a wonderful quote by Desmond Tutu

I have a group that I send "Inspirational Quote of the Day" every day, I sent that one today. Thank you.

[Lovie777]

4. Is Russia realizing that Ukraine is up for the battle and in the end . . ....

win the war?

[COL Mustard]

5. Electrodes connected to your testicles will do that

At least that's what I've heard!

[zuul]

25. Or said heart attack occurred between the 3rd and 4th floors of the building he was tossed from.

[COL Mustard]

38. That's also a possibility

It's not the fall that kills you...it's that sudden stop.

[Lucky Luciano]

44. Yeah I always say that rapid deceleration sucks.

[rickford66]

45. Gravity is only a theory.

[lindysalsagal]

51. I love DU!

[COL Mustard]

68. Have you done your own research?

[rickford66]

70. Of course

With a boomerang and a yo yo. Neither proved anything concrete. Just as mysterious as the tides.

[COL Mustard]

73. Zing!!!

Nice one!!!

[yardwork]

52. Well, the heart does stop.

[COL Mustard]

69. And blood pressure goes to zero

It happens to us all one day. I'd love to know the truth about Shoigu.

[oldsoftie]

67. I'm sorry, but HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[JanMichael]

48. Ha! Too true.

[Buns_of_Fire]

6. I wonder if this was before or after the self-inflicted severe beating. nt

[Ray Bruns]

14. It was after he shot himself in the back of the head - twice.

[lastlib]

54. ...at close range.....

..with a gun he didn't own......

[Straw Man]

72. With a bow and arrow ...

[Aristus]

7. The heart attack occurred while he was falling from a fifth-story window.

It wouldn't surprise me...

[Effete Snob]

13. How long does that take?

Because this heart attack has lasted a couple of weeks already...


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10654163/Has-Sergei-Shoigu-HEART-ATTACK.html

Has Russia's defence minister had a HEART ATTACK? Ukraine claims missing Sergei Shoigu who has not been seen for 15 days collapsed after Putin accused him of botching invasion

Ukrainian adviser Anton Gerashchenko claims Sergei Shoigu had a heart attack
He says his medical episode after Putin accused him of botching invasion
Defence minister Sergei Shoigu has not been seen in public for 15 days
Kremlin accused of faking zoom call with Shoigu on Thursday

By Rachael Bunyan For Mailonline

Published: 21:58 EDT, 25 March 2022 | Updated: 04:11 EDT, 26 March 2022

[dweller]

16. He was woozy

after self administering a poison supplement vitamin prescribed by pootie



✌🏻

[Brother Buzz]

19. DUzy worthy!

[mahina]

22. Onto a bullet

[LuckyCharms]

29. LOL...

One of those cases where you're casually scrolling down through the comments, and one of them cracks you up.

[thucythucy]

8. I didn't know he had a heart. nt

[Irish_Dem]

9. His heart was attacked by a bullet.

[Turbineguy]

10. Let's go, Putin.

[Effete Snob]

11. He had one last month too

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10654163/Has-Sergei-Shoigu-HEART-ATTACK.html

Has Russia's defence minister had a HEART ATTACK? Ukraine claims missing Sergei Shoigu who has not been seen for 15 days collapsed after Putin accused him of botching invasion

Ukrainian adviser Anton Gerashchenko claims Sergei Shoigu had a heart attack
He says his medical episode after Putin accused him of botching invasion
Defence minister Sergei Shoigu has not been seen in public for 15 days
Kremlin accused of faking zoom call with Shoigu on Thursday

By Rachael Bunyan For Mailonline

Published: 21:58 EDT, 25 March 2022 | Updated: 04:11 EDT, 26 March 2022

[usonian]

15. You'll never die from a heart attack .... if you have tea with Putin. nt

[867-5309.]

17. "which led to Russia's defeat in the war against Ukraine."

I like the sound of that, but I'm not letting myself think this is done.

[Celerity]

18. time for the fabled 'window drop'

[speak easy]

40. Potassium Chloride

... delivered under the armpit. Virtually undetectable.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

20. Putin can't help it if the guy can't hold his polonium.

[Crunchy Frog]

21. I read that last night and thought it was satire.

It's like they're turning into a parody of themselves.

[2naSalit]

23. Pooptin had to have somebody to kill...

For his big boat sinking last night.

CONFIRMED on Deadline WH about ten minutes ago, Muskovo has sunk as per the russians.

[nuxvomica]

24. IIRC, in Soviet times they would say someone had a "brain aneurysm"

Meaning they'd been shot in the head.

[tblue37]

26. As he fell out of a window?

[blogslug]

27. hmm

I will wait for confirmation from a more reputable news source other than British tabloids. Not saying they're wrong but so far, they're the only ones running with this story.

[meow2u3]

28. Massive heart attack, all right

This "heart attack" involved foreign matter. Whether it be liquid, solid, or high-speed foreign matter is yet to be known.

[obamanut2012]

30. Poisoning will do that to you

[Raine]

31. Didn't think you could have a heart attack with no heart. 🤔 nt

[lonely bird]

32. High speed lead poisoning?

Concrete poisoning when he hit the ground after a massive gravity storm?

[MerryBlooms]

39. 😂

[nolabear]

33. You can't make this stuff up.

Actually it’s the best sign of failure I’ve seen yet. Blame and flame.

[MontanaMama]

34. By "massive heart attack"

they mean he drank polonium tea or fell out of a window.

[SunSeeker]

35. At this rate, Putin is going to run out of Novichok. nt

[FailureToCommunicate]

55. Dang, I knew I should've bought stock in that stuff.

[maxsolomon]

36. Shoigu is one of Putin's oldest friends, if he has any friends.

I'll take this with a grain of salt.

Putin cannot be shocked that the Generals were embezzling; it's basically how Russia works.

[lindysalsagal]

53. Vlad taught them well....

[SunSeeker]

58. Right?

[ffr]

37. Darn. I was hoping that the general was helping Putin through his heart attack

and to allow the brutal murderer of thousands and international war criminal, some time off.

[Carlitos Brigante]

41. Suuuuure. Just like Aleksander Litvinenko..... nt

[lpbk2713]

42. Putin's 'special military operation' is turning to shit right before his eyes.

It won't be long before they go home with their tail between their legs.

[world wide wally]

43. Figure it out on your own, Russians

[Kablooie]

46. Putin's fallen back to what he knows he does best.

Killing Russians that don't please him.
Must be like comfort food for him.

[hatrack]

49. Betcha can't kill just one!!

.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

56. Carrying around all that fruit salad and being around Putin will do it.

I suspect the only safe profession in Russia right now is bartender......

[llashram]

57. easy come-easy go

[gaskinite]

59. Looks like a lot of Captains are due for promotion

LMAO! Fuck you Pootie

[anamnua]

60. Putin's defense minister has had a "massive heart attack"

[BWdem4life]

61. Not needed anyway

Russia is not currently on Defense, they're on Offense. (That could change, though...)

[C Moon]

62. Strange how Russian heart attacks can break bones and crush skulls.

[nycbos]

64. Did he fall out of a window?

[Mysterian]

65. Is this the guy who had to tell Rooty about the ship?

Maybe a heart attack caused by a Russian pistol.

[Trueblue Texan]

66. I believe I said it here first...

...the reason Russia is failing so miserably is because Putin isn't the only one stealing from Russia's assets. oops! Was that OUR military funds lining my pockets, Comrade?

[uponit7771]

74. +1,

[Emile]

75. To top that bad news they lost their flag ship to a few Ukrainians giving them the finger!