Man told job not to celebrate his birthday. He was awarded $450K following unwanted party.

[Demovictory9]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/man-told-job-not-to-celebrate-his-birthday-he-was-awarded-450k-following-unwanted-party/ar-AAWibkV

A Kentucky man with an anxiety disorder asked his former employer not to celebrate his birthday because it triggers panic attacks.

When the company, Gravity Diagnostics, ignored Kevin Berling's request and had a surprise lunchtime celebration for him on Aug. 7, 2019, he got upset. Days later Berling was fired, according to a lawsuit he filed in a Kenton County court against the company.


On March 31, a jury awarded him $450,000. The jury found that Berling suffered an "adverse employment action" because of his anxiety disability, court documents show.

The saga began in August 2019 when Berling told his office manager that he did not want to celebrate his birthday because it would trigger a panic attack. The company has a practice of having birthday celebrations at the office for employees, the lawsuit, filed in 2019, says.

However, on the day of his birthday, the company surprised him with a celebration in the lunchroom. Berling had a panic attack, the suit says. He quickly left and finished the rest of his lunch in his car and then texted his manager for failing to accommodate his request.

A day after the celebration, Berling was called into a meeting where he "was confronted and criticized" for his reaction, according to the lawsuit.

[smirkymonkey]

1. K&R

Interesting. Thank you.

[Haggard Celine]

2. Good for him.

A lot of people still don't take mental illnesses seriously, or they think it's funny and that it's just a quirk that they could control with more "willpower." The poor man told them not to do it and they just had to do it anyway. What if he had told them that a surprise party would have given him a heart attack, would they have had the party then?

[exboyfil]

4. That is a real problem

People don't listen. No party means no party. To fire him instead of apologizing to him is beyond belief.

[Demovictory9]

6. I've seen employees (male) retire with no notice... I figure it's to avoid the retirement party

[exboyfil]

8. Happens sometimes at my work

A guy I have worked with for over 30 years at two different employers is going out the door that way next month.

[iluvtennis]

9. Exactly. When people tell you their health situation- believe them. n/t

[exboyfil]

3. Team building

and the obligatory Christmas party.

I always wonder about this emphasis on socializing with your coworkers. I am an engineer, and I just want to get into work, do my job, and get out. I have my own friends and interests that do not align much with my coworkers.

I especially love the team building that requires you to dig into your own pocket. I was shocked how much a round of golf cost.

My daughter went on the hamster wheel of doing all the extracurricular stuff one year (she works for the same company). I mean she did everything and still got a meets expectations. She said f---k it and dropped that. She still feels obligated to do the lunches and stuff. I on the other hand wouldn't mind a nice financial settlement to walk out the door if they push me on not participating. It isn't that I don't enjoy my work and my coworkers, but I keep my work separate from my personal life. It does take a great deal of energy everyday to overcome my social anxiety.

[Igel]

11. A lot of extroverts think introversion is a kind of mental illness.

They see extroverts all around, and think themselves the overwhelming majority.

Most estimates say extroverts are 50-75% of people in the US.

Most random samples say it's just about 50-50, with women a bit more extroverted than men.

[Demovictory9]

14. An extrovert gave me a "come out of your shell" talk recently

It was so patronizing i was too shocked to respond

Subtext was that she was superior because she blabs all the time

[Wounded Bear]

12. Socializing with co-workers can have some positive benefits, but coercing it is a real bozo nono. nt

[ProfessorGAC]

13. I Made No Lasting Friends At Work

I was friendly with many people over the years, but I wasn't there to develop friendships.
Building friendly relationships is certainly valuable, but I was capable of finding friends with whom I shared interests outside of the job.
Now admittedly, I'm not one who needs a big number a friends. A few is just right for me. (Not counting my wife who is my best friend.)
I don't consider making friends at work a fault in others, but I just never felt worrying about that was right for me.

[Sympthsical]

16. I never socialize with co-workers as a rule

First, because I'm a manager. Second, because my private life is private. There's no reason for anything involving what I do outside of work to enter work. Third, because my experiences in the past resulted in my "social" time with them generally revolving around talking about work. That's not relaxing. I do not want to discuss work when I'm not working. My dad's best friends were his co-workers, and he'd get home from work, call his friends, and they'd sit there and discuss work for hours. Why?

