I am a new widow asking for help. Thank you all so much!

[BlueLucy]

Last edited Sat Jun 11, 2022, 02:38 PM - Edit history (1)

I lost my husband to cancer in January. I'm having a hard time without him both financially and emotionally. I feel humiliated even having to ask for help. I live on SSDI of $1032/mo. I'm waiting for my number to come up for housing. Any help would be so very helpful.

Thank you.


Update:
I'm Very grateful to all who have donated. I was on the brink of losing my internet. With a 19 yr old autistic son that would have been very un-pleasant. I was also able to pay my garbage bill, $160 not covered by Medicare for my upcoming surgery in July and 1 months rent. I was so filled with stress and anxiety before all your help. I want you all to know how very grateful I am.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/new-widow-with-bills

[MLAA]

1. So, so sorry your devastating loss.

Was able to help a little. Sending

[BlueLucy]

2. Thank you so very much.

I really appreciate your help. It's hard. I miss him so very much.

[MLAA]

3. I can't imagine how hard it must be. ❤️💗💖

[question everything]

4. So sorry about this. Hope this helps

[BlueLucy]

7. Thank you so very much.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.

[Liberty Belle]

5. Have you applied for SNAP (food stamps)? Or maybe there is a local food bank?

Don't feel embarassed asking for help.

Do you belong to a church or other religious institution? Helping members is one thing organized religious groups are good for -- bringing food, helping with yard work or other chores etc.

Are you able to work at all? There are many jobs available now, including some you can do working remotely from home, if you don't get enough donations to tide you over.

[BlueLucy]

6. I do get SNAP

I don't belong to a church. I just moved to this town about 2 years ago from Portland. With my husband having cancer before he died and COVID I have just been very careful. I can't work. I'm disabled. I gave a rare lung disease called Pulmonary Langerhans cell histiocytosis. My son is autistic but he is looking for work right now. I think he can do hotel work nightshift or restaurant work. Thank you so much!

[KS Toronado]

8. Shouldn't you get your husband's SS also?

My Mom got a big raise after my Dad passed.

[elleng]

12. Who is eligible for Social Security survivor benefits?

A widow or widower age 60 or older (age 50 or older if they have a disability). A surviving divorced spouse, under certain circumstances. A widow or widower at any age who is caring for the deceased's child who is under age 16 or has a disability and receiving child's benefits.

[BlueLucy]

17. I had a interview with SS about this already.

I would qualify for 70% of my husbands SS but only if it would be less than my own. They let you have one or the other but not both.

[CrispyQ]

36. "...but only if it would be less than my own."

What am I missing?

So if 70% of your spouse's SS is less than your SS, you qualify for the survivor benefit. But if you take it, then you actually get less money than if you just keep your own SS. ???

I thought the point of survivor benefits is to make sure your income doesn't go down. I'm missing something or our system is more fucked up than I realized.

[BlueLucy]

37. Oh Sorry I meant more.

If 70% or my husband's SS is more than my own than I can have his. Mine at $1032.00/mo turns out to be more than 70% of my husbands.

[CrispyQ]

39. Thanks for clarifying.

The sad thing is, I could totally believe they would do something like that.

[spudspud]

9. Gave what I could spare right now. Hope it helps and that things get better for you. /nt

[BlueLucy]

20. Thank you.

I am so very grateful.

[pnwmom]

10. In case you didn't know, a widow can apply for spousal Social Security benefits at age 60.

I realize you might be younger than that, or maybe you weren't married long enough, but just in case you thought you had to wait till 62, the minimum wage for a widow is 60.

https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/survivors/survivorchartred.html#:~:text=The%20earliest%20a%20widow%20or,retirement%20age%20as%20a%20survivor.

[Rhiannon12866]

11. I am so terribly sorry that you're going through this, especially after having lost your husband

I've been through some tough times as well so I donated too - I truly hope that things get better and that you reach your goal to tide you over. Hang in there, DU is in your corner...

