My liberal views, which are enormously influenced by my experiences as a minority, became an issue for the wife of one of my husband’s friends. They were wealthy enough to fly down to Florida every weekend to watch their son’s college games. We barely saw our son four times a year. Summer, thanksgiving, Christmas and parent’s weekend. So, I think people who can connect more than we can are truly blessed. I don’t harbor ill will. Happy for them and I truly appreciate the time I have with my kids.
Now, this friend’s wife has dropped lots of unkind comments. In the early years, when we talked politics, she would smugly remind me that our college leaned conservative. Another time she said that she couldn’t see herself going on vacation with someone who she didn’t have a lot in common with because it would be uncomfortable, or maybe not restful. I don’t remember which. But we never have gone on vacation together.
Jump twenty years to a dinner where they said that their daughter was marrying another girl. I have to itemize the weirdness that ensued:
1) another frat brother laughed hysterically and made one insulting question after another. Who wears the dress? He just reeled ithem off one after the other. I reminded him that this was his close friend’s child and he was sitting across from us, hence part of the conversation. It didn’t matter.
2) They learned that one of my gay friends recently married and they asked questions about the wedding. I described It to them and reminded them that one wedding did not make me an expert.
3) I realized that the mother was having trouble with her daighter’s gay orientation. I was thinking how hard it must have been for the daughter to come out and said, “It’s easier when you have someone else in the family who is also gay,” I was referring to the daughter coming out. (In my gay nephew’s case, he had an uncle from his father’s side. We all knew and were just waiting for him to pick his moment. Sadly, something happened in the news and he had a meltdown on Facebook, angrily coming out in a discussion with his Catholic school high school classmates. But we all embraced him.) But, back to the mother of the bride, she processed my comment in the worst way possible. “Are you saying it’s hereditary?” Jesus.
4) At the end of the dinner I congratulated them and said their children had good taste. (They had also shown pictures of the straight son who was also getting married.) She looked away in disgust.
So, yeah. I would have never guessed that people my age would still have these hang ups, but here we are.
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