I'm friendly with my co-workers. We make idle small talk during down times in meetings and things. But I'm not going to sit there and discuss my relationship and family with them. Boundaries are a thing.

My partner is the complete opposite. We had a BBQ a month or so back specifically for his co-workers. I was completely baffled. He has lots of non-work friends, so the choice was odd to me. They basically sat in my living room and kitchen and discussed work for six hours. So not a thing in my world.

Again, I like my co-workers. I just don't want them in my house, lol.

[gldstwmn]

18. I worked for a company that put the squeeze on us to do a payroll deduction for charity.

There were literally incentives.

[exboyfil]

20. They backed off that at my work

They used to be more Nazi about it. My charitiable contributions are my own business and why should the company get credit for what I give (which happens).

[Demovictory9]

24. always happened when I worked in the private sector.. company want to say 100% participation

so MAJOR SQUEEZE with big bosses getting list of who was and wasn't participating

[betsuni]

5. ...

[Demovictory9]

7. lol

[tanyev]

10. Good.

Last edited Sun Apr 17, 2022, 09:53 AM - Edit history (1)

One of the admins on our floor must be a frustrated event planner. In addition to quarterly birthday parties, we have parties and office decorations for just about every season and holiday in the year. I think it's ridiculous.

[Demovictory9]

15. I am ok with.the decor. Just dont want forced participation

My last job was chill..some.never participated..it was not noted

[Jedi Guy]

17. "We have parties and office decorations..."

This drove me insane at my previous employer. I provided admin support for the collections team, and every so often they'd bring in employees from the brick-and-mortar branches for "war rooms" to focus on bringing down the AR for specified branches, as well as to swap tips and expertise. All well and good, of course.

What wasn't well and good was that our management forced us to decorate the office like it was a second grade classroom. I'm talking about tacky, dollar-store decorations hanging from the ceiling, dollar-store knickknacks on desks (for instance, a little plastic shovel and a pail like a child might use at the beach), that kind of thing. It made the office uglier than it already was, and cluttered to boot.

They also insisted on making everyone play stupid games, like putting on diving fins and jumping rope, dumb little obstacle courses, etc. At least they gave up on that after one of my fellow admins broke her foot, though.

[mainer]

19. Some of us hate to be the center of attention

Eons ago, I told my husband I never wanted a birthday party. Never, never, never.
He didn't believe me. He thinks everyone loves having a party in their honor.
So he got together a surprise party for my 50th. I wanted to hide in the bathroom.

Later he said, "I guess you were telling the truth. You really don't want birthday parties."

It's hard for a lot of people to understand.

[chowder66]

21. I had an issue similar to this. Every job I let them know I was hypoglycemic.

and that I didn't eat sugar or simple carbs unless it was an emergency.

This way they would know if I had to suddenly bolt to the break room and eat something to manage my blood sugar levels, this was the reason.

So when my birthday came around they got me a cake which I cannot eat. I had to disclose this issue to everyone standing around because I wasn't eating any cake. The next year they did it again. This happened at every corporation I worked for.

They basically had a birthday party for themselves every year and when I reminded them every time about why I don't eat cake there was always someone saying you can have a small piece, it would be rude not to.

I asked them to stop celebrating my birthday politely and that I would prefer going out to lunch on my own. The ignored me and kept at it.

I started calling in sick on my birthday after that.

The thing is, it was MY birthday and it was MY wish to not celebrate it with people who obviously didn't give a damn and yet I was the one being rude!

I'm grateful that I've been able to work from home for 16 years now.

[Demovictory9]

22. same thing if you tell them you are on a diet (I learned not to do that)

"you can have just a small piece"... if you stay in your office, someone will bring you a piece of cake. I learned to say "thank you" and secretly toss the cake

[chowder66]

23. Good on you!

My pet peeve is people being inconsiderate when you have plainly stated your wishes.
I just made it a point to sit in front of them while they ate "my" cake aka their cake, obviously.

One year we got a new woman in HR at my last on-site job who heard me and she brought me a big batch of mixed nuts. I was extremely grateful and let her know. Luckily I've been able to work from home for the last 16 years so I no longer have that problem.