[arthritisR_US]

13. Where do you live?

[arthritisR_US]

14. I ask this because I'm thinking about the airfare that

I need to get you to where I am for you to live. We have a 3 bedroom home waiting for you.

[BlackSkimmer]

25. Wow, how generous of you. Surely the OP will take you up on that.

[renate]

43. You are a literal angel

What a big, beautiful, loving, compassionate heart you have.

[BlueLucy]

16. I live in Kelso WA. nt

[arthritisR_US]

26. That's not that far from Calgary, AB

[BlueLucy]

27. 14 hour drive.

I've never been.

[arthritisR_US]

30. Crumb, I didn't realize it was that long away. I love

the Rockies are so close. Hiking them gives me reprieve to this world’s insanity.

[tblue37]

15. K&R for visibility. nt

[AntivaxHunters]

18. I'm sorry this should NEVER be a thing

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's not right.
This country is so fucked up. They got money for war but none for the poor.

[BlueLucy]

19. Thank you very much.

Just when you think big corporations can't get any greedier... they show us that they can. This inflation is nothing but greed.

[AntivaxHunters]

21. Inflaation is but a small factor

Poor people have never been taken care of this country. The fact you only get just over $1k to live on should cause outrage in everyone. How does anyone live on that!? It's forced poverty from the government.

[BlueLucy]

22. It's hard.

It's not survivable without housing relief. I'm on a waitlist, hopefully it will be just a few more months. Hygiene products, cleaning supplies, etc... on top of bills that absolutely have to be paid. It's hard.

[BlueLucy]

23. Bump. nt

[BlueLucy]

24. I'm so very grateful to everyone who has donated.

Thank you so very much! It has relieved me from a lot of stress and sleepless nights.

[lunatica]

28. Go to your local Social Security administration

and talk to someone about getting your husband’s social security. Be sure to take his social security number, his full legal name and and his birth and death certificates.
I’m sure they’ll help you one way or another. No one can live on $1032 a month!

I was able to get my husband’s social security simply because I was married to him for 10 years by their rules. I had that income for years before I retired and changed to getting my own SS income.

[BlueLucy]

29. I tried.

I won't be eligible for my husbands full SS until I m 62, I'm 55 right now. Right now I am eligible for 70% of his but mine turns out to be higher right now than 70% of his.

[lunatica]

31. That's too bad

Do you work? I am getting a small pension from retiring from UC Berkeley. So I live on that and my social security. I had to leave California though because it’s too expensive to live there. I moved to New Mexico and really like it! I sold my condo in California and was able to buy one in Santa Fe which I bought outright after paying off my mortgage on the first one plus all my other debts. I now live on around $2500 a month. It’s possible to change and manage with a lot less if you’re willing to explore your options.

I sent you a bit online. Good luck, and hugs to you!

[BlueLucy]

32. Part of the reason I moved from Portland to Kelso was the high rent cost in PDX

I think my best bet is to wait for housing help and live off the $1032. I get to buy pharmacy goods like vitamins, Tylenol, etc.. with with my Medicare advantage. It helps a lot.

[Treefrog]

33. Someone on this thread has offered you a place to live.

Perhaps worth looking into?

I won’t be donating because I’m sure you don’t want any money from posters you called trashy on another thread. Oh well.

All the best.

[BlueLucy]

34. Can you link me to that thread?

I know I have behaved bratty at times. I'm sorry. I'm very grateful to everyone who has helped.

[AmBlue]

35. I'm so sorry

... for what you're going through. I donated what I could. I hope things look up for you real soon.

[BlueLucy]

38. Thank you so very much.

I truly appreciate it.

[CrispyQ]

40. I gave a few bucks.

Wish it could be more.

[BlueLucy]

41. Thank you so very much. I truly do appreciate any help I can get. nt

[Rhiannon12866]

42. Kicking this back to the top!

[BlueLucy]

44. Thank you so much!

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the help from the folks here.

[BlueLucy]

45. Kick for visibility. nt

[Rhiannon12866]

46. Kicking this back to the top!