Forget the Proud Boys, our abuser destroyed both my older sister and younger brother in foster care, and she was another malignant narcissist. She could sing "How Great Thou Art" like the saints were marching in, and she was the sacrificial saint fighting for our protection in public. The things that rolled out of her mouth were far worse than having your head beat up against a wall by your ears. The two middle sisters survived, and I was the only one NOT sexually abused. But I took more than my fair share of beatings with a razor strap because "I was too proud to be demeaned at that level." Everyone in my whitebread rural conservative Christian "duty to report" community knew, it was just easier to look the other way. Teachers, family, pastors, coaches. Hell, the football coach was the one who molested my oldest sister. A two year old boy who lost both parents was so beaten and bullied he never made it out of high school able to function in the real world. He matriculated to prison, just in case you never heard of the "foster care to prison pipeline." The two people who testified that they were terrified of him were the ones who beat, tormented and terrorized him. Just in case the Proud Boys don't think domestic abuse happens to males too.
Within months of my fathers death my thirteen year old sister was pregnant by my Uncle, his wife, my mothers sister called her a liar. She still does. Abortion had just become legal, and I don't recall DNA evidence being a thing in 1973 but you can bet those two God loving Christian Republicans made sure she got an abortion.
In school, we all knew who the others were, the ones no one protected, no one defended. Guess what? We are EVERYWHERE. Mostly shamed into silence "for the good name of the family." oh, and good ole patriarchy. A man sat and watched her do what she did and did not protect us either, Bible or some such. You want to see protection in those situations, you should see how isolation of the four of us protected those four social security checks that went into their savings account every month, their retirement income. If only we had known, or were even capable of that kind of thought, it was a federal crime to steal the checks, but we had two months after aging out after graduation to report the theft-we aged out and our family ended the day the checks did, we had to be self supporting with no preparation to do so the day we graduated. So yeah, their crimes went unpunished.
Suddenly out of the blue with no record of being violent before at 50? Bullshit. Getting up in an aggressive abusers face and "giving as good as you get" and throwing hands when you suffer a lifetime of PTSD and have full blown panic attacks around loud and aggressive people? Your fight or flight has no metric on threat level and the only cure is competent counseling and training to control a fight or flight that works overtime no matter what? And that person "gives as good as they get?" BULLSHIT.
We are the people she fucked over as much as him.
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